I rub my eyes, trying to force myself to stay awake. I slump over slightly, trying to figure out why I’m sitting in the middle of the kitchen at 4:17 in the morning, on my third cup of coffee since I woke up almost two hours ago. It’s not so much that I don’t know what’s keeping me awake… it’s that I don’t know why it’s keeping him awake.

“What the fuck are you doing up?” Kyra presses me as she walks into the kitchen, grabbing the stool directly across the island from mine. “We already went through this when you got jumped. Why are we going through it now?”

“All I can see is those eyes when I close my own. Those cold, blue eyes, they run a chill through my body so harshly that I expect to wake up with frostbite. All I can feel is that… hand. The feeling of that hard, plastic hand still on my scalp. It was a weird feeling, like the caress of a lover who doesn’t actually love you. I know it sounds redundant, but I truly cannot think of any other way to explain it, to myself or any other person, for that matter. This isn’t what I should be dealing with. Shit, this isn’t something that you should be dealing with, either. Yet, here we are; living the dream.”

Kyra was still livid at the entire situation. The night before the Massive Melle, I was attacked from behind by some psysho with chloroform, who decided to drag me to the basement of the arena and leave me there. Kyra keeps telling me that it isn’t affecting her that much, but I’ve noticed little things like her holding my hand more, the fact she watches our daughter more closely, even going out of her way to try and get Chloe to open up more. My wife has never been the super emotional type, so I’ve picked up on all of it.

“Listen, Ken, that bitch gets within arm’s reach and I swear to holy God, I will tear her prosthetic off and shove it so far up her ass, it will take a proctologist to get it out.”

“Kinky,” I deadpan halfheartedly. Humor is my coping mechanism and Kyra knows this. She just doesn’t always appreciate it. This is one of those moments.

“Listen, jackass,” she says as she pulls down a coffee cup of her own. “I already told you that if you don’t take care of Masque, I will, Amber be damned. I know about your promise to Amber. I know you told her you wouldn’t let me get involved. The second that bitch put her hands on my husband and scared the shit out of my daughter, that little agreement didn’t mean nothing to me.”

Ah, Amber Ryan… Kyra’s best friend and one of my biggest rivals. The incident with Masque began when I chose to warn Masque that Amber would be back and when she got back, there would be hell to pay. Unknown to Kyra, who as we speak is grabbing a bottle of Jack Daniels and pouring it into the mug, I had agreed not to let Kyra get involved. To the shock of anyone who has ever met my wife, she wasn’t pleased by that.

“I didn’t make it.”

“Damn it, woman! Amber is afraid of what this woman can do. Amber fucking Bane fucking Ryan is worried about how this woman could hurt you. I don’t care what she does to me. I can take it. But I would die if it ever happened to you.”

“And you think it doesn’t kill me to see it happen to you? Did you ever think about that? No. You only thought of yourself. Let me remind you that last time we fought, who kicked your ass?”

I can’t do this right now. I’m not stupid enough to interrupt. By now, she’s probably made at least three more valid points and at least one that’s total bullshit.

“Are you even fucking listening to me?”

Scratch that. Game on.

“What do you want me to say? What the fuck could I possibly say that I didn’t say in the hotel room the morning I got home? The only thing I wanted at that moment was my family. Yeah, you can call me an asshole. Whatever, I don’t fucking care. But I am the man of this house and it means that I am supposed to protect your ass. It doesn’t mean you aren’t capable of doing it yourself. It means that I took a vow to give you the best life I possibly could and that means trying to stop you from going through any unnecessary bullshit. Okay? This is my fault. I poked the bear. I started this. I was the one who came out because I knew that Mac and Amber were in no condition to deal with that bitch. Maybe it wasn’t my battle to fight. I’ll give you that. Through all the years, all those years I was busy trying to make the world hurt that way I did, there was only one man who stood by my side through all of it. That was Mac. I don’t know if it was the good old boy in him or what. But he saw through my shit, he saw that I was hurting, and he never gave up on me. I owe him, Kyra. So, yeah, I put myself in the line of fire. I did that. It’s on me. But I cannot andWILL NOT allow you to put yourself in harm’s way. Be mad at me all you want. I’m not going to budge on this one.”

“It’s not your fucking choice!” Kyra yells, her eyes narrowing in on mine. “It’s not yours. It’s not hers. You wanna protect me? Fantastic. That means the world to me, it does. But Goddamnit Ken when did protecting me mean taking away my God damned choice? You’re my husband but that don’t give you the right to make those decisions for me! So stand here and tell me how you’re not budging and watch me do what the fuck I want anyway!”

“So, what? I’m supposed to just let you walk in there? I’m not supposed to think about how I would tell Adina that mama got hurt, again? How am I supposed to look myself in the mirror if I let you walk in there, hellbent on whatever the fuck you think you’re going to do? I can’t let you do this. I’m sorry.”

“YOU DON’T GET TO DECIDE THAT FOR ME!” Kyra screams, stepping forward – her eyes narrowing in on mine even further, which I didn’t even know was possible. Her face is so red, I can only imagine a nuclear heat that is the polar opposite of Masque’s arctic chill and her face is only growing redder by the second as her eyes well up with tears. “I spent a fucking lifetime being TOLD what I could and couldn’t do! I spent fucking YEARS being beaten to a pulp for even thinking about doing something different! But I got out of there and I damn sure ain’t going to lose my freedom to choose now.”

She slams her hand down on the counter. Checkmate. She wins. There is nothing I can do but sit there like a scalded puppy. I feel my face droop as though every ounce of fight I had left me in that moment. This goes unnoticed by Kyra, who is going like a runaway train recklessly down the tracks.

“I get that you both wanna protect me. But Goddamnit, when did protecting me mean caging me up and throwing away the key? That’s why I’m here! That’s why I chose the life I did… not to sit here and hide when someone threatens my family! I’m sorry Ken but when it comes down to it… you’ll do anything to protect me.. and I’ll do just as much.. if not more to make sure you and our family are safe.” Her voice is low and gravely as she wipes away an errant tear. “And if you don’t like it? That’s too damn bad because this is my choice. Not yours, and damn sure not Amber’s. I get that you want to help Mac… he’s your brother. You owe him. But what about me? You don’t want me by your side?” She pauses as that realization comes across her face. “What kind of fucked up shit is that?! You don’t want me there? Try and stop me Ken Davison.”

“It’s not that I don’t want you there. I don’t want you to get hurt.” I let out a sigh of defeat. “But you’re right. I didn’t look at it like I was taking your choice away. Knowing full well that this all started between us because I pointed out how you weren’t given those choices, I’d be a bigger asshole than Jack, I mean, I did manage to convincingly take down Armageddon. But, Masque… Masque is a different kind of monster, a scarier kind of monster. She’s the kind of monster that I used to see in the mirror. Perhaps that’s what scares me so much.”

I’m stuck. I don’t know what else to say. In trying to protect my wife, I ended up hurting her. Right now, I feel like the biggest piece of shit on the planet. I mean, I know I’m not, but I feel like it. Right?

Right?

“Now would be a great time to say something.”

“What would you like me to say, Ken? That I’m so sorry and I’ll just stay here like a good little wife and let someone fucking–”

“You know what? NO! Fuck you! Fuck you and fuck me for trying to stop you. If you want to be so headstrong, that’s on you. I know who you are. You are quick to anger. You are reckless.And you’ll charge without looking and end up running straight off the edge of a cliff like Wile. E. fuckin’ Coyote. What happened with Masque and I, I didn’t sign up for that. When you come home to Adina crying because YOU decided to do something stupid, don’t blame me. SOMEONE has to put your well being first when you aren’t smart enough to do it yourself.”

Time stands still. Kyra’s eyes have gone from narrow slits to the widest I have ever seen them. I don’t like this. I truly don’t. In my eyes, this might be worth it if I can keep her away from Masque.

“Go to hell. Do whatever you want. I don’t fucking care anymore.”

I watch as she storms out of the room. I just hope the stomping doesn’t wake Adina up.

“Where the hell do you think you’re going?”

The answer is the sound of the bedroom door slamming. Oh well, we’ll have to hash it out in the morning. At least I was smart enough to buy a comfortable couch…


The cameraman in front of me points to my position. My normal cameraman decided that she didn’t want to see me today, so I’m stuck with a ragtag group of media students trying to get a little extra money for tuition. Some teenager who still hasn’t gotten his braces off counts me down.

“Chuck Rydell, I’m going to be real honest with you, I don’t give a shit who the fuck you are. I am sick and tired of walking around here like a second-class citizen and you’re the one who this is going to fall upon. I am tired of looking like the weaker member of the Baltimore Elite. I am tired of people seeing me on their booking sheet and thinking what an easy time they’re going to have. I gave my all against Lucy Wilde. What did I get for that? Some stupid ass tweet about “I can understand why you’re so revered.“ I am not here to be revered. I’m not here to be the grizzled old veteran that teaches the younger generation and passes the torch along, not to you, not to anyone.”

“It amazes me how little respect I get around here. It amazes me that I don’t walk around here with a chip on my shoulder. Maybe that’s the problem. Maybe I’ve spent too much time showing respect to people and not enough time tearing them down and bringing their delusions of adequacy crashing back down to earth.The entire first year I was here in the Coalition, I was undefeated on pay-per-view. That proves that I’m not some kind of a pushover. What can I do? What can I do about the fact that I have fallen short against Rogan MacLean, Lucy Wilde, and Travis Pierce when I’ve had my opportunities at the Conquest Championship? No disrespect to the three of them, because the three of them are amazing talents, but the fact of the matter is that I am better than they are. The fact of the matter is that The GKD, “Godly” Ken Davison should have beaten them.My wife proved to the world will not always know when she won the Massive Melee.She is going to walk into Keeper of the Keys and she is going to walk away a world champion. But this isn’t about her. This is about me. I need to prove to everyone else that I am a champion with or without a piece of tin glued onto a piece of leather.”

I take a deep breath. I know what I have to do.

“I’m curious to see what approach it is that you take, Chucky. I’m curious to see if you’re going to be that guy who tries to tell me that I’m a mortal man. I’m curious to see if you’re that guy who’s going to throw scripture at me. Or maybe you’re the type that’s going to sit there and tell me that you’re some kind of avenging angel or evil spirit or some sort of Supernatural something that is going to bring me back down to your level. You’re going to try to beat me at my own game and to be honest oh, you were never even a player. This isn’t some fairy tale where you can talk yourself up to be the hero. This is real life. This is real life. People get hurt and people suffer. People like me. who are at the top of the food chain. we don’t care what people like you. all the way down to the bottom, have to say. The lion does not concern itself with the opinion of sheep.”

“For you, the day that “Godly” Ken Davison graced you with his presence in the ring will be the single greatest day of your career. For me, it will be just another Monday. You are insignificant, just like your brother. I know that I’ve beaten him. I just don’t remember it. I somehow doubt that I’ll forget beating you, too.” 

Okay, enough fluff and bullshit.

“I have spent the last year of my life doing everything I could for my wife and my family. I put myself in the Cooperative division because I wanted to do great things with my wife and we succeeded in doing that together. In fact, if we are granted the opportunity that we should have earned by going on our record-setting run, we will not only become two time Cooperative Champions, but we will become the team with the longest cumulative time holding those belts. Right now, that opportunity is not on the table that means that I need to, at least professionally speaking, forget about my wife. What I need to do for the first time here is do things for my Kendamn self.”

“Like, seriously, who the fuck is Chuck Riddell? 

“That’s Chuck Rydell, sir,” the zit-faced teenager with the braces corrects me from behind the camera.

“I’m fully aware of that, numbnuts. But that vaginal blood clot doesn’t deserve my recognition. He’s walking in here because his brother couldn’t cut it? Or maybe he wants to be just like his brother, a failure. The little bit of research I did on this stupid sumbitch, what I found out if he seems to think he’s a bottle of Mountain fucking Dew. I mean, there’s already a wrestling move called The Code Red. What are you going to hit me with a Baja Blast?”

“I have seen things, done things, that people like you wouldn’t believe.I have stalked opponents, leaving calling cards to get into their heads. I have intentionally injured my opponents for no reason than to cause them misery. I even knocked out my rivals wife with a pair of brass knuckles and then tasted her blood, for no other reason than to fuck him. Do you know what it does to a man when he has to look another man in the eyes while being told what his wife smells like, tastes like? Perhaps, that’s the type of man I need to become again. Because those moments have only lived on in my memories, lost in time like tears in the rain.”

“Because of this, I have a competition in me,” I say, hellfire twinkling visibly in my eyes. “I want no one aside from my wife and myself to succeed. I hate most people. I know that if it’s in me, it’s in you, Chucky. It’s human nature. It’s the entire point of our industry. In order for one of us to succeed, another must fail. So, if you think that this has a happy ending for you, you haven’t been paying attention.”

I walk off, leaving the crew confused for a minute before they figure out to cut the feed.