Resolution

“Hello?”

Deep breath.

“Hey.”

“Didn’t expect to hear from you, what’s up? Is something wrong?”

Exasperated sigh.

“Yes… no… Shit, I don’t know. I just needed someone to talk to.”

“What about CJ?”

Extended pause.

“Don’t tell me something else is going on…”

“I just need… I just need you.”

“Well, I’m here, you know that.”

“I was blown away,
What could I say?
It all seemed to make sense.
You’re takin’ away everything
And I can’t do without.”

Lucy Wylde Presents:
“Resolution”

I sigh into the phone, a sense of relief washing over my entire body. It’s nice knowing that someone actually gives a shit about me. It’s nice knowing that there is someone in this world that I can truly reach out to in my time of need.

“I’m glad to hear you say that, JD.”

It’s just a pity that a lot of the time that person isn’t my husband.

“Anytime. What’s going on? How was the show?”

The show. Synergy. CJ and I had barely spent a week at home before coming back here. It was nice to be able to come back home after a wrestling show, to sleep in our own bed and to be comfortable. There’s only so much hotel living that I can stand… and for the last thirteen or fourteen months, that’s all I’ve been doing. It’s about damn time that we can be home.

I just wish home felt as good as I’m making it out to be right now.

“The show was great. We won.”

“I sense there’s a ‘but‘ in there somewhere.”

It’s like he knows me or something.

“You know me too well, JD.”

I hear a soft chuckle come from his mouth, and that brings a small smile to my face.

“Come on, out with it.”

As my mind wanders to the reason for my late night phone call to my brother in law; the smile quickly fades from my lips. The memories of the last few weeks come rushing back into my brain like a tidal wave, tearing up everything in its path.

I sigh again, squeezing my eyes shut as if that action is going to quell the thoughts and the feelings that are ravaging my mind.

“CJ shouldn’t have been fighting.”

“What does that mean?”

“He was in no condition to be out there, not after the attack.”

“Attack?”

How could he not have heard about the attack?

I honestly didn’t think I’d be explaining this entire thing again, damn me for assuming that he’d just know what I’m talking about. I keep forgetting that our world in OWF… our former world was just that.. a world away from JD and Kyra’s world over here.

Besides, what happened to CJ wasn’t exactly broadcasted on the Network…

“After Brawltopia…”

“Congrats on that by the way.”

I roll my eyes.

“Yeah, thanks… doesn’t matter much now anyway.”

I don’t think he meant to stick that knife right back into my barely beating heart, but there it is… and boom – I’m bleeding again.

“Sorry…”

He knows it better than most, he’s a legend in this business after all. JD ‘Bullrush’ Mohr. He’s gone through so much shit in his career that everything I’m going through is probably child’s play to him.

“After Brawltopia, Angel and Redemption attacked CJ in the parking lot. We were walking out of the building and they bum-rushed him and slammed the door in my face… I tried to get out, but they must have blocked the door with something… So I ran around the building to find another exit… but by the time I got out there, they had beaten him so bad that I almost couldn’t recognize him.”

“God damn…”

I can feel the tightening in my chest as I recall that night. I remember the weight of the axe in my hands as I swung it at their heads like a baseball bat. I remember them hightailing it out of that damned parking lot when they saw me. They fled from the scene like criminals – like it was no big deal that they’d just tried to end CJ’s career and possibly even his life. I remember burying that axe in the trunk of that car as they sped off into the night. What I really wanted to do was bury that axe in their skulls. I wanted to kill them, I really did. I remember the blood on my hands as I tried to wipe the blood out of his eyes, my voice shaking as I screamed out into the night, hoping that someone, anyone would hear me and help me..

“Luce?”

His voice jolts me back to reality, and I realize that my cheeks are now wet with tears, and my nose is running.

“I-I’m here…”

I reach out onto the table in front of me and grab a tissue, wiping my eyes and my nose as I continue.

“He.. he almost died. I honestly wasn’t sure if he was going to make it through the night…”

“Why am I just now hearing about this?!”

My heart instantly catches in my chest. He’s right. I never even thought of contacting our families. I never even gave that a passing thought.. but they really can’t blame me right? I mean my husband was nearly killed…

“I’m sorry… I.. I wasn’t exactly in the right frame of mind.”

He sighs.

“No, no. I understand, I can only imagine what you were going through. Is he doing okay now?”

It’s my turn to sigh again.

“Well, he’s okay enough to wrestle a match that he shouldn’t have. He was okay enough to check himself out of the hospital in Poland mere days after and fly himself home without me knowing until he was already here. He was okay enough to avoid any and all medical attention since…”

“Wow.”

“I don’t know sometimes… I try so hard… I wonder sometimes if it’s even worth it.”

I suck in a hard breath. I can’t believe I just said that. He frustrates me, yes. He beyond frustrates me sometimes, but I love him. I just wish he’d think about the shit he does. I wish he’d be a little more considerate of how the people around him are affected by the decisions he makes.

I know that seems selfish, and I hate myself sometimes for feeling that way, but then I think back to the events of this last year and then I come to my senses and realize that I’m not being totally unreasonable.

“I can see wh–”

“But that’s not it.”

“There’s more?”

“I try to see the good in life.
But good things in life are hard to find.
We’re blowin away, blowin away
Can we make this something good?
Well I’ll try to do to it right this time around.”

“Butterflies”
Status: NOT RECORDING
Date: 01/16/17 Time: Unknown
Location: UGWC Synergy

I can’t explain it. I can’t explain what it feels like to go out there in front of a crowd that isn’t my crowd. Fans that aren’t my fans, and wrestle people who haven’t a god damned clue who I am. It’s like the Baltimore Orioles going to Yankee park. It’s like the Baltimore Ravens going to Pittsburgh… you get the picture?

It’s like going somewhere where you’re not wanted, and it’s not because you’re not talented. It’s not because you don’t have the skill to get the job done.. no, it’s because you are new. It’s because you aren’t supposed to be there.

Tonight I finally realized that I really can’t go home again.

Tonight I finally realized that the OWF is really, truly, utterly… dead.

Tonight I realized what really lies beneath this cool, calm exterior of mine.

Rage. Hatred. Sadness.

It doesn’t feel right. It doesn’t feel right at all. Being here. Fighting them… Being handed a title shot that I didn’t earn… There isn’t a damn thing that’s right about any of this.

“Five.”

I look up from my hands, to see CJ standing triumphantly above me, his hands placed firmly on his hips and a confident smile on his face.

“What do you mean five?”

He sits down beside me and wraps his sweaty arm around me, pulling me to him.

“We beat ’em in less than five minutes, hun. You should know this. You were there.”

I shake my head.

“Just in case anyone might have thought otherwise… I’ve still got it.”

“I? Don’t you mean we?”

“Oh shit. Right. Yes. We’ve still got it. Sorry Luce.”

I scoff at that statement. Doesn’t he realize that I’m still angry at him for even being here tonight at all?

“You shouldn’t have been here tonight at all.”

“I know.”

CJ lowered his head.

“I know I shouldn’t have. But sometimes there’s a real difference what you should do and what you need to do.”

“You didn’t need to do it, either.”

“We’re not going to have this discussion again, are we?”

I turn my head, and give him a death stare – and in response he withdraws his arm from around me. Probably a good idea right now.

“Alright, I guess we are. Listen, if I’ve told you this once, I’ve told you this a million times. But I’ll say it again anyway because it’s the truth. I’m fi–”

“You’re fine. Yeah I get it. You’re absolutely fucking fine after nearly being killed almost two months ago. You’re absolutely fucking fine with defying me and doctors every single step of the way… you’re–”

He stands back up and begins pacing the room. I can see the slight wince as he turns his body, no doubt those lingering effects that I’ve been seeing since I came home…

“Hey…”

I stand up and move towards him.

“You know why I say what I say CJ… You know my stance on this.”

“Yeah, well. I’m pretty fucking hopeless, aren’t I? I can’t unlive what happened to me – and cant ever live long enough to heal good enough for you to accept that I’m well enough to compete.”

“Hey, that’s not fair.”

“Well, it was alright for you to have your ‘stance’. That’s just mine.”

I sigh and pull my sweaty hair out of my face. I do know his stance, I know he hates doctors, hospitals, anything inherently medical. I know that he tries.. at least I think he does. I know that his stubbornness is going to be the end of me too…

“Yeah….”

I touch his arm and look up into his eyes.

“I just don’t want anything to happen to you… we’ve already been through this.”

He laughs defiantly and puts his hand on mine, pulling my palm to his lips and kissing it lightly.

“You don’t have to worry about that. I wouldn’t say I’m fine if I really wasn’t. Besides, anything can happen to me at any time anyway. I could walk out of here perfectly healthy, and then end up getting hit by a bus.”

“That’s not even remotely funny.”

He laughs again.

“Oh come the fuck on. We came in here and we kicked ass. Again. Like always… like we used to. Doesn’t that at least count for something? And you, you’ve already gotten a title shot…”

I roll my eyes.

“Don’t even talk to me about that.”

CJ rolled his eyes back at me.

“Fine. I mean – what’s the sense? We don’t really get anywhere with these little talks anyway.”

“It’s not over,
Try to do it right this time around
It’s not over
But a part of me is dead and in the ground.
This love is killin me
But your the only one
It’s not over.”

“It’s like they fucking pity me, JD… and you know that I cannot stand that shit.”

I hear him take a deep breath. He’s known me for a very long time. He’s known me since I was little Lucy Johnson taking on the big bad CWA, a rookie with a serious chip on her shoulder, and enough fear to fuel the grim reaper for eons. He was the seasoned veteran, and he taught me so much…

That was until I met CJ… but that’s another story for another day.

“Oh I know. But come on.. I don’t think they meant it like that.”

Ugh.

Of course they didn’t. I mean how could they have known that I’m not just like every other cookie cutter motherfucker in the world, and I don’t want opportunities just handed to me. But knowing that doesn’t really change the way I feel about that little announcement they made just before I was set to debut… Doesn’t change a damn thing.

“JD.. I fought and clawed for that Network title. I can’t help but to assume that the only reason they’re giving me a shot at what’s his face in a few weeks is because OWF closed… because their network champ got left out in the cold…”

“Or.. you’re just that damn good. You’ve got a hell of a resume, Luce.”

I close my eyes and think of that Network Championship, all shined up and pretty, sitting on that shelf at home.

“I don’t know.. it’s all just too much sometimes. CJ getting hurt, OWF closing… and now I come in to a new place, and I immediately feel like it isn’t right… Something just feels off and I don’t know what it is.”

“Did you honestly think that UGWC was going to feel like OWF?”

Fuck.

He’s right, once again.

“So maybe I did.”

Which is idiotic. So stupid. There will never be another OWF. There will never be another place that will speak to me that way OWF did…

“Well, there’s your problem.”

I laugh out loud.

“Thanks. That’s helpful.”

“Listen, you should just take this shot and run with it. I know you want to earn what you’ve got, but why don’t you just prove that you deserved it after you whoop ass…”

He makes a good point…

“Or… better option… I kick ass and I refuse the match until I’ve earned the shot.”

“Lucy…”

I can’t help but smirk. I know that tone, and I’m sure he’s taken that tone with my sister more than once. Us Johnson girls are stubborn… and I’m not really sure how men like JD and CJ put up with us most of the time.

“JD I get what you’re saying, I really do. But there’s just something so wrong to me about taking a shot from someone else who probably earned it before I did. I had it in my mind when I signed my contract that this was a new beginning… start from the bottom and work my way to the top, just like I did in the OWF. I didn’t want to be treated special. I still don’t.”

There’s a short pause, and I can hear Kyra’s voice in the background.

“Hi Kyra!”

JD laughs.

“Your sister says hi, hun.”

Another pause, and I can hear Kyra say something unintelligible.

“She said hi.”

“No she didn’t.”

“You’re right, she didn’t. But I figured I’d spare you what she really said… considering this is the fourth time Adina has been up tonight…”

Adina. The princess. The little girl who somehow melted the icy heart of my dear sister… or maybe JD accomplished that feat first. Either way, her relationship with JD and the birth of their child has certainly changed the once prickly Kyra Johnson for the better… we actually have a relationship now.

“Is she okay?”

“She’s fine… just fussy. I’ve been up a lot of the night with her. But back to what you were saying – I know you don’t want to be treated special, but does it really hurt to let people treat you like that every once in a while?”

I’ve never thought about it.

I’ve never cared to think about it.

Probably because there hasn’t really been a lot of being treated special in my life.

“Thought never occurred to me, John.”

“Not even with your husband?”

“I’ve taken all I can take
And I cannot wait
We’re wastin too much time
Bein strong, holdin on
Can’t let it bring us down.”

“Roadtrip”
Status: NOT RECORDING
Date: 01/19/17 Time: 10:45am
Location: The Wylde Residence – Western Maryland

“CJ!”

I walk out the front door of our house, lugging my suitcase for our little ‘trip’ up to Chicago. CJ wanted us to drive the nine and a half hours up there, wanted us to go up there a little early because of the upcoming Inauguration… and I was perfectly okay with that.

I still am, except for one tiny little itsy bitsy detail…

“You are NOT driving!”

He’s sitting in the drivers seat of his ’86 Jet black Chevy Corvette. To the uneducated stranger, this wouldn’t seem like an issue at all. My man wants to drive, wants to take some of the burden off of me… but what a lot of the world doesn’t know?

Mister Wylde isn’t cleared to drive yet.

Mister Wylde still has a bum eye that needs to be rested… needs to see a fucking doctor too, but I don’t think that’s happening anytime soon.

“I told you, I’m fine… and I don’t want you to do all the driving, Luce.”

I roll my eyes as I pop the trunk and lower my bag into the spot beside his. Out of pure spite I slam the trunk closed, garnering his immediate attention.

“Hey! Don’t take it out on the car!”

I stroll leisurely over to the drivers side door and lean down into the window. He’s already got his seat belt on, and the mirrors all readjusted, looking like he’s mighty ready to get going on this little excursion to Chicago.

“Get out.”

He smirks.

“But I’m already so nice and comfortable.. why don’t you just get in right beside me, Beautiful.”

The smile on his face grows as I can only imagine he sees the reaction on my face and the slight pink tint of my cheeks. He knows that complimenting me always softens my resolve. Something I’ve definitely got to work on.

“CJ….”

He glances up in to my eyes with the CJ Wylde equivalent of ‘Doe eyes’.

“Lucy…”

My eyes narrow on him.

“Get out of the drivers seat.”

He blinks as if he doesn’t quite comprehend the words that are coming out of my mouth. I know damn well that I’m speaking english, and I know damn well that he can understand tht shit too.

I pull the door open and lean over top of him, unclicking his seat belt.

“Oh, baby… Do you remember that time…”

I feel his hand on my midsection, but before he can get too frisky I’m already back out of the car, motioning with my hands for him to vacate the drivers seat.

“Yes, I remember, and that night was a lot of fun, but you still need to get out of the drivers seat. I’m driving.”

He feigns disappointment as he slides out from behind the wheel and comes to stand directly in front of me. But the more I look at him, the more I see that it isn’t really faux disappointment… I can see a genuine sadness in those auburn hues of his. He’s got to know that I’m not trying to hurt him..

I’m only trying to do what’s best for him.

“Shit Luce, I just don’t want to be anymore of a burden to you…”

I feel my chest tighten as he turns to walk towards the passenger side of the car.

“Ceej…”

I reach out and grab his arm, turning him back towards me. My free hand reaches up and pushes a few strands of hair out of his face, my palm coming to rest on his cheek.

“You are not a burden… you never have been and you never will be.”

“I just– I’m the one that wanted to drive up there.. it’s not fair for you to do all the–”

I wrap my fingers around the back of his head and gently pull him down until our lips are touching. I know it’s rude to cut him off, but sometimes he does need to be quieted.. and there really is no better way sometimes.

After a few seconds, I pull away and speak into his lips.

“It’s fine… I don’t mind one bit.. I love you. I’d do anything for you, all you have to do is ask.”

He pecks my lips one more time.

“I love you too.”

Finally, I let go of him completely and smirk up at him.

“Now, get in that passenger seat handsome.”

But his face remains serious, which kind of surprises me.

“I don’t know what I’d do without you sometimes. Thank you.”

“You’d be a lot less frustrated, that’s for sure.”

My cheeks are burning red, and I’m absolutely sure he can see it. I try to play it off with a joke, but his words have a way of searing into my soul like a hot knife through butter. He doesn’t realize sometimes how much I hang on his every word.. and maybe that that’s why his actions cut me so deeply…

“I’m serious.”

“I know you are.”

He certainly has a way of making me both feel like the greatest thing that ever happened to him, and the single worst thing that’s ever happened to him.

Oh, the power of love, eh?

“My life with you means everything
So I won’t give up that easily
Blowin away, blowin away
Can we make this something good?
Cause it’s all misunderstood?
Well I’ll try to do to it right this time around.”

“Sorry JD.. thought we were talking career here.”

“Yeah, uh huh.”

I roll my eyes again and move the phone to my other ear.

“Okay, okay.. you’re right. Jesus.”

“Hey, you’re the one who called me…”

I lean back on the couch in the lounge of this lovely hotel we booked for the weekend up here in Chicago. Plywood would honestly be more comfortable at this point… but who am I to complain? Only another day, and then we can go back home. Synergy will be over on Monday, and we’ll be making the drive back home in no time.

“I know, I know. I just needed a sounding board and for some reason, you’re a really good listener.”

“We’ve been friends for a long time… Hell you’ve been there for me at my worst.”

I would have never imagined that JD and I would have this good of a relationship, considering the events of the last year, hell the events of the last six months alone are enough to rip any family, let alone friendship apart.

Just the fact that I kissed him when he and Kyra were on the outs, and CJ and I weren’t together… that by itself should be the reason that none of us should get along…

Yet we do.

Maybe it’s because we’ve all grown up and we’ve all owned up to our mistakes…

Who knows, but I’m thankful for the second chance regardless of the reason.

“You aren’t kidding.”

A comfortable silence settles in between us. I’m not sure why, although I don’t feel any true resolution to my problems, just being able to talk to someone about them helps. It helps immeasurably.

“This entire process hurts, John. One day I was getting ready for a title defense and looking forward to the Christmas Tree match… and then the next, I was out of a job. I loved the CWA, but when Shannon fired me – I wasn’t surprised. After that CJ and I just gave it up.. But this? This was such a shock… I literally didn’t see it coming and it honestly rocked me to my core. I belonged there… and I guess I’m scared that I’m not going to belong anywhere else ever again.”

“Lucy…”

His voice fades out, and my heart starts thumping even harder in my chest. It takes a lot for the usually strong and confident Lucy Wylde to even think about being scared or apprehensive about something, yet here I am admitting it out loud. Changes really do come, I suppose.

“We’ve all been there. But when one door closes, another one opens. You are right where you’re supposed to be, and you’re doing exactly what you’re supposed to be doing. Being scared is normal… But you’re Lucy Wylde, and you’re one of the best wrestlers on this planet – That place is damn lucky to have you. They’re damn lucky to have both members of Lethal Attraction. So just live in the moment.. and enjoy it before you really do have to retire for good.”

“I’m still upset about that title shot.”

This time he laughs out loud.

“Of course you are. I don’t expect anything less.”

I open my mouth to speak, but I again hear Kyra’s voice in the background – this time sounding a lot more frustrated.

“Shit… I’ve got to go. Apparently Daddy has the magic touch.”

“I bet mommy says the same thing…”

“Heh.. not tonight she’s not. Hey, I hope I at least helped a little.”

I nod my head.

“You did… Now go, help your wife.”

“Can do. Take care of yourself, ok?”

“Always.”

“See ya, Luce.”

“Thank you.”

“Anytime.”

“It’s not over,
Try to do it right this time around
It’s not over
But a part of me is dead and in the ground.
This love is killin me
But your the only one
It’s not over.”

“Reintroductions”
Status: RECORDING
Date: 01/21/17 Time: 09:21pm
Location: Unnamed Hotel – Chicago, Illinois

So we meet again, Jet. I do apologize for the fact that your first match of twenty seventeen has to be against me. Correct me if I’m wrong, but you’ve been there – done that… and it didn’t end up too well for you then either.

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but your year isn’t going to have the start you were hoping for. Maybe if they’d of put you up against someone, anyone else – you might have an inkling of a chance. But you see… with me, there really isn’t a chance; though I do look forward to facing you in a match that isn’t an eight man tag, at a show that isn’t Outlast.

I’m sure that on that particular night, we were all looking to make it to the main event, we were all looking to ‘outlast’ everyone else who was trying to take that World Title away from oh what’s his name – and not that I was keeping track… but I was the only one from our match to make it. Granted, I didn’t end up with the belt, and while that is a serious pity – I’ll settle for another match with you, for now.

What’s funny though is that my future opponent for Infinity is going to be the referee for this match… So let me get the pleasantries out of the way now: Hi, Killian – I’m Lucy and I’m the bitch that’s going to beat you and embarrass you at Infinity. Not because I want your belt. Not because I actually feel like I earned a shot at the Cross Hemisphere Title, but because you’re there, and as far as I’m concerned… you’re just another body to pin to the mat.

So don’t come at me and tell me that I didn’t earn a shot at your precious belt… because I fucking agree with you. It’s disgusting. It’s appalling that you’re being thrown to the proverbial wolf come Febuary sixth.

But that’s another conversation for another time.

Right now I’m just concerned with you calling a clean match and keeping your nose where it doesn’t belong. I know I’m still relatively new around here, but I’m gonna clue you in on a little fun fact about Lucy Wylde… you cheat her, or you fuck with her matches in anyway… that’s a really, really great way to move the date of your death up by quite a few years.

Nothing pisses me off more than a coward or a cheat.

I don’t take shortcuts myself… I don’t take the easy road. You see, I expect great things from myself and I hold myself to a much higher standard than a lot of you people do. That’s not meant as a slight on the rest of you, I’m sure the lot of you are good people, upstanding citizens.. but then again, I don’t know many of you yet.

But I’m sure we’ll all get very well acquainted during my stay here in UGWC.

And Jet, you’re next in line for an introduction… whether it’s going to be the Wylde Liberation, or the Keep your Chin up… I’ll see what mood strikes me when we’re out there on Monday.

See you soon.