Andrew Watts. 

You’ve got quite the mouth on you, don’t you?  All you seem to wanna talk about is how you and your merry band of “Sinners” are taking over Carnage Wrestling and how you’re going to push Paragon out of existence.  I’ll give you credit where credit is due, you beat Eli and you beat Jeff.  You came out and you won against two members of Paragon.  You did exactly what you said you were going to do.

Nice work buddy.  You want a cookie?

Or did Nova take care of that already?  

 Nevermind.  I don’t really care.  But your whole tirade against Paragon has got me thinking… You really do think you did something great by winning against Jeff and Eli in the past couple of months after losing in that Tag Team Gauntlet match against Jeff and TJ at Monarchy of Anarchy.  Wasn’t it a couple of weeks ago you said, and I quote:

“White Tiger, you thought that you had me. You thought because when you and your little hand holding buddy Adams were able to get a quick win over Nova and me, you would easily prance into the ring and take a victory over me…

Wrong.”

Hmmm… I don’t know.  It seems an awful lot like you’re throwing your girlfriend under the bus.  Maybe I’m wrong.  Or maybe you’ll say that I’m wrong because you certainly don’t wanna get on the wrong side of your little dick sucker, do you?  She was the one that lost that match for you, isn’t she?  If it were you and anyone else, maybe you’d of come out of MOA with those tag titles instead of Paragon.. Right?  I mean that’s kinda what you’re getting at, isn’t it?  And that’s really why you hate Paragon, isn’t it?  That’s why you’ve made it your fucked up life mission to remove us one by one until Paragon is no more and the “Sinners” can reign supreme over Carnage Wrestling…

Because you lost one match.  In your debut nonetheless… to Paragon. 

Honestly, I don’t know why I expected better from you, Andrew.  From any of you, really.  Losing is a part of this life, and I’ve gotta say.. If you can’t accept that then maybe you should go back into obscurity where you don’t have to worry about those potential blows to your fragile little ego.  Don’t worry though, sweetie.. I know you can come at me and you can say an awful lot of shit about my own win/loss record and how I’m more than likely the biggest loser in Paragon. 

Please do, Andrew. 

Please run your mouth some more.  Inflate that ego of yours just a little bigger.   Shove your cock down Nova’s throat just a little harder.   Whatever you need to do to get ready for a fight with me, because I can promise you…

It’s not gonna be a cake-walk, motherfucker.

 

Date September 20th 2018 / Time 12:14AM / Status Not Recording
Location Jack’s Mansion – Las Vegas, Nevada

DING!

Rolling over in bed, I open my eyes just enough to see the flashing green light on my phone – indicating a new text message. Who in the fuck is texting me this late at night?

I lift my head up, turning around to glance back at Jack – making sure it hasn’t woken him up… except just like every other night lately, I realize that he’s not there and my heart sinks a little in my chest.

I miss him.

I’m not sure why I even came back here after Hawaii but I honestly didn’t want to go back to Baltimore. I suppose I hoped he’d come back here and things would be okay again. Boy was I wrong.

DING!

Hearing the phone go off again, I roll my eyes and turn my focus back to the phone, grabbing it off the nightstand and unlocking it.

DING!

“Oh shut the fuck up already… Jesus Christ…”

I mutter to myself as the screen comes on to reveal three–

DING!

Make that four new text messages from my ex-husband, JD. I shake my head and sit up in the bed, wondering if I should even bother opening the messages. Adina is here in Vegas with me, so I know he’s not contacting me about her… So what in the blue hell could he want at midnight?

Guess I’d better find out, God knows he won’t stop until I respond.

I miss you.

Please come back home Kyra… I’m tired of being here by myself.

I roll my eyes before continuing to scroll. It’s good to know that rehab did absolutely nothing for him and that he’s neck deep in the booze again.

I love you so much. I always have and I always will. You’re everything to me. He can’t give you what I can, baby. He can’t be what you need.

I’m always going to be the perfect man for you.

“Jesus…”

I whisper, reading those messages another time before locking the phone and placing it back onto the nightstand. He’ll sleep it off and he’ll wake up tomorrow with no knowledge of sending those drunken messages. He’ll go back to being the dickhead that I divorced in no time at all.

I’ve seen and experienced this cycle more than once, after all.

I lay back down and roll over, staring at the empty bed beside me. It’s been lonely. It’s been quiet and I’m not sure I exactly feel right being here without him. Amber told me it was fine and that her father would want me to feel at home here but it’s just not the same without him.

I should have just taken baby girl back to Baltimore. I don’t know why I stick around places where I’m not exactly wanted or needed… hoping that that’ll change at some point, miraculously.. yet it never does.

But I’m here, I guess because when or if he comes back, I want him to know that I’m here for him. That I’m in his corner and I support him.

DING!

I decide to ignore the new message, sliding closer to Jack’s side of the bed and grabbing his pillow, taking in his scent as I try to relax but when another two messages come in within the next minute – I roll back over, grabbing the phone angrily and reading over the next three entries into JD Mohr’s drunken confessional.

If you wouldn’t have left, we could have figured this all out like we always have. Didn’t even give me a chance to change.

Not even going to respond, huh? Just like you, Kyra. Fucking coward bitch. That’s all you are. Taking MY kid and running away is all you could ever do. Abandon me and the boys like the fucking CUNT that you are.

I raise my eyebrows at that last message, shaking my head.

FINE! You’ll see. I’m not letting you take Adina like she took the boys, bitch. Fuck you!

And that’s why I left. Didn’t give him the chance to change, my ass. Gave him chance after chance after motherfucking chance. There’s only so much I could do before I gave into the misery and I fucking left. But to compare me to Trinity? His first ex wife who literally kidnapped his twin boys and disappeared… SHE didn’t give him a chance. She denied him of his children for YEARS before he finally found them.

I’ve done nothing of the sort. I’ve made sure he gets to see his kid. She spends one week with me, and one week with him. I’ve never denied him that. I admit, it’s hard reading these messages knowing that I’ve gotta meet with him in a few days to give her back to him knowing that he could very well do this kind of shit while she’s in the house with him, but I hold out hope that he’s not that big of an idiot. There’s some semblance of a good man deep down inside of him somewhere under the wanna-be macho guy that tries to love up on me in one breath and bitch me out in the next. Or how about dick slinging with Jack and Alessandro in twitter and getting his ass handed to him in no time flat?

Good lord.

I’m tempted to respond, but I know it’ll only make things worse so I turn the ringer on the phone off and I lay back down to try and get some sleep.

He won’t remember any of this tomorrow anyway.

 

Date September 23rd 2018 / Time 3:45PM / Status Not Recording
Location Pensacola International Airport – Pensacola, Florida

“You said you’d be here at two.”

JD says as he walks up to baby girl and I as I lug her and her bag out of the baggage claim area. I turn around, greeting him with a fake ass smile as Adina reaches out to her Daddy, struggling against my grip on her – trying to get to him by any means possible. He grins and takes our daughter from me, giving her a quick kiss as I tossed her bag down at his feet, the smile fallen from my lips as quickly as I painted it there.

“Well I do apologize, John but I can’t control the weather.”

“Yeah.. well.”

He replies, letting his voice trail off when he glances around Adina at me – his own smile slowly fading off of his face. I sigh and shake my head.

“Well what? You think I was just fucking around with Jack and that’s why I had to get a later flight?”

He shrugs his shoulders and turns his attention back to the little girl in his arms. I feel myself getting angrier by the second, especially as I think about the drunken texts from a few nights ago and seeing once again how little he must think of me. If anything, I’ve been far nicer than I should have been through the divorce. Never asked for child support. Never wanted a red cent from him after the fact, whether or not he wants to take credit for ‘making me rich’ or whatever stupid shit he said before.

The only reason I’m playing nice is for our daughter. I’m not going to put her through any more than she’s already been through with her fucked up parents. If that means dealing with JD Mohr’s bullshit for the next almost fourteen years, then so be it.

“Don’t pull that shit with me, John Dustin.”

I say quietly, trying to keep my tone calm.

“You said it. Not me.”

“You didn’t say much of anything, did you? Look, I’m sorry that you don’t like Jack and I’m sorry that you don’t like me spending so much time in Vegas with him and his daughter but it’s my life and our daughter is well taken care of when she’s with me, it’s funny how when we were together you told me what a great mother I was but now suddenly you wanna paint me as this piece of shit that doesn’t care for her at all. I’m the same woman, John. I’m just not with you anymore.”

He sets his jaw and shakes his head.

“Yeah. Sure. Well, as much as I’d love to stand in the middle of the airport with my ex wife, I’d like to get my daughter home so we can spend some time together before she goes to bed. Oh, and good luck in your match next week..”

He replies, eyeing me up again before picking up Adina’s bag and walking away without letting me say goodbye to her before he did. I start following him, but I stop when I see her so engrossed in him and honestly, I don’t want to upset her just because her mommy wants to be a petty bitch.

I’ll see her again soon… After We are Relentless.

After everything goes back to normal.. With Jack, me.. Whatever this is going on with JD.. everything.

 

Date September 28th 2018 / Time 1:04PM / Status Not Recording
Location Jack’s Mansion – Las Vegas, Nevada

“Kyra? Kyra I’m glad I got a hold of you.”

“What’s going on? You said it was urgent.”

I step out onto the back deck, closing the door behind me. My hearts beating through my chest, wondering what all of this is about. My lawyer left me an urgent voicemail just a little while ago, needing to talk to me. He didn’t sound happy at all.

“It is. I just got a formal letter from John’s lawyer, I’m sure you got something similar. You haven’t checked your mail?”

I sigh and move to the edge of the deck, looking out on the scenery around Jack’s house.

“I’m in Vegas at the moment.. What’s going on, Tim?”

But all I get back is silence. Jesus, if I wanted to talk to myself I’d just walk back in the house and do..well, just about anything. It’s not like there’s anyone here to really talk to. Baby girl is gone and Amber’s here, but I don’t know.. She and I get along fine, I just get the hint that she knows something that I don’t and it frustrates the shit out of me. Guess I shouldn’t be surprised though.. If she does know something about Jack’s whereabouts over the last nearly two weeks, obviously there’s a reason for it and I’m not in the loop enough to know.

The longer Tim doesn’t say anything, the more I feel my chest tightening.

“Tim? Jesus Christ what the fuck is going–”

“John is taking you to court for full custody of Adina.”

My jaw drops open and I stagger backwards a few steps, his words hitting my like a ton of bricks. I catch myself on one of the chairs and I lower myself onto it, replaying his words in my head again and again. He can’t be serious.

He can’t be.

That’s ridiculous. Why would John want to take her away from me?

“I.. I.. You can’t be serious.”

“Why would I kid about something like this?  We need to nip this in the bud, Kyra. Talk to him, figure it out.”

I hear him speaking, but I can’t respond. I.. I just don’t have the words right now.

“Kyra? Are you listening to me? We can’t let this go to court.”

I shake my head and let the phone fall out of my hand, hearing his voice still talking as it hits the ground beside my foot. My eyes, the corners prickling with tears as I stand back up, pacing around the deck.

He’s trying to take her from me…

This can’t be.

“I’ve gotta be dreaming….”

I mutter to myself, a single, scorching hot tear freeing itself from my eye and sliding down my cheek. How in the hell could he do this?

“Hey, Kyra?”

Slowly I turn around to see Amber, Jack’s daughter standing in the doorway leading out to the deck. I reach up and wipe my face, as she looks on.

“You okay?”

I nod my head and cough.

“Oh me? Yeah. I’m good. Fine. Is everything alright? Is Jack–”

She shakes her head.

“Oh, no.. He’s, well… you know. I just wanted to let you know that I fixed some food if you wanted any.”

I force a smile on my face and nod, trying not to show the pain of that knife lodged deep in my back or of my heart being ripped from my chest.

“Sure. Sure.. Thanks. I’ll be in in a sec.”

Her eyes narrow on me for a split second before she smiles and closes the door, heading back into the house. I put my hand up to my chest and move back to the chair and sit down. God I wish Jack were here.. I don’t know if I can deal with this by myself.. Not right now..

But he’s got more important things to worry about..

He’s got his daughter and he’s fighting for a world title in a few days and he’s God knows where, doing God knows what.

Ugh, and I’m fighting some loser who has no idea what he’s getting himself into.. But how am I supposed to focus on that when John is trying to take the most important thing in my life away from me? How do I walk into We Are Relentless and do my job when I know what I know now?

What the fuck am I going to do?

 

I ain’t got the best record around here.  A few years ago I’d be pissed off at that.  I’d be livid that I’m not winning, you know.. Kind of like you and that one loss you’ve had since coming here.  But unlike you, I’ve actually grown up.  I’ve grown to understand that wins and losses aren’t the most important thing.  They’re nice.  Shit, they’re fucking great. 

Everyone wants to win.

But not everyone can.

You didn’t at Monarchy of Anarchy.

You won’t again at We Are Relentless.

Not because you can’t.  Not because you aren’t at least somewhat talented, but because I don’t fucking want you to.  I don’t like what you represent, even if I myself represented shit like that a few years ago.  I don’t like that you remind me of a younger me and that really makes me feel like knocking your fucking head off your body.   Probably not the best reasoning for me beating you in a few days at We Are Relentless but who the fuck cares?

All these promos are is a whole lot of ‘I’m better than you”, “You’re not good enough to beat me” and a lot of other cookie cutter bullshit that frankly I’m tired of hearing.

You’re gonna beat me, right Andrew?  You’re going to mop the floor with me simply because I’m Paragon and Paragon is baaaaad…. Right?  This coming from a guy who’s in a group called the ‘Sinners’.  At least I’m here to do something other than circle jerk it with a bunch of other idiots who think they’re God’s gift to wrestling.  Sure, I already know what you’re going to say…

What about White Tiger.. the self proclaimed ‘Legend’ in this business?

What about TJ Adams.. the cocky asshole who thinks his shit don’t stink?

Or Eli Goode.. the one who thinks he’s ‘that damn goode’?

What about THE man, Jack Michaels?  The man who’s been on a mission himself since coming to Carnage.

Maybe in the beginning Paragon’s mission statement here in Carnage wasn’t all that different from yours, Andrew.  I don’t know.  All I know is that right now, aside from a few snafu’s within our happy little family – We don’t look at this business the same way that you do.  We’re here to make it better.  We’re here to show the rest of you assholes that there’s more to it than winning every single match.. So much more.  There’s those fans.  The people who make what we do worth it.. Shitting on them doesn’t do anything good for you, Andrew.  But you’ll find that out sooner or later.

I know I did.

I’m here to be a part of Paragon that makes a difference, even if it’s a small one.  I’m here to show people like you that you’re wrong and that Karma is going to bite you on the ass eventually.  You beat two of my teammates but you’re not beating me at We Are Relentless. 

Even if you do.. You’re not going to break me. 

I refuse to stoop down to your level, Andrew.  I won’t throw a hissy fit if I happen to end up on the losing end of this match.  I’m not a god damned child, after all.  I’m a fucking wrestler and maybe you could take a few lessons from that, you know.  But people like you only learn things the hard way, by getting their asses kicked.  I’m more than happy to help you, sweetie.  I’m more than happy to teach you a few things.

In conclusion, Andrew Watts.  You’ve got a big mouth and I look forward to shutting you the fuck up. 

Show up, take your L like a fucking man and move on with your life, Mmmkay? 

See you Sunday, Bitch.