Date Unknown / Time Unknown / Status Not Recording
Location Unknown

I sigh, rolling over in bed and pulling the blankets up to my chin. It’s been a while since I’ve felt this comfortable. It’s like the warmth of the bed is seeping into my skin just as my body seems to be sinking into this mattress… How could I possibly want to get up?

I don’t know what happened, or what suddenly made the bed inside this condo so damned comfortable, considering sleeping in this brand new bed hasn’t exactly been the best since I moved in here. I’m glad though, that finally it’s broken in and now I don’t have to dread coming to bed each night.

I pull in a deep breath, nuzzling into the blanket until a smell hits my nose, something that’s familiar… something that I haven’t sensed in a long time… something that shouldn’t be here right now. I feel my heart beating harder in my chest, I feel my stomach turning in knots.

“Look at you.”

My eyes fly open at the sound of his voice, and that’s when I realize that I’m not in my condo. No where near.

“Welcome home, baby.”

How in the fuck did I get here? Six.. maybe seven hours away… Back in bumfuck Maryland. Back in the home that he and I built together… How? I look down at the blanket I was just burying my face into, it’s his. It’s the blanket he used… or uses. I don’t know. That smell? Him.

How am I so stupid? How did I not know?

I pull the blanket off of my body, wanting to get it as far away from me as possible. The comfort I felt, the contentment.. it all feels like a lie.

“What the hell am I doing here CJ?”

Finally, I manage to look up at him – his eyes being the first thing. They always were the very first thing I looked at when I looked at him. Those auburn hues, they always drew me in, and this time is no different. Although it should be. As quickly as I look up into his eyes, I look away, focusing on the room around me. It looks exactly as it did before I left.

Has he not moved anything since I left?

“Don’t act like you didn’t want to be here again, Luce. I’m just making your wish come true.”

Making my wish come true?

I shake my head and slide to the edge of the bed. Our bed. The bed we shared for years… it’s funny how quickly one can go from feeling entirely comfortable to feeling totally out of place in the space of a few minutes.

My body and my other senses, they betrayed me in the worst way. If only I’d of opened my eyes sooner.

“This… You think I want this?”

I manage to choke the words out. How in the hell could he possibly think that this is what I wanted? Moreso, what gives him the right to just take me from my home, and bring me back to a place where I haven’t been welcomed for months now.

Being back here just makes my skin crawl. It makes me feel just like I did before CJ and I divorced… Unwanted, unneeded, and unwelcome. But that’s okay. That’s why I left. That’s why I’m going to leave again.

“Where do you think you’re going?”

He says, moving into the doorway in front of me.

“Just get out of my way.”

He grins. I can feel the smile on his face even though I’m not looking up at him. After looking at his eyes the first time, I decided that looking anywhere but would be for the best.

I try to push past him, but he stands firm in the doorway.

“Why are you doing this?!”

“Because, Luce…”

He says softly as I feel a hand graze my shoulder. His fingertips trace along my collar bone, and up to my neck.. The spot he knows I my weak spot. I take in a deep breath, clenching my jaw as his fingers run delicately along the skin of my neck, until his hand is softly wrapped around my throat.

“Because you know in your heart of hearts that I’m the only person that can tolerate you.”

The tone of his voice is cold, and it brings a shiver to my body. It’s almost like I can feel the chilly air coming from his mouth as he speaks.

“You know it’s true.”

Now I’m angry.

I reach up and jerk his arm away from my neck.

“Get the fuck off of me.”

I don’t need this. Not when I’m finally getting my shit together. Not when I’ve finally found out what it’s like to be on my own, for the first time since I was a rookie in this business. I thought being on my own was a bad thing, I thought it was something that would break me, would hinder me.. but no, it’s done the exact opposite, and I’m not letting him ruin that for me.

I’m not falling for this shit again.

“You don’t really want that.”

“The fuck I don’t.”

I push past him and head out into the hallway. Jesus, this house looks like it hasn’t aged a day since the day I walked out with nothing but the clothes in my suitcase. It can’t be. He must have moved on with his life, I mean I hope he did. I hope he didn’t just sit around here and figure out a way of getting me back here…

Because I wouldn’t have left if it weren’t for him.

“I can see it, you didn’t want to leave that day.”

I hear him following me down the stairs, his words bouncing off of me like a rubber ball off of a wall. He doesn’t have a God damned clue what’s going in my mind. He hasn’t for a while.

“I left, didn’t I?”

“You thought the grass was greener on the other side, how’d that work out for you by the way?”

The question hits me like a ton of bricks, just as I reach the front door. I stop and lay my head against the wood, my hands coming up beside it.

Breathe, Lucy.

He’s trying to piss you off.

Don’t let him.

Don’t give him the satisfaction of setting you off.

“I didn’t leave you because of him.”

“But didn’t you?”

“NO!”

I yell out, turning around to face him – my face burning with anger.

“I left because you were a terrible husband! You’re selfish, egotistical, and you don’t understand how the whole marriage thing was supposed to work! Shit, CJ… You still don’t get it.”

He comes off of the final step, that smirk still on his face as he approaches me again.

“Yet I was the only person in the world who wanted you around. God knows no one else sees any value in you.”

“Bullshit.”

“No, no.. It’s true. If you were everything you’re fucked up mind says you are, then Gabriel would be hanging all over you, stupid girl.”

I open my mouth to speak, but nothing comes out. I can only stand here and stare into his eyes. The eyes of the man I once loved. The eyes of the man I thought I’d do anything for. I turn away and go to pull the door open, but he grabs me by the arm and whips me around, pressing himself into me.

“CJ–”

“Ceej, is she awake?”

A feminine voice echoes through the foyer, catching my attention. Another familiar voice, and another nagging feeling in the pit of my stomach.

“Yeah, come and see her.”

CJ says, pulling me into the living room and pushing me gently towards the couch. Who in the hell is he talking to and why in the hell does he have me here while he’s got another woman in our… I mean his house?

I was already feeling uneasy when I heard her voice, and that feeling of fear and uncertainty didn’t fade when CJ moved me back into the living room. That feeling got worse when I looked into the doorway to see Kyra standing there, a smug look on her face as she held a glass of wine in her hand.

“Kyra?”

“In the flesh, big sis.”

She pushes off the door frame, walking into the room – coming to stand beside CJ. She stares at me for a few seconds before turning her attention up at CJ.

“I take it she was already trying to leave.”

He nods his head.

“Doesn’t surprise me. You’re pretty good at running away from shit, aren’t you Luce?”

I back away, shaking my head.

I can’t believe this is happening. I thought Kyra and CJ hated one another. I thought those two couldn’t stand to be in the same room together, so what’s this?

“Get off it, Kyra. I–”

She calmly hands CJ her glass, and before I can finish my sentence she rushes at me, nailing me in the face with a closed fist. My nose cracks with the impact and I stumble backwards, landing unceremoniously on my ass, on the floor. I reach up with both hands, gingerly touching my nose, feeling the blood rushing from both nostrils.

“Jesus fucking christ!”

I look up from the ground, seeing CJ holding Kyra back.

“We weren’t supposed to–”

“No, we weren’t supposed to kill her yet. They said nothing about roughing her up a little.”

Not supposed to kill me yet?!

“Do you really think they’re going to appreciate getting their package with a broken nose?”

Kyra turns around, facing CJ, her stance one of tension as the two face off.

“Do you really think the Bitch didn’t deserve that?!”

“I didn’t say that…. Fine. You’re right.”

CJ relents. I can’t believe it. He relented to her. Of all people. The stiffness in Kyra’s body eases up and she turns her head back towards me, almost as if she’s making sure I’m watching them.

Why wouldn’t I be?

She looks into my eyes, the smile returning to her face as she moves in closer to CJ, grabbing her glass from his hand and bringing her free one to his face, caressing his cheek. For a moment I lose all interest in my bleeding nose as I watch her bring his face down to hers, their lips touching in a soft, sensual kiss.

The taste of copper hits my lips, snapping me out of my stupor as the two finally pull apart.

“What the–”

“The grass wasn’t greener, sis. You’re alone, and I have him. How does that feel?”

“You… Y-You and him?”

Kyra laughs and turns her attention back to CJ, ignoring me.

“You mind getting her ready for the trip, babe?”

CJ’s auburn eyes flash towards me, and then back to Kyra.

“Yeah, sure. You go get ready.”

Where are they taking me and who are they talking about taking me to? Jesus, what fucked up world am I in that Kyra and CJ are… together?

Kyra kisses him again, before heading out of the room. As she gets to the doorway, she turns and winks at me. I bring my hands back up to my face, checking my nose again as I try to keep myself from throwing up. Being here again, with him… seeing her… wondering what is going to happen to me… I can’t handle it.

I bring my crimson covered hands back down into my lap, as a shadow overlaps my entire body. I look up, but I can’t see CJ’s face for the shadow shrouding the entire front of him.

“What’s going on, Ceej… Please. Just tell me.. Let me–”

He gets down on his knees in front of me, and I can again see his eyes. They don’t look sad, or apprehensive. They have a certainty about them. They look sure of whatever he’s about to do, whatever they’re about to do and that scares me.

“You’re going to get exactly what you’ve got coming to you, Luce.”

He reaches out, grabbing me again by my throat and jerking me up to my feet along with him. He takes me to the kitchen where he pulls my head under the faucet of the sink. The cold water takes me by surprise, as he washes the blood from my face, not being gentle in the slightest.

I scream out again as he roughly wipes my nose and I feel a swift slap to my ass.

“Shut up.”

I feel his other hand in my hair, pulling my head back as I hear the water turn off.

“You’re pitiful.”

“Please, please.. I don’t–”

Instantly I feel his other hand around my throat again, this time much tighter than the last.

“You gave all of this up, pushed everyone away for someone who was using you. For someone who couldn’t possibly control you the way I can, someone who didn’t want the responsibility of controlling you. I’ll tell you what. You tell me, truthfully that you made a mistake when you left me… and I might consider letting you go.”

He lets me go, and I back away from him – the tears stinging at the corners of my eyes. Tell him that I made a mistake? I did.

“I- I Did… I made a mistake…”

The tears begin flowing from my eyes, the hot fluid searing a trail down my cheeks as I fall to my knees in front of him.

“I fucked up… I shouldn’t have left you.”

He nods his head, but I can see the disbelief in his face.

“I’m telling the truth! I swear! I love you, CJ… I always have. You really are the only man for me and I’m sorry… Please… Please forgive me for what I did.. for the terrible mistake I made.”

Silence falls between us, except for my heart beating out of my chest. He gazes over me with a critical eye, it’s pretty obvious he’s trying to make me panic. It’s too late for that, though.

“No.”

“No?”

“NO. I don’t forgive you. I just wanted to hear you admit it. I wanted to watch you beg… fucking beg for forgiveness… Just so I could deny you and give you over to people who want to hurt you worse than we do.”

 

Date November 29th 2017 / Time 11:29AM / Status Not Recording
Location The Paper Street Tattoo Company – Brooklyn, New York

To say that it’s not been a good morning would be an understatement.

I woke up a few hours ago, disoriented and afraid. I woke up with an empty bottle of whiskey beside me and the OWF Network Championship. Yeah, that.

I don’t remember much about last night. I guess downing a bottle of booze will do that. The headache I’m dealing with now makes it even harder to think, but I do remember receiving a package. I do remember reading the return address on the label and feeling my stomach sink down into the depths of my body. I opened the package to find that my ex husband had sent me something… The OWF Network title belt.

I remember wondering why. Why would he do that. After all these months. I had forgotten that I had left that, along with many other things that I decided I didn’t need to fight over in the divorce. So why send me something as petty as a title belt.. It just doesn’t make sense. It’s not like CJ. At least I didn’t think it was like him.

I don’t know anymore.

Suffice it to say, after spending part of my morning staring at that belt, thinking about that dream, and thinking about what I did to Kyra… I needed to get out of there for a while. It was either that or drinking myself into oblivion again, and I figured that pickling myself so early in the day isn’t a good idea.

So here I am.

Here to see someone I care about. One of the few people in this world that I can trust. At least I hope so.

I thought I could trust Gabriel… but… Nevermind.

Not the time.

I walk into the tattoo shop, and suddenly four sets of eyes are on me… but none of them belong to the lady that I’m here to see. I look towards the back of the shop and see the office door closed. I point towards the back and look at the tattoo artists in their chairs, mouthing the words, ‘Is she in there?’

They nod their heads in unison and I smile.

I get to the door and lean on it, lightly tapping.

“Come in!”

I open the door and peek my head in.

“Hey, how was Australia?”

“Oh, hey!”

Maggie says, perking up as she realizes that it’s me behind the door. It’s nice to see that someone is still happy to see me now a days.

“It was great! Uh… Interesting too! But I wish that it wasn’t so goddamn far away.”

I can’t help but chuckle as I step into the room. She just got back from Australia. She went there for an FSW show. She made it to the finals of the Tournament of Power and it ended in a draw… But even more interesting was what happened after her match.. or rather what ended her match.

“I bet it was interesting…”

I reply, grinning devilishly. I watched the show the other night, and watched her.. my friend, someone I’ve gotten to know so well in these last few months… I watched her destroy her opponent, and the ringside area along with a group of her peers. I saw the bad side of Magdalena Lockheart.

It was enthralling.

“I’m glad you’re back though.”

I missed her though. Australia is awfully far away. That much is true.

“Interesting, hmm? Oh.. You mean- I guess you must’ve seen the show already. Word travels fast, huh?”

I nod my head.

“Oh, I saw it. Got me wondering if this is what I should look forward to in our match in a few weeks?”

I laugh. It does make me wonder if she’s turned over a new leaf, or if this was a one time deal. I can’t deny that it would be interesting either way.

It’s also interesting that Maggie thinks that I wouldn’t have been watching her show.. Like I have been since she joined FSW all those months ago. It’s just something I do for people I care about.

“No..”

She replies, I can sense the nervousness in her voice as she chuckles to try and cover it up.

“I’m not bringing them with me, and besides, this isn’t what people think that it is.”

I move around the chair and take a seat across from her, the desk separating us. I cross my legs and sigh softly.

“That’s a shame. Bad looks good on you.”

And it does. It was beyond interesting to see something beyond the nice girl Maggie that I’ve come to know.

“Oh really?”

She sounds surprised. I guess that makes sense. She did just say that it wasn’t what it seemed. Maybe there is more to it and maybe I shouldn’t just look at what’s on the surface. But what was on the surface was pretty damn awesome.

“My business there has more to do with James Tyson, and FSW, and the way that it’s managed more so than anything else. Our match at Horizons is just UGWC needing a replacement, and having basically no one else to turn to. But thanks for roping me in as just another bad girl.”

Well she didn’t take that exactly as I had meant it.

But she is right about one thing, the whole Lacklan debacle is a mess… and who knows what the landscape of this place would be if Lacklan hadn’t been abducted and injured.

I put my arms up and shake my head.

“It was meant as a compliment, Mags. Just think about it. You’ve got this good girl look about you.. You’re always nice to everyone, you always do the right thing no matter what… and then Boom! You come in and you fuck a bunch of shit up for the hell of it. You showed everyone your dark side… and seeing Maggie’s dark side was pretty damn awesome.”

I smile and shrug.

“You might not think what you did was a big deal or whatever, but you got everyone talking about you… As if they weren’t enough already. And that, my dear.. is the point.”

She’s so young.. She thinks about things differently. Sure, she had an ulterior motive for what she did with those other people, and I do look forward to hearing the reason… But for now, she’s got a dialogue started and without realizing that that’s what she wanted… she accomplished it.

“I never really thought about it like that.”

She replies, those sparkling eyes of hers peering across her desk at me. She’s got really pretty eyes.

“I get why the fans booed, I really do. But I don’t think I did anything that is not me. I mean, I try to be nice to people, I really do. I’ve had people tell me that my biggest flaw is being too nice. So what if that’s true? What am I supposed to do then? Start randomly hating? Hah. The haters think that they have everything figured out. I don’t think anyone really knows me like they think that they do.”

I’m sure she’s right about that. It’s honestly rare now a days for people to really and truly want to take the time to get to know someone for who they really are. I lean forward, towards the desk, resting my elbows there and placing my chin on my palms as I smile across at her.

“Remind me to get to know you better, then.”

She’s a complex person, that much is obvious and soon, soon I have to step into the ring with her for the Cross-Hemisphere Championship. That’ll be a real test of our friendship, if there hasn’t been one up until now.

I stick my tongue out at her, and chuckle.

“Hah. Besides Nadette and maybe Rosalyn… you may be the one person that knows me best already… but hey, if you really want to… You know where I live AND where I work, haha.”

“Speaking of work… How’re you feeling?”

“Well…”

She clasps her hands tight.

“I don’t know. I don’t even know if I’m going to be employed by the EWC soon. I’ve been sitting around here waiting for a phone call all day.”

I nod my head. I can imagine that she would be worried. But then again, she made a choice to do what she did and whatever the consequence – she’ll have to live with it. And she will, either way.

“I really wouldn’t worry too much about it. They’d be idiots to let you go. And if they do? There’s plenty more places chomping at the bit to have you.”

A promising young talent with so much untapped potential? She’d have another job lined up within hours. I honestly wish I’d of had the opportunities that she will when I was that age. If I’d of had these opportunities open to me when CWA fired me…

Who knows what would have happened..

“If they let me go, then they don’t get their chance at revenge. And you’re right. Someplace else would probably take me now.”

“They would’ve taken you before, if we’re being honest.”

“Yeah well, things are a bit different now, huh?”

I sigh and lean back in the chair, crossing my arms over my chest. Of course things are different. They always change, because changes always come and that’s just a fact of life. One thing that CJ taught me that I’ll never forget.

“True, but not in a bad way. You’ve got nothing to worry about. Everyone is waiting to find out why, and that’s gonna be your chance to tell them how it is.”

Maggie smirks.

“They’re not going to like what they hear, either.”

My eyebrows raise, seeing a little glimpse of Bad Maggie and that fire that’s in her eyes when she talks about it. I can’t wait to find out why she did it either, honestly.

“Oh! Well I’m glad I’m not on the receiving end of that.”

My mind temporarily falls back to my dream, the words of Kyra and CJ ringing about in my head. I don’t remember much about that dream anymore, but I do remember them telling me that I deserve the bad things that I will receive… Or something like that. It’s hard not to feel like that was real. It felt so real.

Makes me think I should call Kyra, at least try to apologize, but something tells me that she wouldn’t even answer the phone anyway.

I look back up to see Maggie blushing. Was it something I said?

“I would never. You would need more than just a stern talking to… You’d probably need a spanking.”

Instinctively I roll my eyes… She has no idea. She has no idea how truthful her little joke is.

“You’re telling me.”

I feel a bit of heat rising to my cheeks. I shouldn’t be talking about this with her. Instead I clear my throat and try to think of something to change the subject.

“Besides… if things go your way at Horizons.. you’ll have beaten my as in a different way, and taken the Cross-Hemisphere title for yourself.”

That wasn’t quite the subject change I was hoping for… but a partial change works, right?

It does scare me a little that she very well could come in and take that belt… Just like Sarah did. But I can’t show that. I can’t let her know that it worries me, even though we’re friends.. I can’t let her see that weakness because that would be my undoing.

“At this point, I hold no illusion at I have any chance of beating you for that belt on your home turf. But if I do end up needing a place to go after EWC, it’s nice that I’ll already be working the UGWC show.”

I shrug my shoulders.

“Listen, don’t count yourself out. You’re crazy good and you know that. I didn’t expect to lose the belt to Sarah, and look what happened. Nothing certain, especially in this business.”

Maggie nods her head.

“It’s crazy that UGWC couldn’t find someone else. This whole thing is a mess.”

“What’s crazier is that ‘The Court‘…”

I say their name whilst rolling my eyes as hard as I can and using a pair of exaggerated hand quotes.

“Didn’t cash in some more of their money to get this belt for their own as well. But yeah, it’s a mess. I’m glad I’m facing you, though. For the first time in a while, I’m going up against someone I like.”

It’s refreshing, to say the least. To not be going into a match with ill will and hard feelings isn’t something I’ve dealt with a lot in the past. I’ve had a few of those matches, most notably against Brad Jackson and Amy Jo Smyth.. but nothing compares to actually getting the chance to fight someone like Maggie. Someone who I (almost) know that won’t come out of our match with any hard feelings…

I hope.

“I guess they didn’t cash in on you because they knew that it would be a waste of their money.”

That and I’ve thought it a hundred times… she’s so much like me when I was that age, it’s fucking crazy. Although, I’ve said it before too… she’s so much better than I was.

Suddenly Maggies face takes on a different look. I don’t even know what it could be. She looks like she’s deep in thought about something, maybe it’s about the whole EWC thing. Yeah, I’m sure that’s what it is. I know how it is to not be able to get my mind off of something.. I’ve been feeling that way since the other day at Kyra’s house. And that’s not even the only thing that’s got me fucked up… But its the most recent.

“With them, you never know. Anyway though… You hungry? You wanna go grab something?”

Why not? It’ll be good for both of us to go somewhere and relax, have some fun. I enjoy being around her, she’s a good person.. With an amazingly interesting bad streak. Since Gabriel… since all of that… It’s nice to be around someone that I can trust.

Her eyes light up.

“Oh, I’m starving. I’d love to grab something with you.”

I chuckle. I don’t know if she realizes how that answer looks… Probably not.

“Where would you like to go?”

The younger woman looks like she’s in shock.  I wouldn’t know why… I only asked her where she’d like to go.  Nothing out of the ordinary about that, at least that’s what I think.

“I’d go anywhere with you.”

She looks supremely embarrassed as she spit that out. I’m guessing she didn’t mean for it to come out like that. I laugh again and shrug my shoulders.

“Well that certainly opens up the options… Hmm? Come on, we’ll talk about it on the way.”

 

Date December 6th 2017 / Time 8:49AM / Status Not Recording
Location The Wylde Residence – New York City, New York

It’s too early for a drink.

It’s too God damned early for a drink.

But damnit it looks so good right now.

I did it. I read the article.. It only took me what, a month? That’s got to be a record, right? I mean, I’m sure Kyra hasn’t touched it yet, considering she threw her copy out that day. I read it and… and nothing changed. Not really, I guess.

Other than the fact that I know there’s another bottle of something in the cupboard and I feel like it shouldn’t be there.

Okay, so maybe this inner dialogue isn’t the healthiest thing in the world, and neither is the want to drown myself in alcohol this early in the morning.

What made me want to read it?

Now that’s a great question.

Ichabod came to visit me yesterday morning. I walked out of the bedroom to find him sitting, right where I’m sitting now.. holding the same newspaper I am, except he was already studying it studiously when I emerged from my room and nearly had a heart attack.

Interesting man, that one is.

Found it telling that I hadn’t read it yet. Found it even more so that I felt guilty over something. Jesus, I thought I kept my shit together pretty well… Unless he’s just that good at reading people like me.

That’s probably it.

Gave me a few words of ‘encouragement’… if that’s what it could be construed as, coming from Ichabod… and he was gone. Left the paper open to the article… on purpose, of course. Made me walk around it all day, glancing at it, even stopping to critique the magazines choice of pictures once or twice.

That was until last night.

Until I had a real, deep heart to heart with myself and realized that I’m a fucking moron. I’m letting a piece of paper scare me. I’m letting it rip me apart, without even knowing what the fuck was said.

Then again, that’s not the only thing that’s fucking with me, am I right?

That’s a talk for another day.

So I read it. I read every single solitary word of what my worthless, piece of shit parents said about me. It was exactly what I expected. It was everything that I’d feared for the weeks since I saw it.

And the worst part?

My mother went along with everything that that asshole said. She hasn’t changed one bit. She’s still letting him run her life, just like he tried to do with us. And without either of us there, I’m sure she’s getting the beatings even worse than we did… If that’s even possible.

He said I abandoned him… Them. He said I left them all alone when he was in failing health. That I left in the middle of the night, and left my younger sister without a role model to look up to.. which is the reason she ended up a juvenile delinquent.

Shit shouldn’t hurt me as much as it does.

Shouldn’t hurt me at all. It’s all lies. It’s all lies, but it’s all things that everyone else in my life doesn’t know. Things that they might believe because they don’t know anything about my past.

My fault though.

And now that I’ve read it, now that I know… Now the game begins, wondering when The Court is going to use it against me. Wondering if JC or Maggie are going to see it, and wonder what kind of person their friend really is… Wondering if CJ is questioning the morals of the woman he married.. or if he still believes my version of the story…

What does it matter anymore anyway?

What does any of it matter?

I didn’t abandon them. He wasn’t in failing health, unless he pulled a fucking muscle while he was beating the shit out of Kyra everyday. Yeah, I left.. I left in the middle of the night, I left when he was asleep… I left scared, not for myself, but for Kyra. I left because I didn’t know what else to do. I spent years being the punching bag, before Kyra came along. I knew what Kyra was going through, and every single day I wondered when he was going to come back to the original…

And I didn’t want to be around when that happens.

So I left.

I left her. And that’s the only thing he’s right about. But I was no role model. I couldn’t defend her. I was too scared. I was too fucking scared to stand up to him when he did what he did. That’s no role model. The people that Kyra ended up with, the people who taught her to fight the way she does today… Those are the role models she needed.

Not me.

And after what I did the other day, I keep thinking that maybe she and I should have just stayed the way we were before we made up. At least when she hated me before, I could feel dignified that I thought I was doing the right thing for myself… Even though it was damn sefish and I regretted it every day.

But now? I knowingly taunted her about what our asshole father did to her. I lost myself a bit that day. More than a little. But I’ve been losing it a little more everyday… But I just keep going. Keep proving myself a little crazier every day, giving ‘The Court’ exactly what they wanted…

Crazy.

Stalker.

Obsessed.

And I’m going to continue giving it to them… Because Gabriel, Eden and their little flock deserve it. They deserve everything we give them… But Kyra didn’t.

She didn’t deserve that, even though she’s been acting like another member of the court lately. I thought she did. I tried to justify myself for that, the chaos… introducing it into every aspect of my life, but I just can’t do that.

I can’t do that.

I pull the drink from the cabinet. Wine. Where the hell did I get wine?

Eh. A drink is a drink at this point.

 

This entire situation is a damn shame, don’t you all think so?   Days, literally days after winning the Cross-Hemisphere championship from me in what I can only assume was one of the best nights of her young career… Sarah Lacklan was forced to relinquish that coveted belt, forced to give up what she’d worked so hard for… because of someone elses actions. 

Now, I might not like the kind of person that she is; I might not like the company she keeps and the way she handles herself but there’s one thing that I do like about her.  Her fucking spirit.  Her drive.  That annoying ‘never give up’ attitude.  How many times did we face?  Too fucking many.  But each and every time, we took each other to the limit and we proved to each other and everyone watching us in the stands or backstage that we both meant business. 

She beat me.  She got the belt, and it’s not fair that it had to be taken away from her so quickly.

I know my opinion isn’t a popular one, and hell.. some people around here think that my respect and my moral compass are just my way of trying to get the UGWC to gift me that belt back… It’s like none of you know me at all.   It’s like none of you have even cared to understand what kind of person I am. 

Crazy?  Sure.  Demented?  Why not.  Obsessed?  Of course. 

But I don’t take the easy way out. 

Never have, never will. 

And at Horizons in a few days, I get to prove that again.  I get to prove that against someone I respect, someone who respects me for who I am and what I’ve brought to this business.

Maggie.

I know what you’re thinking, you don’t deserve this match.. you shouldn’t be here.  You have no right to be going up against me for a chance at this belt.. but I say, who the fuck cares?  You’re here.  I’m here.  Let’s fucking go out there and have the match of the night.  Lets upstage everyone… From Dave Rydell to Gabriel fucking Baal himself… Let’s make Horizons about us.

Horizons is a big night. 

Not for me, for you.  I mean you’re in the infancy of your career, compared to some of us.  You’re just coming over the horizon of your career, where people like Donovan Hastings might be heading out where you came in… might be riding off into the sunset if Jet beats him.  It’s a night of beginnings and endings. 

Nights like this are made for you, Maggie.  But don’t think that just because I’m saying this means that I’m not going to give you one hundred and ten percent out there because I’m going to do anything everything in my power to become the three time Cross-Hemisphere champion.  Not because I don’t think you can hold your own with this belt, but because I’m not done yet.  I’m not done cementing my legacy with this belt, and I can’t do that if someone else is holding it.

But if you do come out on top.. I look forward to watching you create your own legacy. 

I see so much of myself in you, I know I’ve never told you that, but I do.  I see a much smarter, more ring saavy me when I look at you.  Sure, I was a world champion in my rookie year.  I held a couple different belts at once back then, but looking back… I don’t know how I did it.  I don’t know how the younger, dumber me ended up being the face of a promotion… But that’s not the point.  You’re going to go places, Maggie and if you have to step over me to do it, then do it.

Just do me a favor?

Bring it all.  Show me the woman that I saw on FSW.  Show me the badass who isn’t afraid to stand up for what she wants.  That’s the woman I want to stand across from in the ring.  No, I’m not talking about ‘Bad Maggie’ or like you said ‘Just another bad girl’.  I’m talking about that passion, that vigor.  I want the same Maggie that’s so damn passionate about FSW, I want her to be just as passionate about the UGWC, about me and this title belt that we’re going to be fighting over.

It’s a prestigious belt.  It’s been won and held by more legends in this business than I can remember at this point.  Hell, I won it from two of the best that are still mucking it up around here.  Killian and Zane.  Gabriel held it for a little while this year too… Another legend in the making.  No, I’ve not done this belt enough service by knowing each and every person who’s held it.. and that’s something I need to fix… but I want to do that while I’m becoming another one of those legends in the making. 

I’m not there yet.

I may never make it… But I won’t give up without trying to be one of the best champions that the UGWC has ever had.  Both fortunately, and unfortunately… that road takes me here… to you.  It puts me into the ring with a friend, someone whom I care about deeply.  It puts us both in a spot where a lot of people would think that we have to choose… our friendship or the championship?

But we both know that’s not true.

We both know that we can walk out of Horizons, no matter who wins and we can continue right where we left off.  There’s no doubt in my mind.  There’s also no doubt in my mind that you have everything that it takes to be anything that you want… Be it FSW Champion, EWC Tag Team Champion, or UGWC Cross Hemisphere Champion…

Anything.

No hard feelings.  None at all.  No matter what, I promise.

See you out there, Mags.

 

OOC: Maggie/CJ Used with Permission!