“How are you doin, Lass?”

“I’m okay. Why, what’s wrong?”

Rogan chuckled and shook his head as Lucy glanced up from her phone, looking around the bar before settling her gaze on him. She sighed upon seeing the bemused expression on his face and laid the phone down on the table in front of her.

“There isn’t a thing wrong, Lucy. You just haven’t been all here lately, but I think you know that, yeah?”

She did.

Lucy knew she’d been allowing her mind to wander a bit too much lately. Since coming home from Synergy, she’d been wracking her brain, trying to figure out a way to fix… Just fix.

“You know you can’t fix what happened… Don’t you?”

Rogan asked after a few moments of continued silence on Lucy’s part. But Lucy, as gracious and kind as she can be – she can be just as stubborn as the Dark Man, even more so at times. And that was a scary thought.

Lucy sighed and shrugged her shoulders as she sat back in the chair and turned her attention out the window, watching the waves crash upon the gulf shore. Many find it relaxing to listen and take in the sights and sounds of the beach – Lucy herself included – except at this moment, it’s almost as if the waves churning outside are only serving to intensify the whirlwind of feelings within.

“I know I can’t fix it. I also know that Matt had that shit coming to him. But…”

Her voice trailed off when she turned her head and watched Rogan as he picked up where he’d left off moments ago, stocking the soon-to-be-open bar. They still had a good many things to do before they opened the doors, and Lucy was supposed to be helping him – Instead she sat idly by, feeling useless even though that in of itself was a problem that she could fix.

“But he’s better than that, I know.”

Rogan finished her thought as he worked, and Lucy thought she heard a bit of annoyance in the Dark Man’s voice but she chalked it up as her paranoid mind playing tricks on her. Lucy brought herself to her feet and began walking towards him, and that’s when he glanced up at her, an almost cold look in his eyes.

“But did you ever stop to think that maybe he isn’t?”

His question caught her off-guard.

Not that it was wrong, she just didn’t expect it from him. The same man who forgave the man who’d broken his ankle simply to get into Lucy’s head all those years ago. The most easy-going and calm person Lucy knew… Rogan MacLean doesn’t just assume the worst of someone, even if he’s smashed in the face with it over and over again.

But then again, maybe that assessment isn’t entirely true either.

We all see people through our own lenses, after all.

Lucy bit her lip as she rounded the bar and stopped beside Rogan, wrapping one of her arms around his and laying her head on his shoulder.

“Maybe momentarily. I don’t know.”

And that moment was the one that immediately followed the moment in which she tried to blame herself for what had happened. Maybe she placed too much pressure on his shoulders.. Expectations that weighed him down until he finally snapped. Maybe what she’d done to him years ago, maybe she was the reason for his trust issues.

Maybe, maybe, maybe.

And then she stopped herself from falling down that rabbit hole of self destruction and for a fleeting moment she thought that Joe may not be better than what he’d done. Maybe that person was simply who he really was.

That’s an awful lot of maybes for such a simple problem.

Welcome to how Lucy Wylde’s mind works.

“If you want my advice, Lass… Let it be. What’s between Joe and Knox is between Joe and Knox. If they figure it out, great. If they don’t, you don’t need to worry that pretty little head about it. I know you care…”

Rogan’s voice trailed off as he pulled a wayward strand of blonde hair out of Lucy’s face, drawing her eyes up to his.

“…But don’t let that get in the way of you. Help if you can, sure. But from where I’m standin’, it doesn’t look like Joe needs any help.”

“You’re right.”

Lucy replied, smiling up at him – even if he knew immediately that it wasn’t a true smile. She nodded her head, pulling away from Rogan and tucked her phone up under the bar for safe keeping.

“And we’ve got a bar to finish. So, I think I’m gonna head out back and make sure all of that is good… Do you need anything here before I go?”

She motioned around the room as she grabbed the door to the backyard and the makeshift ‘waystation’. It wasn’t an area of the bar that most patrons would see, except those explicitly invited by the Dark Man himself, but Lucy wanted it all to be perfect regardless.

Rogan shook his head.

“Just you, Lass. Just you.”

Lucy blushed and pushed the door open.

“Then I’ll make sure to be right back, hmm?”

“I’m gonna hold you to that.”

Rogan replied as Lucy stepped through the door and let it close softly behind her, stopping to lean back against it and let the sunshine warm her for just a moment before she got to work.

And when she opened her eyes, she saw everything as it had been since she’d overseen the installation of the logs and fire ring, not to mention the white tents that lined the tall fence behind the circle.

Amid the turmoil in her mind, she still found solace and happiness in the fact that this place even exists, and that Rogan loves it so much. Seeing him here, engaged in finishing the preparations and putting his touch to everything, it just makes her feel good to have done something right.

Something meaningful.

Something she could fix.

Lucy sighed and moved around the circle, straightening up the pillows that lay behind the logs and dusting the sand away from where people would be eventually sitting – even though the next strong breeze would quickly undo it.

Truth be told, there wasn’t really anything that needed to be done out here – Lucy just wanted a moment of complete silence to really chew on what Rogan had said, and to get her mind right before she let it go and moved on.

But that nagging voice in the back of her mind kept asking if she could really do that… If she could really let it go, leave it alone… Let whatever happens, happen and live her own life without trying to fix everything…

As she cleaned, she stepped in front of one of the tents and–

 

“Did you ever stop to think that maybe he isn’t?”

Lucy’s eyes shot open, only to find that she wasn’t where she should have been. Instead, it was dark. It was rainy, and the question that Rogan had asked her, well, this time it didn’t come from his lips.

In fact, as she looked around her, the question seemingly didn’t come from anyone. She was alone, wherever this was.

Just a minute ago, she was in Gulf Shores Alabama and Rogan was feet away from her, tending to his bar. She’d only gone outside to tidy up… How’d she wind up here?

And better yet…

“Where am I…”

Lucy whispered to herself, quickly bringing herself up onto her feet and looking around her just as it started to rain. God only knew what lay beyond the limits of her vision, but something told her she wasn’t going to be happy when she found out.

Rogan had told her some of the things he’d done in his numerous and varying travels. Once upon a time she wouldn’t have minded accompanying him to one of the many universes that reside amid the one they call home. That was, as they say, the past… And this… well, this isn’t that.

Lucy glanced down just enough to realize that she was also no longer wearing the jeans and t-shirt she’d been wearing before. In this.. Whatever this was.. She was draped in a baggy jumpsuit, she couldn’t quite make out the color in the darkness, and when she went to take her first steps – she realized that around her ankle was a ball and chain.

“Maybe I should rephrase..”

Now this time she knew for a fact that the voice she’d just heard wasn’t in her head.

“Who’s there?”

The rain picked up as Lucy turned around, coming face to face with a familiar face.

“How disappointing that you don’t even recognize my voice anymore.”

“Seb?”

“The one and only.”

He stepped further out of the darkness, and immediately Lucy knew this wasn’t her Sebastian. His appearance wasn’t nearly as polished and debonair as it usually is. He had a lengthy beard, and his hair was much longer as well. But he still walked with the same air about him as her Seb did, that unchecked confidence and swagger that was so very Sebastian. And when he got close enough to her, he stopped and clicked his tongue, shaking his head at her.

“Now, if I may finish my thought without you rudely interrupting me.. I feel like the correct question to ask would be not if you’ve stopped to think that maybe he isn’t… But if you’ve paused to realize that maybe you aren’t?”

Lucy shook her own head.

“I.. I don’t understand..”

Seb sighed.

“Of course you don’t. And that is why you’re here, dear Lucy.  It always seems to take an unnatural amount of time for you to fully comprehend things…”

“And what is here, exactly?”

Before he could answer her, another voice yelled out from the darkness.

“COME ON! Let’s get outta here!”

Seb nodded his head turned towards the sound of the stranger’s voice.

“On my way!”

“Where are you going?”

Seb chuckled.

“My, my.. You’re full of questions aren’t you? And because I’m your friend, I will do my best to tell you as much as I can before I leave you here.”

Lucy opened her mouth to say something but Seb raised a finger to stop her.

“Tsk. The more you say, the less I can say. Now where was I? Lucy, you’ve been exiled. You’re to live out the rest of your days here, alone.. That is, unless you can find your way back.”

Lucy shook her head.

“But this isn’t–”

“I know.”

Sebastian smiled.

“That’s precisely the point. But on that note, I must take my leave of you. You know how it is, things to do..”

Lucy just stood there and watched him turn and walk away.

“Wait a minute, Seb!”

She heard him stop and she took that as her opportunity to follow him into the darkness. She found him moments later, standing there with his arms crossed, an impatient look on his face.

“Please… Just tell me what I did to end up here. I don’t even know how to fix this and get back to–”

Again, Seb cut her off as further yelling could be heard from Seb’s ride.

“That’s the thing, Lucy. You have to figure it out for yourself, and judging by what you just said, it’s going to be a while before you do.”

With a shrug of his shoulders, Seb again turned away and left Lucy alone. She stood there and listened to the distant talking until it slowly faded away and she was surrounded by complete silence.

So she did the only thing she could do – she thought about her own words, and how any of them could give her a clue as to how she ended up here…

 

I won’t lie, I wasn’t expecting you to be my next challenger, Avenger.

Then again, judging by your twitter activity over the last week or so, I don’t think you were expecting it either. So either you have friends who really aren’t your friends.. Or you have friends who know your worth better than you do.

Either way, it’s not a good look when instead of accepting what’s about to happen, you just keep doubling down on not being the one to challenge me to this match. It happened. The match was booked, and we’re gonna be fighting in a few days time. Might as well buckle up and accept your fate, you know?

I’m not entirely sure how to approach this myself, though.

For me, this is just another challenge. One that I haven’t faced, against someone… Possibly one of the very few who might be even more virtuous and decent than I am. Feel free to take what I say with a grain of salt, because not everyone will agree with me on this, and I guess I wouldn’t blame them because I’ve not always been the best of people.

You, however.. Seem to be good to a fault.

And I guess that’s where my problem lies.

I don’t dislike you. I don’t like you. You’re just kind of… there for me, you know? I don’t mean that as a slight towards you though. It’s just, we’ve never truly crossed paths and I guess it’s about time that happens.

I mean, you’ve beaten one of my closest friends for the Conquest title. It’s obvious that you’re not the joke that many others wish to see you as.

And I’ve never been one to underestimate anyone… Well, except Konrad, but then again, Konrad kind of deserves it just for being the asshole he is, but I digress. The point is, you’re obviously good at what you do, and I have no intentions to doubt that you could walk out of Keeper of the Keys with my Chaos title.

But as much as I don’t know about you…

How much do you know about me?

 

Lucy wasn’t sure how much time had passed, only that after a time the sun slowly began to rise over the horizon, finally illuminating the small island she found herself on. All too quickly she realized she had literally nothing, no food, no shelter.. But that was the point, wasn’t it?

Apparently she wasn’t supposed to survive long.

Luckily, the rain had stopped but it left her soaked to the bone and shivering, waiting until the sun finally came up to hopefully warm her up enough so that she could focus on finding her way back to the Waystation before Rogan realized she was gone.

Not to say she hasn’t spent nearly every moment since Seb left thinking about what brought her to this island.

“How do I fix this…”

She repeated herself again and again as she watched the waves crashing on the shore. Once again, the waves weren’t relaxing to her.. They only served to fuel her anxiety and the need to figure this out.

“How do I–”

She was interrupted by a sudden thud and a loud, guttural yell that jolted her out of her thoughts and back up to her feet. She turned around and moved in the direction of the noise, and almost immediately saw the source of it in the distance. A large opposing figure was stalking around on the other side of the small island, laying waste to everything it came into contact with, which admittedly wasn’t much – the island was sparse in terms of trees and vegetation, after all.

Lucy took care as she approached, unsure of whether she was going to be met with a friend, or a foe but as she got closer, the figure in front of her became more and more familiar.

“Joe?”

He whipped around at the sound of her voice, his eyes wide and crazy, his breathing heavy as he stared right through her.

“What are you doing here?”

“I don’t know, Luce.. Why don’t you tell me?”

His tone was accusatory, and his voice dripped with sarcasm.

“I don’t know.”

Lucy replied, her own defeat lacing her voice. First Seb, and now Joe. It didn’t make any sense.

“But you’re not the Joe I know.”

This Joe scoffed.

“Eh, close enough to the real thing.”

“I don’t understand any of this…”

Lucy said to no one in particular, shaking her head in disgust. It was frustrating. It felt like all the clues were here, but she just wasn’t picking up on it. And furthermore, it seemed that everyone she came into contact with knew exactly what she needed to know, but they weren’t giving it up.

“You’re stubborn. It’s no surprise you’re not getting it.”

Joe spat back, his own look of disgust etched onto his features.

“I was upset after Synergy.. After you…”

“Knocked that ignorant asshole down a few pegs? Yeah, I can see why you’d be upset about that.”

Again with the sarcasm.

“…I just, I know deep down that you’re–”

“That I’m better than that. Yeah, yeah.. As many times as you’ve said it, one would believe that would have just fixed everything that’s wrong with me, Lucy. But it didn’t. It won’t.”

Lucy could feel her cheeks burning as she watched him, wondering if he was going to come at her next.

“So.. I did put too much pressure on you.”

Joe laughed, and it surprised Lucy so much that she took a few steps backwards.

“No, Lucy.. You try and you try to fix me. You try to fix everything. But you know what the kicker is? You want to be the hero, you want to fix this broken, piece of shit friendship… yet you couldn’t even stick around to try and fix what was wrong with us.”

“I..”

She began, but she honestly didn’t have a response for that. It was almost like getting kicked in the gut as quickly as the breath left her body.

As she watched him, slowly his breathing lessened and it seemed as if the big man was calming down. Finally, he let out a sigh and shook his head as he looked away from her gaze.

“You want to know why you’re here. There it is. Take it however you will, but what happens with me, or Knox.. or anyone for that matter… It’s none of your business… Not anymore.”

 

I know you fancy yourself a hero, Avenger.

I can get behind that. Hell, once upon a time I thought I could be the hero too. Always trying to do good by people, trying to treat them fairly and do what I thought was the right thing to do. I mean, I’d be kidding if I said that I wasn’t still that way, to a point.

But… and there’s always a but… It comes with a price.

The bill, it always comes due. And I know you’ve dealt with it too, but not everyone is as decent and as good as you are and you wind up paying the price more often than not. What is that price?

Oh come on, you know what it is.. You doubt yourself. You question what you believe in. You wonder if any of it is worth it.

And in the darkest of times, it really doesn’t feel like anything you do means anything. Something tells me you aren’t the type to actually say that outloud, but you know it’s true.

And what better way to quiet that voice in the back of your head than coming out there at Keeper of the Keys and going up against someone who at least understands why you are what you are, and why you do what you do… Someone who won’t cheat you. Someone who won’t undersell you like everyone else around here would.

But don’t mistake my understanding for weakness, Avenger.

I’m going to do what it takes to keep this belt. Whether that’s by making you bleed, or breaking you in ways you haven’t yet been broken. I don’t do it out of malice or hatred.. I do it because someone I care about entrusted me with this belt, and while I may not have understood why he did that at first…

I know now that it’s because I’ve got everything I need to do great things with this belt too. So what kind of legacy do I want to leave behind when people look back on Lucy Wylde’s second run with the Chaos championship?

That’s easy.

I want to leave a legacy stained with blood, sweat and tears… I want to make sure that no one can ever say that Lucy Wylde was good, but she wasn’t great… That she wasn’t born for Chaos.

I’m done limiting myself.

Many have regarded me as one of the best around. I’ve never played into that much because it’s never been my style. But let me remind you, they’ve said that about Lucy Wylde, she who shied away from the blood and the chaos.

What do you think is gonna happen now that I’m embracing it all?

 

And just like that, Joe was gone.

It startled her, but she also felt a huge sense of relief, not having his big angry eyes staring a hole through her soul. Telling her uncomfortable truths about who she is, and has always been as a person.

She didn’t like it, but she accepted it nonetheless.

It boiled down to her moral compass.

It boiled down to her incessant need to fix.

“Hey, Lass…”

Joe was gone, but a familiar voice drifted into her ears and she looked up from her hands to see the Dark Man himself, smiling softly down at her from where she sat on the beach.

“Rogan?”

“Aye.”

But not only did he look familiar, he felt familiar too. Lucy knew the Seb she met and the Joe she met weren’t the men she knew in her world… But this one?

“Is it you?”

Rogan nodded his head.

“Aye.”

“My you?”

Again, the Dark Man nodded. Lucy was in disbelief.

“But.. How?”

Rogan chuckled.

“You don’t know me well enough by now to know that if I can find you, I will?”

It was Lucy this time that nodded her head and looked away, her cheeks pink with embarrassment.

“It’s just.. I don’t even know how I ended up here. But..”

Her voice trailed off as she glanced back up at Rogan, who nodded as if he already knew everything she was going to say. Lucy took one look at him and chuckled, albeit humorlessly.

“Let me guess, you’re not surprised.”

Rogan shrugged his shoulders and moved around Lucy, coming to sit down beside her.

“Not entirely, no. But sometimes things happen a certain way for a reason.”

Lucy sighed.

“You were right. But it sucks. I hate it.”

Rogan wrapped an arm around her and squeezed.

“I know you do. You’re a good person, Lucy. Good people want to help other people. There’s nothing wrong with that, except when it takes away from how you feel about yourself in the times that you can’t fix it.”

“Yeah..”

Lucy laid her head on his shoulder and let the sounds of the water take over for a while. Rogan was content to sit there with her as long as she needed before she finally glanced over at him and sighed again.

“I’ve fucked so much up that I want to fix things just to make up for the shit things I’ve done. I know that’s wrong.”

“What’s wrong is tearing yourself down for not being able to fix someone elses problems. It’s their problem for a reason, Lass. Helping isn’t bad, but neglecting yourself to do so.. It doesn’t do anything for you.”

“You’re right. And I actually mean it this time.”

Lucy smirked as Rogan looked at her wide-eyed.

“You didn’t believe me before?!”

“Are you shocked?”

Rogan laughed.

“Not entirely. But come on, let’s get you out of your self-inflicted imprisonment, yeah?”

Lucy nodded her head as Rogan stood and reached out to pull her back to her feet.

“When you put it like that, it’s even more embarrassing.”

“Nah. Nothing to be embarrassed about, Lass. There’s no light without the darkness, you know?”

He takes her hand and they begin walking down the shore. After a few moments, Lucy squeezes his hand, drawing the Dark Man’s attention.

“Thank you… for always helping me find my way back…”

“Anytime. Is ceol mo chroí thú.”

Lucy smiled.

“I love you too.”

 

Nothing good for you, I can assure you.

But then again, I think this fight is going to end with both of us nursing more than a few wounds.

Let me ask you one more thing, Avenger. Why do you want to win? Why do you want the Chaos title? I’m sure any reason you’re going to give me is going to be sugary sweet and nauseatingly good-hearted. And I respect it.

I really do.

However, there comes a point in time when you’ve gotta realize that you can’t be a hero for everyone, right? You might want to win to be an example to others, to show people that you don’t have to be a bad guy to get anywhere in life. And that in of itself isn’t a bad thing.

It’s not.

It’s just… Not everyone wants that. Not everyone wants to be inspired by you. Not everyone needs to see an example in order to believe they can succeed. Maybe this doesn’t make a whole hell of a lot of sense to you right now, and that’s okay. It didn’t make sense to me up until a few days ago either.

I’ve spent years trying to be someone that other people could look up to.

Thought I did a damn good job of it too.

But I can’t even begin to describe to you how much it pained me when I couldn’t be everything that I thought people needed me to be.

As I stand here before you, ready to fight.. I can tell you that I’m in it for myself. I’m in it to be an example for ME, to show ME that I can do this better than just about anyone. I can’t control how others see me. I can’t fix everything and show them what they need to see in order to feel better about themselves.

And even if I could?

I mean, I would guess I have at some point in my life, but at the end of the day it’s only temporary.

But even if I could… Lucy has to inspire Lucy. Lucy has to fix Lucy and show Lucy that she can do everything she sets her mind to.

So that’s what this is, Avenger.

I only speak the truth here, at least the truth how I see it. Take from it what you will, but I’m not doing this to help you.. I’m just telling you the fact of the matter here, and the fact that there’s no fate but what you make.. And sometimes somethings just can’t be saved…

And on Monday, the thing that can’t be saved might just be you.

See you soon.