I get it. You know?

I know that I’m a lit fuse most of the time. I get that it doesn’t really take much to set me off. I’m well aware that a lot of people use that against me.. And honestly, why in the fuck wouldn’t they? It’s like I’m walking around with a flourescent target painted on my body telling everyone within range ‘RIGHT HERE! WANT TO PISS ME OFF? HIT ME RIGHT HERE!!’.

Yeah, that’s who I am. That’s who I’ve always been.

Love me or hate me… Ain’t no one really gonna ever fucking change me.

That’s not really the point though.

The point is, I don’t like this. I don’t like this fucking match and I don’t like the reasoning behind it, courtesy of our ‘boss’ Mister Dickhead himself. Yeah, Jason, I’m referring to you. You’ve got your dick all hard, expecting Paragon to go out there on Monday and beat each other to a pulp so that you don’t have to worry about inconveniencing any of your little peons to do it themselves.

‘Punishing’ us. Yeah.. Right.

Punishing us for what, exactly? Ohh yeah.. That whole costing Melly her World title thing.. Yeah. That’s totally on us. I mean, you weren’t out there yourself or anything… Doing everything in your so-called power to cost Trent what he so obviously earned.. Yet we’re the criminals here. We’re the ones that cheated.

Wrong.

But really, you know you’re wrong.. Don’t you? I mean you know that Paragon damn well kept that match fair and made sure that whoever won did it under their own merits and without the bosses intervention.

But yeah.. Here we are, right? I mean ain’t a damn thing I can say now because you and your buddy the FORMER Carnage World Champ have it out for all of us with your stupid fucking matches and your #FireTrentSteel bullshit. Hey, that’s fine with me though.

It ain’t like you and I have ever seen eye to eye on anything, right Jason?

But I’ll give you one thing, Jason.. You really do know how to piss me the fuck off. You really do know how to push the right buttons to make me want to rip your God damned head off and shove it so far up your ass that Melody Lennox will have to move out of the way. Or is it the other way around? I can never really tell.

No matter. On Monday, you think you’re going to rip us apart and make us choose ourselves and that bright, shiny world title shot over the good of Paragon but on Monday.. I think you’ve got another thing coming.

 

Date October 29th 2018 / Time9:21AM / Status Not Recording
Location The Johnson Residence – Baltimore, Maryland

To say that I’ve had a lot on my mind since a week ago would be an understatement. Understatement of the century, really.

DING!!

I glance over at my phone and sigh. Probably another text message from John, because you know.. Jack choking him out or pulling a God damned gun on him didn’t teach him a damn thing, right?

That much is obvious.

I’ve got shit to do and I can’t stop replaying that night in my head, over and over.

You had it all, Kyra and now? All you’ve got is that and Adina… And before long you won’t even have her… You’re done Kyra. I am taking our daughter from you. You and your… God damn bastard. I will fucking end both of you.
Do I even know what would have happened if Jack wouldn’t have been there? God only knows. Especially with someone as volatile as John Dustin Mohr. But it isn’t even him that I’m scared of. I’ve dealt with my fair share of shit from men like him and I’m still fucking here..

But when I look across the room at that little girl, happily watching the TV with a Barbie in one hand and a fistfull of fruit loops in the other… I’m scared to death of losing her.

DING!!

The ringer on that damn phone pulls me out of my thoughts as Jack walks into the room and glances down at the phone on the counter as it lets out another ding.

“Let me guess..”

I roll my eyes and nod.

“Yep.”

He sighs and wraps his arm around me, pulling me close and kissing the side of my head.

“Well.. I just got off the phone with a friend in Vegas..”

“Oh yeah?”

I ask, not really paying much attention to the tone of his voice as I turn my attention down to my hands. I know he said that he’d take care of it for me… but instead of it reassuring me, it made me worry more. Made me feel a bit hopeless, in all honesty.

But that’s always the thing with me isn’t it?

I always talk a good game and act like I can handle myself but once again, here I am unable to keep control of my own life. This time though, it’s not just my life… It’s Adina’s. JD stepped in way back when and he ‘helped’ me.. He bought Carnage and ‘gave’ it to me. He married me and gave me a daughter and a family.. And then when that went sour he gave himself all the credit for fixing the trainwreck that I am.

And without him?

I guess he expects me to derail and lose all control over everything that I’ve worked really hard to keep together.

Enter Jack…

Easily the best thing that’s happened to me. Easily the ying to my yang.. At least in my eyes. But he’s just another man who for some reason loves me and wants to help me. Wants to fix everything for me because I mean so much to him.

I know he means well. But I guess I worry that if things don’t end up working out that I’ll just have another man telling me that without him I can’t survive.

I don’t know if I can deal with that again.

“…So you and Adina will be okay.”

I shake my head and glance over at Jack, confused.

“Wait.. what did you say?”

He looks down at me with concern in his eyes.

“Are you okay?”

“I’m fine.. I just missed some… or maybe all of what you just said.”

He sighs and shakes his head.

“You don’t have to worry about him anymore, Kyra.”

I chuckle and pull myself away from him, shrugging my shoulders.

“Yeah, and how is that? He’s her father for Christ’s sake.”

I reply, pointing into the living room at Adina. He turns his body and leans on the counter, crossing his arms over his chest.

“I told you, I just got off the phone with a buddy in Vegas. After what happened, he is going to sign off on a restraining order against JD for you and Adina.”

My eyes widen in shock.

“You’re kidding..”

“Furthest thing from it, Baby doll. I told you we were going to take care of him.. It’s just…”

And there it is..

It’s just…

The words of doom. Sure.. The problem will be ‘taken care of’… BUT…

I sigh and let my shoulders drop.

“It’s just.. What?”

“In order for the restraining order to stay in effect.. You have to be a resident of the state in which it is issued.”

I bite my lip and look down.

“Well I don’t live in Nevada.. So I guess that was a nice tr–”

I look back up to see a gleam in Jack’s eyes as he looks across the kitchen at me.

“What are you saying, Jack?”

He moves towards me, forcing me to look up at him as he places his hands on my shoulders, playing with my hair.

“I’ve got plenty of space. Hell there are rooms in that mansion that I probably haven’t even discovered yet. I’m sure Amber wouldn’t mind watching Adina when we have to head out for Chaos’.”

I can feel my heart beating out of my chest and my hands shaking as they hang down at my sides. Holy fucking shit..

“I… I.. Um… Fuck Jack.. That’s a lot… Really?”

He nods his head and smiles softly.

“Really, Baby doll.”

My cheeks are burning as I look away and rake my hands through my hair. Wow. This is a lot to process. But how can I look at him and tell him no when he’s doing more to look out for me and Adina than I could have ever fucking imagined. I mean… Fuck.

I don’t expect much anymore when it comes to people but maybe I should stop feeling hopeless and unworthy of shit like this and I should just fucking thank him and accept what he’s done and what he continues to do for me.

Finally I glance back up at him and sigh softly.

“Thank you. I don’t really know what to say…”

“Just say yes.”

I glance over at Adina and back up into Jack’s eyes as a small smile comes over my lips.

“Fine.. yes. Of course.. Was it even a possibility that I’d say no?”

He chuckles and shrugs.

“I never know with you. I just know that I want you guys close..”

His voice trails off and leans in, kissing me softly – sending chills down my spine. He pulls away and sends another glance over into the living room where Adina is still playing contented and happy.

“I have a small confession.”

I raise my eyebrows in question.

“What?”

He leans into my side and whispers in my ear.

“You uh, don’t really have to live in Nevada…”

I grin and turn my head, rolling my eyes.

“Oh, I know… Just couldn’t bring yourself to ask me flat out, huh?”

“Oh be quiet.”

“Mmmmhm.”

 

 

You might be pitting Paragon against Paragon.

You might be trying real damn hard to create some tension between all of us, making us fight for the spot that Jack earned at Chaos 63. But you’re not going to win, Jason. You’re not going to succeed in tearing us apart because that’s not what this is about.

I don’t know what everyone else is going to do.. Fuck, I don’t even know what I’m going to do at this point but I do know that we’re going to prove you wrong.

I’m going to prove you wrong.

 

Date October 29th 2018 / Time3:57PM / Status Not Recording
Location The Carnage Arena – Baltimore, Maryland

As this day has worn on, the happiness from this morning has slowly faded into dread. I’m dreading tonight. I’m dreading having to stand across the ring from the people I’ve come to trust here.. My family… and Jack… It’s gnawing away at me and it makes me sick to my stomach.

I don’t want to do this.

If I know Jack, he’s fine with it. He’s okay with this because he knows that regardless of who goes to that Elimination Chamber match at Ultimate Carnage, he knows that Paragon will reign supreme. And that’s all well and good for him but I’m not the type of bitch that takes something that someone else has earned.

I don’t care what it is.

Bridges wants us to squabble over that damn title shot and he wants it to rip us apart at the seams. I know we’re stronger than that.. At least I hope we are, because I honestly don’t know what everyone else is going to do tonight. I don’t know if they’re going to do what I can’t bring myself to do.. Try and take that shot away from him.

It makes me angry to think that they will.

It makes me want to break something… Which is exactly why I’m here.

I smile as I approach the door to Jason Bridges office and I look around, making sure no one is in the area before I slowly turn the knob and let myself into my former home away from home.

It smells like desperation and fear in here… Gross. But then again, as hard as he’s trying to get into Melody’s pants, I’m not really that shocked. I let the door shut behind me as I walk around the desk, sitting down in Jason’s chair and thumbing through a few things that he’s got strewn about on the desk.

As I am, I think to Jack and how he’d feel about me being here right now doing what I’m doing. He probably wouldn’t like it very much but I can’t help it.

I really can’t.

Okay, so I can. I just choose not to.

I pick up a pile of papers and throw them on the floor watching happily as they fly every which way along the smooth ground. There’s honestly nothing better than getting out a little pent up rage… If only I could just whack Jason over the skull with a chair again.

That was fun.

But this’ll have to do.

Of course, this is nowhere near enough destruction to make me feel better about later on tonight. Nowhere near enough to make me feel anything less than pissed the fuck off about him forcing me to face Jack tonight.

CRASH!

I laugh.

“Damn Jason, I hope you didn’t like that snow globe… I mean who the fuck collects snow globes anymore? Jesus Christ he’s like a little old lady.”

Oh, a lamp.

It would be a damn shame if anything were to happen to it while I was here–

CRASH!!

“Ooops.”

Damnit, I still don’t feel better. I guess that picture frame is next. I pick it up and look at who’s in the picture and I nearly fall out of the chair laughing.

“Christ Jason…”

A picture of he and Melody. Really? Fucking really? Melody looks uncomfortable as fuck standing beside him with a plastered on smile on her lips while Jason couldn’t look anymore thrilled that he’s got his arm around his former Carnage World Champion. What a creepo.

I shrug and slam the frame down on the desk, listening to the glass shatter and letting the fractured plastic frame fall to the floor before sweeping the glass off the desk and shaking my head.

“It sure is a mess in here…”

I say, standing up and moving around the desk, knocking anything and everything I can off of it and onto the floor. What doesn’t break.. I stomp on and whatever does break upon impact… Well I stomp that shit too.

Fuck Jason Bridges.

Fuck him straight to hell.

I look around the room for a few moments, my gaze settling on the walls.. Plastered with awards and certificates to god knows what. I mean, I don’t really care. They could be dick sucking awards and it wouldn’t really matter anymore than if they were actually meaningful things like diplomas and whatever.

I ball my fists up and slam into each one, savoring the sound of broken glass and ripping paper. Sure, my knuckles hurt.. Fuck, they’re bleeding.. Oh well…

“Worth it.”

I mutter to myself as I knock over his potted plant on the floor, sending dirt cascading across the floor.

After a few more minutes of wanton destruction, I make my way back to the door and I turn around, admiring my handy work. Sure.. It’s not much but I do feel better. Sure.. It’s petty as fuck, but honestly, so is putting me in a match against my family…

I quietly open the door back up and slip out, looking around again to make sure no one happened to be heading down the hall to see me suspiciously leaving the bosses office before I make my exit and saunter my ass down the hall, wiping my hands off on my pants, leaving blood prints on my hips.

 

 

How am I going to do that?

By being the bigger person, Jason.

I’ll go out there and I’ll do what I’m contracted to do. I’ll go out there and step into that ring and I’ll fight but you still won’t be happy. I know you, Jason. You’re a bitch and you won’t be happy until you can snake that belt back around Melody’s waist. But whatever. You do you, buddy.. And I’ll be over here preparing for my match on Monday…

Which I guess brings me to the people I’m facing, huh?

Where to start…

I guess I’ll start with you, Christy. I mean, I really don’t know much about you, but from what I’ve seen you’re a stand up kind of bitch and I can only imagine what you’d do with a shot at the world title. You and Jack have obviously known each other for a long time and I can see the respect that the two of you share.

It’s nice.

You’re strong and you’re talented. I mean why else would Jack respect you so much? I mean I’m sure there’s more to it than that, but I guess I’ll be finding that out, huh? I wish I could say that I’m not going to kick you upside your head on Monday night, but I guess if it happens, it happens. It’s not like I’m not expecting you to do the same exact thing to me.

Except I’m not fighting for that World title shot. If you are, that’s okay. I’m sure you’re not the only one.

Which brings me to Eli. You’re like a son to Jack. I see the way he looks at you. He’s damn proud of what you’ve accomplished and he’s more proud that you’ve held that Baltimore City Championship with honor and dignity. Congratulations on that, by the way. And congratulations on highroading that motherfucker into a Ultraviolent Title match. I’m sure you’ll do great..

Just one thing, hun?

Don’t get fucking greedy on Monday.

Do what the rest of us have done and work your way up that ladder… The right way. Not just because Bridges put us in this match. I don’t know if you’ll listen.. I’m betting that since my name isn’t Jack Michaels that the answer to that is ‘no’. Oh well, I warned you.

Hi TJ…

I don’t really know what to say to you. I like you. I really do. Of everyone in Paragon, I guess I see myself the most in you. You’ve got yourself a mouth and you kinda do shit without thinking sometimes. Welcome to the fucking club.

You’re the wildcard in this match to me.. As much as I don’t know what everyone else is going to do… I don’t know what you’re going to do that much more. And for some reason, that intrigues me. But don’t get me wrong, I’ll knock your fucking head off your body if you step out of line.. I hope I’m making myself clear here. No hard feelings though. Hell I’ll even give you some asprin for that headache after we go backstage.

I’m a nice woman… Most of the time.

Which brings me to you, Jack.. My love.

The man who keeps us all in line. Haha. Yeah. Right.

I’ve told you this.. I don’t want to do this. I don’t want to face you. I know damn well that this is the business we’ve all signed up for and I always knew in the back of my mind that this was always a possibility.. But there’s a difference between this and the other matches I’ve had with my former… beaus?

Those matches came at a point when we hated one another. Hell, JD broke my nose in a steel cage a few years ago. Jake, I snapped his knee in a match. That’s a story for another time though. But this? This is different. You and I? We’re good. We’re amazing.. And I love you. I don’t want to fight you.

I don’t want to hurt you.

But I know you’re going to tell me that we have to. We can’t let Bridges win at this game and in order to do that, we have to go out there and fight.

And I will..

Not because Bridges wants me to.. But because You want me to.