Covert Jay: CAALLAAMMIITTYY FRROOMM THHEE SKKIIEESS!!!!

The force of her moonsault onto Fear yanks Jet and Zane through the ropes, tangling them up between them and the chains, snaring them while she makes the cover.

1…

2…

3!!!

Vinegar: SHE DID IT! LUCY WYLDE WON!

Dennis: Your winner, and NEW UGWC WORLD CHAMPION, LUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCY WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWYLDE!!!!

She had done it. It was the culmination of a long journey.

My girlfriend Lucy Wylde had been through a lot in the past year and a half. How much? Well, ‘a lot’ is an understatement. I won’t go into an excruciating detail of what she had to overcome to accomplish fulfilling her dream of winning the UGWC World Heavyweight Championship, but I will say that there’s a huge gap between knowing that it was her moment and making it her moment. There’s only a few people in the world that can claim to know most of her story. And honestly, I can’t wait to be – hopefully – a huge part of the next chapter of it.

Briefly considering the future, and what it may hold, I can’t help but to think that the bitter and jealous rivals will soon recall this moment and suggest that the opportunity to once again personify the pinnacle of our industry was more-or-less handed to her by competition director Hastings. They may suggest that she doesn’t understand or feel the full weight of the difficult, long-trudged, and rocky path toward the peak of the professional wrestling mountain. Of course they’re gonna be wrong about her, as they typically are.

I know the truth.

She deserves this more than anyone in the world.

I’m afforded this reflection because I’m there. As in, I’ve been by Lucy’s side for quite some time now. As I have been, for an albeit brief while in the overall story that is Lucy Wyldes life. And in this moment, I’m there, too. The UGWC Network cameras continue rolling in the moments after the finish of the No Holds Barred main event. Lucy Wylde’s kneeling in the middle of the ring with her newly-won UGWC World Heavyweight Championship belt pressed against her face. Blood, sweat, and the inevitable tears of joy mark the high-polished gold of the main plate irrevocably. Soon her iconic name, once synonymous with flatlined, defunct Outsider Wrestling Federation will be engraved there as well. Once the poster child of a true outsider, and now she’s going to be on every UGWC poster as the face of their franchise.

For me, it’s a surreal and sobering experience. To be in the crowd for that moment. To be a fan – Lucy’s biggest fan. To watch perhaps the greatest moment of her career, and one of the greatest moments in UGWC history go down on what would surely be remembered as a historical night here in Detroit. I’m a mere 30 feet away standing in front of my reserved seat in the front row, and no, I didn’t capture any video from my cellphone to prove it. I am damn proud to say that I got to witness it with my own two eyes – and seeing her win the industry’s biggest and most coveted prize will remain forever etched in my memory until the day I die. I am damn proud to just be there, if nothing more than just another witness. Lucy not only defeated three other worthy challengers in a match that emphasized her weaknesses well above her strengths, she did it without controversy; and without help.

Well, without immediate help in the physical sense, that is.

I hop the barricade and pass through the security that try to stop me (until they realize who the f- I am) and I make my way into the ring. I stand in the center of the ring and clap while Lucy is standing on the second turnbuckle: Championship belt held high in the air while a dizzying flurry of sparkling confetti falls around her. Literally every single person inside the Little Caesars Arena is on their feet, from the fans to the commentary team, to the staff and even her opponents – licking their wounds as they walk to the back. Flashbulbs are shimmering like the billions of stars that fill a clear Alaskan night sky.

And there I am.

I’m crying, too.

Lucy hops down and she turns to face me. I continue to clapping and dab at the corners of my eyes. She’s walking towards me with her prize clutched tight to her chest. I move forward to embrace her – I’m going to give her the biggest hug and kiss this world has ever seen. I’ve been holding back, but no more. I want the world to know that Lucy Wylde is my girlfriend. That she’s my prize, loved and coveted more than she has ever been loved and coveted by anyone else in her thirty-four years of life. I open my arms wide and I get ready to take her in-

But that’s when I feel the rush beside me. Like a gust of wind, two blurs. They pass me on my right and my left, pushing past my outstretched arms to close the gap between themselves and Lucy. Lucy’s eyes widen and so do her lips, into the biggest smile I’ve ever seen her give… well… anyone.

Jason Ingalls and Rogan MacLean scoop her up and sweep her off of her feet. Paper rain continues to fall as the Killing Joke reunite at the end of the show. The pure joy between them rivals a soldier returning from a long tour of duty. They hoist Lucy Wylde up onto their shoulders and parade her around the ring as the crowd cheers harder than I’ve ever heard a crowd cheer before.

I smile and dab another tear from my eye. I clap, sure. But I also feel my chest tightening.

It’s getting harder to breathe. Lucy’s so incredibly happy.

And it isn’t me.

Magdalena Lockheart Presents:
“The Future: Sands of Time“ (Part 1)

 

The UGWC World Headquarters are in Chicago, Illinois.

So that’s where I find myself, one week plus a day or two removed from No Holds Barred, depending on if you count the action that quietly slipped past midnight as the main event was drawing to a close.

I’m tapping my freshly manicured fingernails on the desk on Lord-Director Hastings. Can’t say that I know the man real well, but when he enters his office I can tell that he notices me right away. I can feel his eyes scanning me; perhaps my intention if you consider that I want to be noticed. As the temperature outside has slowly climbed so too has the amount of skin I’m comfortable in showing. I want to be noticed, mostly, because I’ve felt certain things lately. Mostly things like… that maybe… little Maggie Lockheart has slipped through the cracks.

I know it’s crazy – I’ve been on a nice winning streak lately.

I stand politely and shake Hasting’s hand before he offers me the seat that I had already been sitting in waiting for his arrival. I sink back down and cross my legs, my tight halter-top and short skirt necessitate that I don’t show off too much. Swaying my open-toed stilettos, I’m admittedly a bit more nervous about this ‘meeting’ than I expected myself to be.

“So,” Hastings starts off, “What brings you in here today Miss Lockheart?”

I swallow my breath.

“Well, Mister creative director, Sir-”

“Donovan.”

“Huh?”

“Donovan will be fine.”

He strokes his beard. The way he’s composing himself – shoulders back, chest out, head high but practically leaning over his desk to close the distance between he and I – speaks volumes of the masculine, authoritative confidence that he exudes.

“Well, uhh, Mr. Hastings… Donovan… I uhh- I came all the way out here because I thought that what I wanted to talk to you about was too important to talk to you about over the phone.”

“Oh? And what was it that you wanted to talk about?”

“Why I’m here, Sir.”

“Yes. That’s what I’d like to know.”

“No no…” I grit my teeth. “I meant why I’m here. As in, why I signed that full-time contract a couple months ago.”

“Oh, you mean why you’re in the UGWC.”

“Yeah-” I chuckle nervously. “Exactly.”

Donovan extends his arms outward as if to say: ‘please, indulge me’.

“Well, uhm. It’s kinda like this Mr. Hastings- Donovan- Sir. A few months ago I wasn’t so sure that I could really make it here. You know, after what happened at Outlast and all of that. I wasn’t exactly… impressive… by any means.”

“But you have been impressive as of late,” He replies.

“Thank you.” I say, flashing a shadow of a smile. “I appreciate that. And by the way, great job on your first episode of Chill by the way. I don’t think that you could have planned that to go any better than what you had expected. It was a great show- I think it’s going to do great things for this company-”

The Creative Director nods his head.

“Yes that was quite impressive, wasn’t it? Well, thank you Miss Lockheart. But please, if we could get back to the matter at hand.”

“Oh, right-” I say while straightening myself up in the chair. “Well-”

I’m not really sure how I want to go about this. I don’t want to come off as ungrateful or like I don’t care.

“-I don’t know how else to say it so I’m just gonna come right out with it. I came to the UGWC to be with Lucy.”

Hastings combs through his beard with his fingertips as he responds with a raspy hmm.

“And don’t get me wrong. I am thankful for every opportunity that you’ve given me thus far. But if I’m being honest as to why I signed on the dotted line, it’s because I got tired of seeing Lucy going at it alone. For a while there, it seemed like it was just her versus the Court.”

“I take it you saw my offer as a chance to even those odds.”

“Yes-” I say, wrapping my hands around the edges of Donovan’s oak desk. “And since I’ve been here, what help have I been?”

“Magdalena-” Hastings says in a tone like he’s going to try to comfort me. He sighs, like he’s struggling to find the words that will assuage my fears. “I cannot speak for Ms. Wylde, but what I can tell you from my point of view is that you appear to be an integral piece of her mental well-being. What I’m trying to say is, it’s pretty obvious that your presence is more than enough support for our new World Champion. At least, obvious to me, anyway.”

He peers at me from across his desk.

“Have you at least considered the possibility that your presence is enough for her?”

“I have.” I say confidently. “It may be enough for her. But it’s not enough for me.”

“What are you saying?”

“I know that Lucy is already teaming up with Rogan and Jace. But if I may make a special request. I’d… like to team up with her more.”

Hastings strokes his beard again, except this time a bit more strongly in consideration.

“I think I’ve just scratched the surface of what I can do here. But I’d be lying to you if my prime motivation in UGWC is making sure that Lucy Wylde is taken care of. Maybe that’s not exactly what you want to hear out of one of the youngest people on your roster- but I didn’t get to where I’m at now beating around the bush. What I want… is a chance. An opportunity. Let me prove to you that what happened between me and Mizore Payne at No Holds Barred wasn’t a fluke. I’m one of the toughest bitches you’ve got on your roster, Mister Hastings. And if you team me up with the baddest bitch on the planet, I don’t see how we could ever lose.”

“Alright, alright.” The creative director replies, “If it’s time with Lucy you want, then it’s time that I can supply.”

I nealy jump out of the chair in joy.

“But before you get too excited Magdalena, let me caution you this: be careful what you wish for. Teaming up with your… ahem… girlfriend… might seem like the best idea at the time. But if you happen to encounter any… trouble… out there, I’m afraid that I cannot help you.”

“Thank you, Mister Hastings! I won’t let you down!”

Donovan Hastings leans forward and glares at me with a grin.

“Of course you won’t.”

 

 

I had asked for this.

As a matter of fact, I flew out to Chicago to ask for it. Kind of a bold move if you ask me. But hubris aside, there’s something more to wanting to tag-team with Lucy Wylde that what you see on the surface. There’s something more with wanting to fight side-by-side with the woman whom I’ve fallen deeper and deeper in love with. And yeah, I’ll spare you the pithy details and the Real Housewives of Lacklandia drama/bullshit. All it boils down to is simple. I’m ready to take that next step.

It’s not just my words that are saying it.

But it’s my actions that are screaming it.

Rewind the clocks back to No Holds Barred. Mizore Payne beat me to what I feel was within an inch of knocking me flat unconscious. Some say that if it wasn’t for an exploding turnbuckle pad and Mizore’s general lack of self-awareness, that it would have been her that ended up victorious over me. But let’s not so quickly forget the moments where she tried to bash my skull in with a baseball bat. Let’s not forget the impact, after impact, after impact, of Mizore’s “Cold Shoulder” that I kicked out of again, and again. That’s called the will to continue. That’s the heart, the fire, and the passion that I bring into this business everytime my music plays over those loud speakers and every time I step foot into that ring.

For weeks now I’ve gained victories in the oddest of circumstances. And no, I’m not going to stand here and tell you that I’m ready to take on the world one superstar at a time. But what I can tell you is that I was ready for Mizore Payne that night.

Was Mizore ready for me?

And yeah, before I go on, let me talk about how impressed I was, and am, with Mizore Payne. She nearly beat the life out of me. And yeah, I’ve got to give her a bit of respect for that. Mizore Payne is not someone to be taken lightly moving forward, and that goes for anyone who’s seeing their name listed across from hers in the marquee. But like it or not, it was her frustration that ultimately got the best of her that night. If you give Magdalena Lockheart and opportunity like Mizore did at the end of that match, you now know that Magdalena Lockheart is going to take it.

I’m quite the opportunist, afterall.

So I suppose that it’s no secret now as to why I went to our esteemed creative director. For far too long I sat around on the sidelines and I wondered why I couldn’t get the job done here just like I could seemingly everywhere else. I’ve been frustrated by it, I’ve been mocked about it, and one of those that have had the loudest voice about it is one of our opponents this week, the UGWC Chaos Champion Le Bordy de Dieu. Maybe I was wrong, and perhaps a little bit mistaken – maybe I didn’t quite understand that this is the Unified Global Wrestling Coalition and it’s going to take a different approach to win here.

But then again, Mrs. Aveline Lacklan has set the world on fire since capturing the Chaos Championship. She’s proven that she’s ruthless and will stop at nothing to hurt, injure, maim, and destroy anyone and everyone who stands in her way.

The Grim Farmboy’s incredible effort notwithstanding, he really was no match for Bordy in the Dragon’s cave. Because I have come to know Bordy as a woman who can back up her words. Her actions speak for her and they are loud and clear. Walking out of the Dragon’s Cave was no easy feat but Le Bord De Dieu remains a champion in the UGWC universe. And to that end I’ve got to give her credit. Like Kanye, Bordy was able to use her #DragonEnergy to slay the lumbering behemoth. And not a moment too soon, as everyone in the audience had returned from the concessions and the bathrooms, anxiously waiting for the next contest to begin.

But now that No Holds Barred is in the books Lucy and I can look forward to moving onward and upward… well save that last part for me. Just like I said we were going to, Lucy and I bookended the night perfectly and we celebrated her World Championship victory partying like it was 1999. But not too long after that were we back to the grind. While the coldkids and everyone else were shooting tv shows, playing lingerie football, and digitizing themselves in some weird looking little anime fetish game, Lucy and I were back at the gym- focusing on professional wrestling. You know, like real champions do.

And I don’t mean to kink-shame, because I’m not one to talk. But in all honesty, an overwhelming sense of pride must go into all of that Lacklanland bullshit. I honestly don’t get it, don’t know or perhaps just don’t understand how such a vacuous void – the complete and selfish attention grab came to be. It’s like a black hole. I have seen such talent, such pure and incredible, raw talent come out of the Lacklan camp. But I’ve also seen what most Lacklans well, lack. And that’s getting hugged enough as a child.

If I wanted to watch a dysfunctional family’s daily drama I’d turn on the E! Network. I’d watch the Kardashians or what’s that other show that features the wrestling twin sisters? You can’t claim to corner the market just because you’re putting your own shitty spin on everything that already exists. You can’t piss into a bottle of coke and call it an energy drink. Oh wait, I just invented the Lacklan’s newest product. Tastes like jealousy spread on week old baguettes.

And for the record, this list of ten things I shouldn’t do, or say, in my promotional videos is kinda hashtag cool and all. But I follow just one simple rule:

I try not to sound like Bordy.

Everything else just seems to fall right into place.

But I digress. Sure we’re going to step back in the ring. And sure we’re gonna duke it out. Bordy has gotten the best of me a few times and I’ve gotten the best of her, too. But the difference between Bordy and I is that I don’t fuckin’ bitch about things when they don’t go my way. I pick myself up, I give my wrestling gear the good ol’ brush over, and I get one foot moving right back in the front of the other. Because that’s called self-respect. And it’s obvious that if your last name is Lacklan you simply don’t have that.

I get better each and every time I step foot into that ring. I’ve given up complacency long ago, just like Bordy and Miss Vaughn will find holds true with our new World Champion this week on Synergy. Lucy and I will look to redefine what it means to be a tag-team, but we’ll also strive to redefine what it means to be ourselves, just like we do week in and week out. Just like we do when we win, and like we do when we lose. We don’t sit around and weep cozened platitudes and pander to the higher-ups in their cozy boardrooms. When we want something we fight for it, and if we don’t get it the first time we just keep on fighting until we make our dreams a reality.

Lucy and I are walking into Synergy and we are not backing down. When the opportunity comes I will show both Angelica and Aveline exactly what Mizore Payne saw two weeks ago. And that is a fighter who is determined to give everything she has to this business… this industry. I don’t do it for the likes and I don’t do it for the ratings. I do it because I am as passionate as I say I am – as I have proven beyond a shadow of a doubt to be!

Two champions, two challengers, and a struggle to determine which one of us will function greater as a team. Take one look at this match and you already know who has the clear edge, the advantage walking into this contest. And for an opportunist like me, that’s all I really need.

I’m afraid the underwear footballers are getting tackled pretty hard come Monday.

But when it’s their ego that gets bruised the most, they’ll only have themselves to blame.

Look at what you just made me do.