…it was never meant to be

The way life works is a very funny thing. You could be riding the high wave and soon enough you come crashing down and almost drowning. I’m pretty sure that most of us at some point in our life have had that near death experience in the water.

The quickness of the water pulling you under and taking your breath away as you are kicking and splashing for life itself. Trying to scream, but hard to when your mouth is becoming more full of water by the second as it enters your lungs. You see the waves and bubbles and what under the water looks like as well before your vision starts to go black and then…

BOOM!

You’re dead. Maybe not so much dead, but you for sure fall into a deep coma. One you may not ever wake up from as if it is a bad dream of some sorts. Don’t we all wish that we could wake up from our bad dreams which are actually reality?

“Man, if only there was some way where you could be around all the time. You know how much trouble we would get into? I’m telling you bro there is no way anything can tear us apart.”

Those were the words spoken of a friend… well used to be friend. His name was Chris. The guy was certainly like an older brother figure. For seven years, seven long years. I mean there was not ever a wedge that could have split the two apart. Even though they weren’t exactly blood related, they were as close as brothers could be.

“Yo Chris.”
“What’s up man?”
“How about the two of us, just pack the hell up and peace out man. There is not a damn thing here for us in this sorry ass city.”
“Are the white women going to be there?”
“What is it with you and the white women man? Your ass is going to end up in another case like OJ Simpson if you don’t sit your ass down.”
“That’s a chance I’m willing to take and if I happened to get caught then I’m going out with a smile on my fucking face.”

There was a shared chuckle amongst the two men even though the conversation was a serious one. For Chris his thing was well, basketball and the white women of the world. Never quite could understand why Chris and his love for the opposite race, not that there is anything wrong with that. Quite fond of that this way over here as well. The reasoning and explanation just wasn’t ever very clear, but hey… you like what you like. And then you have the ones you don’t like.

“I’m NEVER letting you set me up again on any kind of blind dates. I mean what the hell was that you had me going out with tonight? Looked like a cross of the back of my hairy black ass, Dobby, and Miss Piggy with pasty skin and crusty hair. UGH.”
“I’m weak as fuck off of that man. Hey, you just told me to find you someone to go out with so I got you one of my friends. More so for you to help her with her life, the same as you did me.”
“There is no helping that, you set me up and you’re going to burn in hell for that.”
“Damn dog, you don’t have to take it that far. I think in time you will realize that you were wrong about all of this and you will give it a chance.”
“Don’t count on it.”
“You got it man.”

The one thing that I don’t understand is why you always had to be so damn picky with what I did. You always criticized me. I was never good enough to be around in your circle. It was always you rely to much on people, you are too attached. You need to not give a damn. Stop hitting me up so much. There is no need for you to be around me so much.

You made it all way more than what it ever was. You were my brother man, someone to look up to and be there for me and give me advice. But you had other plans, you had plans to sit there and tell me that I was fake, when I was the only one there for you when times got hard, but because you could not open up and want to talk everything is my fault.

You wanted to have your cutting season and because of a social media post with someone tagged that I said I didn’t deal with like that anymore, you took it as me lying. If I really wanted to lie that bad then I would have come up with something better than that. The thing is you just wanted a way out. You never were meant to be in my life very long anyways.

Then it happened. I got a call one early morning after a year of us not speaking. You… you… you took your own life. WHY?! Why would you be so selfish as to decide to do something like that? Had all of your social media followers believing you were okay and putting on a show for them, but yet you lived a lie yourself.

Contradictory.

While putting me down and aside you could not even be true to those who wanted to help you or be in your life. You wanted to put on a show but deep down the entire time you were hurting, you were raged and wanted to make everyone look stupid. A permanent solution to a temporary problem. I can’t believe you and the hurt that you have caused me and I have yet to come to terms with it.

I have yet to be the same man that I was before then. Now I am numb. Now I have no remorse, no care in the world. I have no time to try to understand others points of view when it is all a lie. That is what you have me believing right now and it kills me. The darkness consumes my heart and now I can honestly say that I am all about me.

It’s why I was so quick to say yes to this match being changed to Ultraviolent rules. I mean why not? You took away the one thing that I needed before you took your life away. An apology. A settlement. You have killed all that good trust that was inside of me wanting to give people credibility. You are honestly the reason that I have put so much faith in people just for you to turn and kill that for me by lying the entire time and then take yourself out.

YOU ARE TO BLAME. YOU ARE WHY I AM FUCKED UP IN THE HEAD AND CAN’T FIGURE OUT JUST WHAT IT IS I WANT. I have heard all of the talk behind my back on how Isaiah has just been a flopping fish. How I leech onto others when it sounds good enough to jump on the train. I’ve made a lot of dumb ass mistakes in my rookie year with only a few good moments that have people talking. You’re good, but not good enough to make it when it counts.

Their right, they are all right. Hence why it seems like I am using Harry to get ahead. People, especially Paragon want to point out the fact that the person who’s livelihood I tried to destroy and end their career is the person I am suddenly leaning on. Leaning on for what exactly? I did that once before with that awful umbrage called Andrew Watts and we see how that worked out for me.

It’s like all of those situations were the same as my old, no deceased friend there. Shine a light in my world just to rip it all away. Put on a great facade. But this is why this is all the problem. I am focused too much on others like I did you. My focus should not be on whether Harry thinks I am using him or not when in reality he would be riding my coattails, I don’t give two shits about Paragon and their obsessive mind games they are trying to play. I don’t care about anyone but myself.

It has been a long, long time coming and now I have no choice but to finally come to terms with this friend who was so selfish to exit the world on his time and realize that you are never coming back. I’m never going to get the chance to be good enough in your eyes. So I have to take that failure and make others believe it.

Kyra and TJ look at this match as just a joke. They made that clear on Chaos and our little Twitter war that we were in way over our heads. We don’t belong in the same ring as them. Paragon is the inevitable as Thanos would say, but what exactly does it mean? The inevitable can be countered if you know how to handle it. I for one can handle it. Mind games Kyra? Try again with someone else who you think you can fool. It’s so easy to want to turn everything around that I say and throw it to Harry to try and cause dysfunction between the two of us. When it comes to mind games though, I am the head master. No one can play them better than me.

So what if I am using Harry to get to those Tag Team Championships. I mean as long as he is getting something out of the deal too though right? What better way than to beat the lady who wanted to throw this match on its head and add a little blood to it. You must really truly honestly be fucked up in your head to do something like this. Why is it that you do this to yourself Kyra? Is it because you love the feeling of abuse?

Oops. Soft spot much? I know a lot about you Kyra. I relate to you more than you could ever know so your little insults are just a way to mask the hurt and pain that you deal with all of your nefarious life. I wish I could say I had a bit of empathy for you, but I don’t because you said one too many things to get yourself on my good side. I plan on taking your gold from you and your little lap dog of a partner. It’ll be like they just were unwillingly taken from you, just like so many other unwilling things that happened to you right?

I told you Kyra, I can be just as sadistic as you can. Twisted even. The problems in my life are far and between because I haven’t let any demons out into the world of mine yet. However you are so vulnerable. You want so badly out that you are doing whatever you can to make sure it happens. Honestly, I will go to hell and back and do whatever it is I have to do to get ahead from here on out. So before our match tonight you might want to call your little girl and let her know that mommy may not be the same person when she returns because just like your past, I’m going to have my way with you.

You or your partner can not stop the beating that is going to ensue when we hit that ring. For too long I have been made to look like a joke and can’t ever hit the big one when it counts but I promise you on everything that when the dust settles, we will NO longer be looked at as a joke.

Speaking of jokes, TJ. Where have you been hiding in all of this? You’re always so quiet like a little puppy dog. I mean you are the bottom man on the totem pole when it comes to that little stable of yours. Are you on a speak when spoken to basis with them. Do you only come out from the shadows when you are summoned? It’s got to be so hard to be an outcast among your own friends. I mean look at this way, at least now you will be able to see a friend walk away with your gold. You know the gold you and Kyra have now that was supposed to be you and Harry? Yeah, funny how things come full circle right? Luckily I have no interest in you at all and just want to focus on your partner. You’ll be a walk in the park, a sitting duck. Kyra is too emotionally wrecked to give a damn about you and your well being when it comes to this. You’re literally the one that is going to be sacrificed for the soul stone that is needed for the Infinity Gauntlet. I guess your time with Paragon is winding down?

Kyra, babes listen. I know deep down in your heart that you want to win so bad but you and I both know that you can’t go on anymore. You know that you have to give it up sooner or later or you are going to kill yourself trying to fight off everything possible. You had a great run sis, but you gotta give it up. Take me lightly as you please, because that is what I need. That is what I want. I need you to help me release my inner rage and my inner demons on every part of you to make you feel accomplished. Is that what you want? For Isaiah Luck to find his place in Carnage?

In time I will but becoming a Tag Team Champion is a start, but seeing that everyone needs to know what is going on in my head and why I did what I did, quite simple. Harry needed someone that could easily have his back and make sure that he was pushed to be his best to win. Why not me? The man who just ran a whole months course with this guy in a best of five series match and I won. He pushed me hard for his two wins. I gained some respect for him, just a little. Not enough to care about the troll but I know he wants to succeed just like I do.

It’s been fun just playing the background music and being a back up singer, but it is time I come full front. I be the star. I’ve come so close so many times and have just cracked but that all ends at Underground Destiny. It is my Destiny to fight the powers at be that think they run the place and show that there are others who can dominate and speak on a level of being fastidious.

Kyra. TJ. It’s time to let a sleeping dog lie and get yourselves ready for the fight of your lives. Every bruise, bone fractured, sweat, tears, scar that is going to be on us in the near future will be totally worth it. A war is about to break out and it is one that I will look at as my victory of overcoming the odds of everything that has been put in my way in my life. So for that right now I say, thank you. And also thank you for being the ones to put up a half decent fight to myself and Harry who will be your NEW Carnage Wrestling Tag Team Champions.


…full circle

Storms don’t always last forever. Even though when the darkest of days still come, looking for that light is what is going to make it all better. You’ve got to look past it all and even though Harry and Isaiah had no idea what they were really in for as a new team on the block… well things had to start to becoming brighter somewhere.

The best way was to get an understanding of each other. The two worked enough against each other in the ring, why not try to train together as a team? Of course little old prompt Harry had to be on time and the somewhat assholish Isaiah had to show up as if he were Johnny Cage important and be ready to things. Harry was annoyed, and Isaiah loved every bit of it.

“Gosh Harry why the long face?”
“Och laird swatch(look) fa(who) it is. Th’ amazin’ Isaiah Luck. Haur tae bless me wi’ his presence. Jackass…”
“Oui laddy. It takes a while for perfection, but you wouldn’t know anything about that now would ya? I mean look at ya.”
“Listen haur lucky charms. Jist coz we’re in thes tag team match doesnae pure techt(mean) we hae tae be friends. Quite frankly Ah cannae stain(stand) th’ fact ‘at ye cam it thaur lest shaw.(show)”
“Please. You would fall on your face trying to take them on. You’re bold, not stupid. Or is it vice versa? Hmm.”
“Ye waur bauld an’ glaikit(stupid) when ye tried tae pull ‘at jobby ye did wi’ terra. Wa shoods Ah troost ye tae be in mah corner?”
“Let’s get this straight. You’re in my corner. I’m the ring leader here. You lost to me remember? I mean we can always repeat it if you want?”
“Reit. We’ll pure(definitely) be tag champs wi’ ‘at attitude. Ah dornt wanna hae tae pit ye oan yer crease(ass) afair th’ big match! Whit dae ye want?”
“We are training. You see that giant squared circle right there. Let’s spar… I mean if you don’t want me to drop you on your head.”
“Aam aye ready fur a spar. Bin itchin’ tae make ye tap it(out)”

The two are in the ring getting the feel for each other in the ring. The chain wrestling and both trying to show one another up. Some quick suplexes, quick leapfrogs, matching arm drags, double dropkicks with flips back to their feet. Good stuff. They go for the greco roman knucklelock into the test of strength. Isaiah gets the advantage, tripping the leg of Harry who in return catches Isaiah, pulling his body weight onto his feet into the air and then pops up to monkey flip Isaiah who lands on his feet. Isaiah gloated for a bit as he does best before running towards Harry ducking a clothesline and jumping onto the ropes to turn around and go for a hurricanrana but it ends up being botched. A very irate Isaiah stands up to his feet marching towards Harry.

“WHAT THE FUCK HARRY?!?”
“Whaur th’ buck waur ye oan ‘at spot? Ah was in position!”
“Yeah I think not you could have damn near killed me you moron. Look there is no time for anyone to make mistakes. Get your head into the game. Or should I say get your head out of your girls chest and focus. This is exactly what Paragon wanted. This is what they are talking about. This might not ever work.”
“Mah heed has aye bin in th’ gam. Since day one. Ye oan th’ other hain lack focus. Mebbe if ye hud a hen(woman) yerself yoo’d loosen up. Ah dunnae kinn(know) hoo it was wi’ th’ Sinners but if we’re daein’ thes ye gotta gie yer jobby(shit) together.”
“Maybe I just need more of your woman if you wanna go there. Show her a real man and not a little boy. You just follow my lead.”

Harry gives Isaiah a nice solid shove. Not something that was too pleasant for Isaiah himself to take, but he was not about to stoop down to the level of a physical fight. Level headed thinking was the way to go here.

“That’s it, aam boak(sick) ay thes attitude ay yoors! An’ ye lae mah hen(woman) it(out) ay thes punk.”
“Geez, chill man. Take a joke. Kill the Irish attitude.”
“Aam scottish ye prick!”
“I.. I know. Again.. it was a joke. Damn you’re dumber than you look.”
“Ah hate ye… dunnae fek up again.”

That was something that he could agree to because they had to nail everything in that ring. Be prepared, but with added violence. Weapons and all. Life was going to come flashing fast just like their chances at grabbing gold if they didn’t get it together. Luckily when they got back in the ring everything went way more smoothly. Even though time was running down, Isaiah needed to take a break. They sat on the side of the ring in silence drinking from their water bottles before breaking the silence.

“So what’s the plan here Hampty? Are we going to overcome Paragon?”
“Yoo’re damn reit. As much as Ah dislike ye… TJ gits oan mah nerves mair. Ah failed tae become warld champion an’ huvnae hud a title shot since. Thes is mah moment tae become a champion. Besides havin’ a title when Ah propose tae Terra oan th’ next chaos will probably boost mah chances ay a och aye.(Yes)”

Harry laughed only for a second then stopped himself realizing the reveal of private information.

“Well in that case to make sure that ring gets on that finger we need to get it together. Put aside the dumb stuff we have going on and focus on this match. Kyra is a threat whether we wanna think so or not. I know you and TJ have a history but forget all that. I’ll at least do you that big of a favor. It’s sort of romantic.”
“Swatch(look). Aam fur whatever helps up donner(walk) it ay thaur tag team champions. Sam willin’ tae pit beef aside tae dae it.”
“Great. Now from what I know, this is Kyra’s element. She has all the experience with this and is our biggest threat.”
“Sae ‘en we wear ‘er doon together. While keepin’ an yak(eye) oan TJ. Ah ken(know) his style better sae I’ll dae mah best tae keep heem at bay when needed.”
“What’s the deal with you and him anyways?”
“He was mah best mukker.(friend) when Ah cam intae Carnage. Believe it ur nae thaur was a hierarchy. Huir uv a high skale(school) style ay cliques an’ friends. But TJ hung it wi’ me. We trained together e’en tauld oorselves a body(one) day we’d be tag champions. ‘en Paragon cam aroond… took heem in… an’ slowly he began tae resent me, especially when Ah got wi’ Terra.”
“Then I say let’s break his freaking neck and show him that you dont turn your back on people who stuck it out through you. Kyra is already a jacked up mess. I mean, it wont be hard to get under her skin. Shes playing all these mind games now with us but two can play that game as well. She wants to try and get you not to trust me, like I have a hidden agenda. At the end of the day I want the same thing that you do no matter what we have to do to get it.”
“Nah… let’s break his whole damn body! In fact let’s make sure Paragon ken(know) they’re nae longer th’ top dogs. Kyra an’ TJ main(need to) be grinded intae doost. An’ th’ bonus is we donner(walk) it wi’ some championships.”
“Then what do you say partner as long as you stop listening to what they are trying to tell you and have my back I can do the same in return.”

Isaiah extends his hand to a very skeptical Harry.

“You gonna shake my hand or not?”
“Braw(fine). But thes is th’ only time aam trustin’ ye. Dornt make me regrit it.”

Harry grasps Isaiah’s hand and shakes it firmly. The two share a smirk and get back to work.