Date October 30th 2018 / Time 10:09AM / Status Not Recording
Location Ohio State Medical Center –
Columbus, Ohio

What a fucking day…

I pull my jacket closer to my body as I step out into the brisk Ohio morning. Christ.. Was it this fucking cold when Gabriel and I came in here last night? Wow.. If that ain’t a fucking thought.. I spent the night with Gabriel Baal. Granted it was in a hospital. Granted we were waiting on news about Eden..

But still.

Fucking still.

That’s not something I ever thought I’d say regardless of context.

And I know he was just worried about Edie. I know he wouldn’t have said any of that shit to me last night had he not of been absolutely devastated and worried about the woman that I’d put in that hospital bed. Which made the fact that he held my hand all the way to the hospital even more… I don’t know.. Odd? Is odd the right word for it?

Jesus Christ.

I mean.. The entire thing just boggles my mind. I know I only did what Eden wanted.. What she needed me to do. I know they don’t blame me for what I did, which makes this entire thing even weirder. I just sat in the hospital room and had a real heart to heart with Eden fucking Morgan after sitting in the waiting room with Gabriel all night, having a ‘talk’ all our own. Fuck. It doesn’t change the fact that I feel like a terrible person for not having that match stopped. It doesn’t change the fact that I held Gabriel’s hand as we rode to the hospital with Eden. It doesn’t change the fact that I care. But it also doesn’t change the fact that I just can’t forget everything he put me through earlier this year.. And what that experience has done to me since.

“Miss Wylde!”

I stop and turn back towards the hospital entrance to see someone I don’t recognize running towards me. What now? Oh Christ.. Is something wrong with–

“What’s going on? Is something wrong with Eden?”

She comes to a stop in front of me, shaking her head.

“Oh.. No, no. Miss Morgan is still resting.. The gentleman in the room with her sent me down to bring you this..”

She extends her hand, holding out my phone to me. I chuckle and grab it from her hand, shaking my head.

“Christ… I can’t believe I forgot it. Umm.. Tell Gabriel I said ‘thanks’.”

“Can do.. Have a nice day Miss Wylde.”

I nod my head as she turns and jogs back into the building while I just stand there for a few moments, staring down at my phone. What if.. I shake my head, willing that particular thought out of my head.

“Fuck Lucy..”

I mutter to myself, continuing down the parking lot. I know damn well that if things weren’t the way they are right now, he and I wouldn’t have even been in the same room together, let alone holding hands or talking as… as kindly as we were.

Not to fucking mention that Eden and I… Good God. First that letter that she sent me before the match. Last night, that match.. And today – that talk we had in the hospital room. Would she have shown me the true her if we wouldn’t have been facing one another, or if she wasn’t facing a condition as.. Scary as she’s dealing with? I know that she wouldn’t have.

But I guess facing down the end of a career like hers, and potentially life threatening medical issues will do that to a person. I respect that about her, I really do.

Hell, I walked into Massive Melee to face Gabriel with a broken face. I walked in there and fought anyway even though everyone and their brother knew that I shouldn’t have. So what makes her wanting to end things ‘her way’ any God damned different?

It really doesn’t, I guess.

And she’s gotten it her way.. Maybe moreso than she’d imagined.

But I know that that’s the exact same way that I’d want to do it if I were in her position, facing those same odds. It’s just hard being on the other side of that ring.. It’s hard to be the one to have put her in that bed, fighting harder than she was before she and I fought last night.

I guess I’ve got some shit to work through this week in therapy.

That’s one way of looking at it.

What a fucking day…

 

Date November 2nd 2018 / Time 1:21PM / Status Not Recording
Location The Office of Doctor Irene Itzkof, MD – New York City, New York

“So.”

Dr. Itzkof says after a few moments of silence after I came into the office and sat down in my chair.

“So?”

I finally reply, not bothering to look up from my hands, intently inspecting my manicure.. Or lack thereof. I know I wanted this appointment, I was actually looking forward to it until I really, really started thinking about what has happened at Battleground and what I watched happen on Chaos (Chaos 64) between Maggie and JC where I watched Maggie turn on him after their match on Chaos.

To say I’m at a loss for words would be an understatement.

“Do you have something on your mind?”

I scoff and shrug my shoulders.

“I’ve got a lot of something on my mind, Doc. I just.. I don’t even know how to put it into words.”

She nods her head as I finally bring my eyes up to meet hers.

“Why don’t you try.”

I nod my head.

“Yeah.. I guess that’s what I’m paying you for, huh?”

She smirks and shakes her head as she jots something down on her notepad.

“Right.. I don’t know. I fought Eden Morgan on Monday, at Battleground.”

I sigh.

“I don’t understand.. Did you lose?”

“No, no.. I won actually. It’s just.. She ended up in the hospital after the match and I put her there.”

The doctors eyebrows raise in question as she looks up from her notebook.

“Yeah, I know.. That sounds pretty bad right? She and I have been looking forward to this match for almost two years now. I mean, not because we like each other because that’s the furthest thing from the truth but.. I didn’t know that she was dealing with some underlying medical issues until we were already fighting and she started looking… out of it.”

“I don’t understand, I thought that when things like that happened–”

“Yeah, the match gets stopped. I know. I tried to get the match stopped once I knew that there was something seriously wrong with her.. But she didn’t want it stopped. She wanted to go out ‘her’ way.”

Doctor Itzkof cocks her head to the side.

“Her way?”

I sigh and nod, turning away and fiddling with my hands.

“Yeah. She didn’t want to go out because I took it easy on her or someone else stopped the fight. It’s hard for someone to understand that’s not in our business, I suppose but I got it. I understood what she meant because if I’d of gotten the match stopped she wouldn’t have had her closure, you know? No, I guess you don’t. But I do. I couldn’t take it easy, nor could I let the match be stopped before we fought our fight… and well we had our fight and after the match she collapsed. Gabriel and I helped her to the back and she ended up in the hospital.”

“Did you just say Gabriel?”

I roll my eyes.

“Yeah, Gabriel and I rode to the hospital with her.. And we stayed there all night, waiting for the tests and everything to come back.”

“Wow.. the man who gave you over to your father. Interesting.”

I don’t know. The way she said interesting just doesn’t set well with me. I look up from my hands and give her an angry look.

“What’s so damned interesting about it? That Gabriel and I both cared about Eden’s well being? I guess you’d enjoy knowing that I held his fucking hand the whole way to the hospital and we sat there together talking for hours before he was finally able to go see her. I guess that’s pretty fucked up for two people who are supposed to hate each other but what people like you don’t realize is that when I say regardless of my feelings towards either Gabriel OR Eden.. I don’t want to see either of them hurt, I fucking mean it. I hate Gabriel for what he did, I hate Eden’s part in mocking and taunting me since the moment I stepped into UGWC BUT… who the fuck else was gonna step in and do the right thing that night?”

She opens her mouth to say something but I cut her off.

“No fucking body because they’re all too engrossed in themselves and their bullshit problems to realize that even the people they may hate have serious problems too. Gabriel needed someone to be there… I was there. Does that mean I’m suddenly his best fucking friend? Fuck no. Does that mean me and Edie are going to fucking go out for drinks and share some girl time? No. I did the right fucking thing and that’s all there is to it. I’m not the only person with issues in the world.”

Finally I stop and I grit my teeth, standing up from the chair and moving towards the window. I hear that pencil working feverishly on the paper and I wish I could honestly rip that damn pad out of her hands and throw it down into the street below.

“I see.”

I laugh.

“And that’s all you have to say? Christ. And to top things off? Joe and Maggie had a match together at the last Chaos and Maggie turned on him and attacked him after the match.”

“I thought they were fighting soon anyway.”

“Yeah.. They are, in what I thought was going to be a respectful and competitive match.. Until Maggie decided to turn on full bitch mode. Why she did it, I have no God damned idea but I intend on finding out.”

I glance away from the window and sigh as the doctor watches me from her chair.

“Oh?”

“Yeah. I’m going to the next Chaos and I’m fucking talking to her. Of course, we have to team up at Synergy that same night but whatever. I don’t really care. Joe challenged her because.. Well I guess because firstly he wanted that belt and I guess because he sees Maggie as a worthwhile competitor. Why would she take offense to that? I mean that’s what being a good champion is all about. Defending it against anyone who comes to take it from them.”

“Maybe there’s something more to it than that?”

I shrug my shoulders and turn my attention back towards the window.

“I don’t much care. She’s acting like a fucking child and now he’s going to be gunning for her even more because she blindsided him like that.”

“Maybe that’s what she wants?”

I sigh and shrug my shoulders again.

“I don’t know. All I know is the two most important people in my life are acting like this and I’m caught in the middle. What kind of fucked up universe am I living in doc? A universe where I put Eden Morgan in the hospital and potentially end her fucking career and I’m NOT celebrating in the streets.. A universe where Gabriel and I actually didn’t try to kill one another for once.. And where Maggie and Joe are about to kill one another over some fucking no name federations hardcore belt. What the fuck…”

 

Date November 12th 2018 / Time Unknown / Status Not Recording
Location The Carnage Arena – Baltimore, Maryland

(If you want to see what happened before this particular piece of my RP… Tune into Carnage Wrestling’s Chaos when it comes out on Monday… or Tuesday!)

I bust through the doors of this piece of shit arena and step out into the cold as fuck Baltimore night. Jesus Christ, to hell with this city, to hell with this fucking promotion and especially to hell with all the people inside.

My head hurts.

My fucking arms are nearly frozen off my body from just being outside for a few seconds and mostly, I’m just fucking livid right now. And when I look up across the parking lot, I see exactly what I didn’t want to see right now. Especially after what just happened in there.

“Oh! Miss Wylde!”

Some Bitch comes running up to me with her camera crew in tow, shining their lights in my face, making this headache worse.

“WHAT?!”

I scream at her, pushing the camera out of my face.

“What.. What happened in there just moments ago?”

“What happened? Really? You didn’t just watch it right along with the rest of Baltimore? Magdalena Lockheart has lowered herself to the level of a fucking infant. That’s what just fucking happened. Can I go now?”

I don’t bother waiting for an answer as I shove past her and her crew, heading towards my car, ready to make my way up to Chicago and Synergy.

But as I get a few paces away, I stop and I turn back to the now defeated interviewer and I realize that I’m not quite done.

“Wait a minute, I’ve got some shit to say.”

“Of course Miss Wy–”

“Shut up.”

I hold my hand up and motion towards the camera to turn towards me and when it does, I let loose.

“So tonight, I finally got to see the true colors of one Magdalena Lockheart. Funny, ain’t it.. I thought I knew everything about her. Every positive thing, every thing that made me happy to know her, everything that made me feel like the luckiest woman on the earth that at one time, she wanted me to be hers.. Along with that, I thought I knew every flaw, every crack in that otherwise flawless exterior and every problem that went along with it. But no.. Tonight she truly showed me who in the fuck she is.”

I stop and take a deep breath.

“I thought she was a bit childish before, you know… I thought that she had some shit that she needed to work out but no.. I was wrong. She’s far more infantile than I ever fucking dreamed of. Yeah, Magdalena… I’m talking about you. Hi, sweetie. The shit that you said in there just a little bit ago? You couldn’t be anymore paranoid about losing that precious Ultraviolent Championship to JC if you fucking tried, hun. And that’s a damn pity, considering you’re the very same woman who took back that Cross-Hemisphere Championship just a few weeks ago.”

I scoff and begin pacing around in front of the lens.

“I really don’t know what you’re trying to do, turn me against Joe? The only person that’s actually been there for me through all this shit I’ve been dealing with? You’re really grasping at straws, huh? I get it. You’re fucking upset at me. Fine. That’s fucking FINE, Magdalena. But how about you take that shit up with me? How about you act like a fucking adult for once in your God damned life and bring your problems with me.. TO ME?! Yeah, I fucked up. It wasn’t the first time and it for damn sure won’t be the last time I make a mistake in my life. But if you wanna keep holding that against me, fine. But don’t bring people into it that can do what you couldn’t.”

I stop and stare into the camera.

“Move the fuck on.”

I stare a few more intense moments before continuing.

“Yeah, I said it. Move the fuck on, Magdalena. I’m not saying forgive me for the shitty things that I did but I’m saying just get on with it. You wanna hate me for the rest of your life, by all means, do it. I’m not going to grovel at your fucking feet anymore, begging you for forgiveness, begging you to be in my life again. I have my own damn life to work out.. And it’s pretty apparent that you do too. But I guess your snide little comments about me taking care of myself are supposed to do for now, right? Wrong. I’m sick of it. So how’s about you come on up to Synergy in a few hours and maybe then we’ll settle a few things after we do this little ‘cooperative’ thing against our World Champ and our Former…whatever in the fuck he is anymore. Okay?”

I stop and shake my head.

“You do your part, and I’ll sure as hell do mine.”

With that I shove the camera away and stomp down the parking lot to my car.

My give a damn is busted.

Hard.