Date July 30th 2018 / Time 1:21AM / Status Not Recording
Location Grandbar – Chicago, Illinois

No matter how hard I try, I just can’t stop thinking about earlier.. How she came down to ringside when I didn’t want here there. How she interrupted my match with Alan. How she distracted me… how she cost me that match. I can’t believe she’d do something like that.

Then again, yeah.. I sure as hell can.

I knew she was sore at me for throwing in the towel during what should have been our match against Alan and Zane, turned into handicapped match against Alan, turned singles match with an injured Maggie against a prime Alan… But she can be sore at me all she wants. What I did was for her best interests. No matter how upset I was about her going behind my back and getting me taken out of that match – In my mind, I did what was necessary so that she could fight another day.

Stubborn fucking bitch.

But what she did? Coming out there and acting like my fucking coach? Because I haven’t been at this much longer than she has. How fucking dare she.

It’s almost like she did that on purpose…

I look around the bar, starting to wonder who said that until I remember that only I can hear him. I sigh and nod my head, downing the rest of my glass of whiskey before slamming it down on the bar.

Why ignore him anymore? He’s been right about everything.

“Yeah… I think she did…”

I reply a little louder than I had planned, garnering a few looks from the few people that are left in here this early in the morning. I really don’t understand how the kinds of people that end up in these bars think that they of all people can judge someone like me for talking to someone who’s not there.

Please, half of these people probably live in the dumpsters beside the building.

“Probably, Dad.”

The barkeep comes back, just as I finish speaking and gives me a look as I motion for him to refill my glass. He shakes his head and puts the bottle away.

“I think you’ve had enough.”

My chest tightens. I can practically feel my blood boiling within my veins. First Maggie’s bullshit and now this?? I slide down off of the stool, nearly losing my footing as my feet hit the ground for the first time in…

…

I turn around and look at the clock.

Two and a half hours, Lucille.

Two and a half hours. I guess I should have probably gotten up and moved around in that time because now… Now the entire bar is spinning and I don’t think there’s anything I can do to stop it.

Sure there is.

Yeah, right. There is. Except all I want right now is another fucking drink.

I slam my hand down on the bar.

“Don’t you fucking know who I am? Give me another drink you bald, crusty ass old fuck! You should feel privileged that Lucy fucking Wylde has graced your pitiful little establishment with her fucking presence you ungrateful piece of shit!”

“Hey now, you need to chill out! I don’t care who you are, you ain’t going to act like this in my bar.”

I scoff and shake my head.

He’s beneath you. Tell him that he’s beneath you. Tell him that you could make or break his little bar with a snap of your fingers.

Without a thought, I nod my head and lean in towards the barkeep.

“You’re beneath me, old man. I could make this place or break this fucking place with a snap of my fingers… Don’t fucking test me. Just give me another drink.”

He puts his hands on his hips and shakes his head, so I do what any normal, law abiding, common sense person would do… I grab my glass from the bar and I throw it at him – watching it shatter against all the bottles on shelves behind him.

“You’re fucking crazy lady! I’m calling the cops!”

“Why don’t you go right on ahead and do that. I’ll be right here, waiting for them.. And my fucking drink.”

Good girl. Very good… I think you’re ready for the next step, Lucille.

 

Date August 8th 2018 / Time 12:41PM / Status Not Recording
Location The Wylde Residence – New York, New York

You have every right to be angry, Lucille. They simply cannot keep your name off of their lips.

Of course they can’t. I’m the world champion. I’m everything they want to be. Why wouldn’t they constantly try to drag me into every little thing, trying to drag me down with them into their pitiful little pit of mediocrity. Every little thing they say points at me, trying to provoke a response from me. Trying to get me angrier than I already am.

They’re just jealous.

Magdalena included.

Of course she’s included. She might be the Cross-Hemisphere Champion but she’s nowhere near my level when it comes to holding that belt. She’s gotta resort to games and distractions to get what she wants, whereas I can do it without all that fluff and bullshit.

She only wishes that she could be at my level and now, without me to hold her hand the entire way – there’s no fucking way.

I turn around and look across the room at the UGWC World Championship staring back at me from the floor. There’s no way she’s ever getting near this thing, and there’s almost no fucking way she keeps her own belt after Day of Reckoning.

Then again, that doesn’t really matter anymore, does it?

I shrug my shoulders and turn away from the title belt.

“I haven’t made my choice yet.”

You need to. Once you do, a large burden will be taken off of your shoulders.

I sigh and let myself drop to the floor in the living room, sprawling out in the middle of where all my furniture used to be. It’s a big decision. Something I have barely thought about, knowing that I still have one more match.

One.

Just one.

Yes. Your final match. How does it feel to know that, Lucille? How does it feel to know that you’re about to complete your purpose in life and hurt those who have hurt you?

“Relieving.”

They never cared for you. No one has, Lucille. You’ve always been alone and that’s the way it will be until your last breath, you do understand that, don’t you?”

I close my eyes and take a deep breath. Nothing has made me feel more alone than everything that happened with Gabriel, my father, and now Maggie. I know it’s just a matter of time before Joe does something to show me his true nature… Luckily I more than likely won’t be around for that reveal.

Luckily I won’t be around for anything else.

You just need to make your decision, Lucille.

I nod my head and roll over on the floor, placing my arms under my head.

“I will.. I will.”

 

I really wish you people made sense a lot of the time… Because really?

I just don’t fucking get it.

All of your fingers always pointing at me for my lack of so-called ‘joy’ and the fact that I just simply want to be left alone… I’m sincerely sorry that I can’t be like the rest of you, or rather that I don’t want to be like the rest of you with seemingly no life, flicking your clits or your frenulums while watching twitter with bated breath, trying to find someone or something that you can respond to or comment on.  I’m sorry that my life and my dealings are none of your fucking business… 

And I’m really fucking sorry that you’ve got so little of a life that Twitter trolling is where it’s at for you.

As for my match this week.. I’ll be there.

And whatever happens, happens.