Date May 3rd 2018 / Time 6:02PM / Status Not Recording
Location The ‘War’ Residence – Baltimore, Maryland

Joey and I have been spending a lot of time together lately. I’ve enjoyed it. I’ve helped him pick a dog, he’s taken me to the beach, we’ve worked out together… It’s been nice. It’s been great to take a break from the perils of spearheading a divorce, moving my life back to Baltimore and dealing with everything that’s been happening in Carnage lately.

As for today, he wanted an update on what’s been really going on since Bridges has taken over. Makes me realize how long it’s been since he’s been around. But since I can’t turn down a chance to talk shit about Bridges… I had to run right over here.. Literally run.

Could’ve taken the car, but what’s the fun in that?

I get to the door and knock, bending over in front of the door as I wait. I didn’t realize he lived that far away. Oh well.

The door opens and I stand back up, turning around to see the Joey’s surprised face. I cross my arms over my chest and wipe a bit of sweat off my forehead as he looks me up and down.

“Wait, did you run here?”

I shrug my shoulders.

“Ran.. Walked.. It’s all the same, right?”

“Yeah..”

He says, rubbing the back of his neck as we stand there in the doorway. Well this is a little awkward. I move to the side and glance back out at the street, watching a few cars go by before I hear him mutter under his breath and I turn back to him with a smile on my face.

“What was that?”

He grins and opens the door further, motioning me inside.

“Hey, come in..”

I brush past him and into the house, taking it all in as I go. It’s a lot different than my condo – but then again, what did I expect? I realize what a nosy fucker I am though, as I’m peeking into all the little nooks and crannies as he slips past me and into the living room. It’s not long before I follow him in and I can’t help but to squeal with joy as I see his dog Zena trotting over to me, her tail practically wagging off of her rear end.

I lean down in front of her, petting her.

“There you are.. I was wondering what happened to you. That’s a good girl.”

Joey chuckles from behind the dog.

“So you gonna tell me what all this bull with Bridges is about, or are you just using me to get to my dog?”

My eyes come up to meet his and I shrug my shoulders, sticking my tongue out at him.

“Hey, I can’t help she loves me more than you.”

“Bullshit.”

“You might think so… But I see it in her eyes. Anyway, yeah let me tell you about this fucker.. I need some water first though.”

I turn and leave the living room, making my way to the kitchen as I hear him yell after me.

“Just making yourself right at home, huh?”

I chuckle to myself, grabbing a water from the fridge and making my way back into the living room, throwing myself down onto the couch beside him.

“Yep.”

As I open the bottle and take a quick drink, I try to think about how to even start this whole story. It feels like it’s been forever since I lost Carnage and since Bridges took control… Yet it’s only been a year. A lot can happen in a year, I guess.

I close the bottle and put it between my legs, taking a deep breath.

“Well, I mean there’s not really much to tell. Really, it’s kinda embarrassing. I know Jack was being a dick on Twitter today, but he was mostly right in what he said.”

I sigh and roll my eyes, thinking about what Jack Michaels had said on Twitter earlier today. Basically putting me on blast for being the author of my own demise. As if I didn’t already know that.

I look over to see Joey looking at me with questions in his eyes – and I already know what questions he’s wanting to ask.

“I mean, I let all the bullshit between JD and I interfere with my work. And if I’m being totally truthful and realistic, it had been interfering with my work since wayyy before the network came along, it’s just I had no consequences back then.. And I didn’t care.”

“So what changed that?”

I can feel my cheeks burning with embarrassment.

It’s even more embarrassing that he’s so damned interested in this story.

I reach up, running my hands through my hair – letting them fall back to my shoulders as I try to think of the right response. No, not the response he wants to hear.. Or the response I want to give to make myself look better in his eyes.. But the honest to God, truth.

I pull in a deep breath and continue.

“Having the network come in and fire me. A few months before that, everyone was calling me a bad boss because I was letting my personal life bleed into my professional one. I didn’t listen, but the network did. Got my ass out of there as quickly as they could. Replaced me with what they claim is a suitable replacement, ‘considering the circumstances.”

I even go through the effort of bringing my hands up and air quoting, rolling my eyes as I let my hands fall idly back into my lap.

“The worst part is knowing that I fucked up. I spent a lot of time blaming Bridges, blaming the network, blaming JD.. and while that last one did have at least half the fault in this situation – I can’t look at anyone but myself for what I did and how I ran Carnage.”

So much drama could have been avoided, so much heartache and pain… If I’d of kept things where they should have been. I don’t know. It’s hard to think about all the wrongs I’ve done, and the old me would have pushed them into the back of her mind and continued doing whatever in the hell she wanted – but I just can’t keep doing that to myself… and everyone around me.

Especially now.

“Takes a big person to admit that.”

He says, turning towards me and bringing one of his legs up on the couch so he can face me. I shrug my shoulders in response. There’s not really much more I can say. I’ve lost my company, my husband… my pride. Now I have to work to rebuild my life and myself so that nothing like this happens again.

The dog walks over and lays her head on my lap. I can’t help but to smile as I pet her head softly.

“Too bad I didn’t change anything about it before.. Him.”

“So about him.. Why do you hate him so much? I mean I could probably figure it out, but I’d rather hear it straight from your mouth.”

I roll my eyes and turn my body so that I’m facing Joey. I mean, I thought that answer was obvious.

“This is going to sound dumb, but bear with me. Bridges, he’s all about the money. Just like the network.”

“Aren’t they supposed to be?”

I put my finger up to my mouth, shushing him playfully. I’m not done yet.

“I told you to bear with me. Yeah, they’re businesses and businessmen. I understand the need to make money in business. I get it. But they’re too narrow minded, you know? There’s more to this wrestling business than getting asses in seats.. It’s about keeping those asses in those seats.”

“Well yeah.. Without Baltimore we’re nothing.”

“Exactly. So yeah, Bridges is doing good now.. But the Legion is already growing restless. I mean come on, he pretty much pushed Melody to the world title single handedly. He’s held Will down maliciously, he fired Lucas Silva for helping me in the last Wargames match… Busted the poor kid back down to ring crew. None of this garnered himself any favor with the people of Baltimore. I wasn’t perfect at running this place, but I didn’t shit on the people here either.”

I feel something rising up in my chest… Pride maybe? Just a little? Maybe there was something that I did right in my tenure as owner of Carnage Wrestling? I don’t know, I guess that’s up to interpretation.

“Yeah, I fucked up a lot – but damnit I never tried to take Carnage Wrestling out of the place it belongs.. Carnage was never meant for world tours. It was meant to stay here, in the carnage arena.. Even if it costs the place money in the long run.. Without Baltimore and the Legion – we would have never gotten off the map. I don’t know. Sure, national exposure is great.. But isn’t that what the network is for?”

He nods his head.

“Taking Carnage out of Baltimore is the worst thing they could do. Sure, I let us go to Japan for the last Underground, but Tweeder flew a lot of the Legion over there, just so they could experience it with us. I don’t know Joey… I just have a bad feeling about what Bridges is doing. I know it’s not right. And I know it’s my fault.”

I feel so damned guilty. Carnage wasn’t meant for traveling. It wasn’t meant for anyone but the people of Baltimore. That was Doctor Winns vision too. He never wanted his creation to leave this town – to become the same as every other place out there. So what if it doesn’t make as much money as going from city to city?

For most of the people in Carnage, it’s not about the money. It’s about doing what you love, where you love…

I lower my gaze to my hands, wrenching them around the water bottle as silence settles between Joey and I. I just hit him with a pretty rough story, and hell.. I don’t blame him if he doesn’t know what to say. But after a few moments, he slides closer and his hand comes under my chin, lifting my face up to his.

“None of that matters anymore. Just keep fighting for what you know is right. That’s all you can do.”

I nod my head.

He’s right. I just have to keep going.

 

Date May 13th 2018 / Time 8:45PM / Status Not Recording
Location The Charleston Civic Center – Charleston, West Virginia

I hate being here.

I hate fucking being here.

Sure, it’s a nice place. Okay, great. A lot nicer than the old warehouse back in Baltimore. I get it. But it’s not the Carnage Arena.

I look down at my cell phone in my hand, and groan when I see that I’ve got three missed calls from JD. The damn phone never even rang.

It might be nice here, but the cell service fucking blows.

I look up as the crowd cheers.. I wonder what match is going on right now. It’s been hell sitting here waiting.. Just fucking waiting for ours to come. It’s felt like forever. I guess that’s because I’m nervous.

I’ve been pacing around here all evening. Stretching, shaking, worrying…

What if I let Will down?

What if I let him down just like I did in Wargames?

He’s trusting me to have his back here tonight. He’s trusting that I’m as invested in this fight as he is.. Or else he’d of gone to someone else that has a bone to pick with Bridges.

And I am. God damnit I am.

But there’s always that little bit of doubt, buried deep down in the back of my mind. I’m not exactly the brightest star around here. Hell, I couldn’t even beat Melody in my third fucking try. I couldn’t even make it past the beginning stages of the Wargames match. Sure, I see myself most of the time as one badass woman who can take a beating.. But at the end of the day.. If I don’t have something to show for it other than blood and more scars than I can count.. What am I actually accomplishing other than shortening my life?

I haven’t accomplished shit in this last year. Instead I’ve cost myself just about everything I hold dear. Instead I’ve forced myself to have to hit the reset button on my entire life just to get through all of this.

Yet here I am, fighting the same fight I’ve been fighting since the night Jason Bridges fired me. What am I hoping to prove? That I’m the rightful leader of Carnage?

I think I’ve already proven that I can’t handle that job… No matter how much I loved it.

And I did love it.

I loved it more than anything.. I just didn’t appreciate it. I didn’t appreciate it until it was taken from me.

My phone beeps again in my hand, indicating another voicemail.

“God damnit. Piece of shit…”

I need to find somewhere to get some signal. What the fuck JD wants is beyond me… Then again it’s Mother’s day, isn’t it? I haven’t talked to baby girl in a few days – Maybe he’s doing something nice for a change.. Letting me talk to her for a few minutes…

I begin walking down the hall, trying to find somewhere that gets any kind of decent signal and I see a door at the end of the hall. Looks like a maintenance stairwell or something. I push through the door and head up the stairs.

It’s worth a shot.

As I round the corner and head up the next flight, I stop and look up to see Jack Michaels standing there, his robe and his own cell phone in his hands. I raise my eyebrows in surprise as he looks down at me.

“Jack? What are you doing up here?

 

People talk.

That’s a given, considering the business that we’re all in.

People fucking talk, a lot.

I’ve taken my fair share of jabs over this last year or so. People don’t hesitate to say what they feel about the shit I’ve done in the past, none more than our current boss – Jason Bridges. And I get it, I really do. I definitely get it more than I did a year ago when I lost my job and lost the one thing that I hold above anything else – Well, besides my daughter.

I’ve been Carnage Wrestling since day one. Whether I’d like to admit it or not, my fucking heart beats for this place – and the town in which it was created. I know I’ve not always shown that, but I guess if all of you could get a look inside my head and my heart; you’d understand why that is. Regardless though, I know that my actions and my decisions affected everyone’s view on not only myself as an owner and a human being, but their view of Carnage Wrestling as well.

What I’m trying to say here… As much as it pains me to say it… Is that while Jason Bridges is the scum of the earth and you can’t believe like seventy percent of the shit that comes from his mouth… that other thirty percent? More specifically the things he’s said about me?

He’s right.

Yeah, Jason.. You’re right about me. I was bad for Carnage. I let my personal shit bleed into the business that I was tasked with running. But if you think for one single second that that fact makes me feel like I don’t deserve to be here right now, fighting you for what I feel is right in my heart? Well that’s just another thing that you’re dead wrong about.

Sure, I’ve fucked up and I’ve made mistakes. I accept that. Hell, I’ve even apologized for it. But even I know that apologies only go so far. I let my problems with my (then) husband get in the way of running a successful business. Because Carnage was and is successful. That’s something I’ll disagree with you on until the day I die… because despite my issues, and despite all of my fuck ups, Carnage Wrestling continued to prosper under my leadership. It continued drawing crowds and making the almighty dollar while I myself was falling the fuck apart.

And I was falling apart.

But in the words of Dr. Thomas Wayne, why do we fall? So that we can learn to pick ourselves back up.

And that’s what I’ve been doing. Slowly but surely. I’ve been picking up the pieces of myself and gluing them fuckers back together. I’ve done the shit tasks you’ve wanted me to, Jason. I’ve dealt with everything you’ve thrown my way and I’ve watched. Most importantly I’ve waited for my opportunity to prove to you, and everyone who’s been let down by me – that I can and I will make this right.

Here is it, that opportunity. I admit, I got a little ahead of myself at Wargames. Not that I didn’t have a solid fucking team behind me, but I realize now that my eyes really weren’t on what was really important. Sure, beating your team and getting my one on one match with you would have been spectacular and I would have felt totally justified in whooping your ass and showing everyone what a little bitch you really are.

But we didn’t. The better team won that night, and as much as I hate losing, and as much as I hate feeling like I failed.. I did. My team didn’t fail me. I failed them and I failed everyone in that backstage area, and everyone in those stands who feel the same exact way I do.

And that’s what’s really important. Kicking your ass isn’t the most important thing, although it is the icing on the cake. But what’s really the prize here? What do Will and I get aside from seeing you squirm, Jason?

Nothing.

We get to feel good about getting some measure of revenge for the things you’ve done to us, and the things you’ve done to turn Carnage Wrestling into far more of a joke than what it was under the leadership of Kyra Mohr. Because let’s face it, you screwing Will and giving the belt back to Melody? That’s not something a true leader does. A true leader lets the talent fight it out and whoever wins, wins. That’s that. There’s nothing more, and nothing less.

But you took matters into your own hands and YOU decided what was best for Carnage. But that’s not for you to decide, at least not in that aspect. I know, because I was in your shoes once, Jason – and I had to make the tough decisions. My own husband went behind my back and screwed Brad Jackson out of the world title, gave it to Ana… If you’re a true fan of Carnage, then you’ll remember. I could have just went along with it, I could have let it go… But that’s not what a fucking leader does.. NO MATTER what the consequences are.

I went against the man I loved and I did what was right for Carnage. I did what was fair. But everyone saw that as marital drama. Yeah, it was, but deep down? It was me showing that this business means EVERYTHING to me.

Carnage Wrestling means EVERYTHING to me.

So do what you’re going to do, Jason. Sick your little minions on me and Will, but we won’t back down. We’ll fight until we can’t fight any longer because this fight isn’t just about being wronged.. It’s about showing you and the Legion and the fucking world that Carnage Wrestling is better than that. It’s better than some lowly piece of shit cheapening what the rest of us hold so God damned dear. It’s better than turning itself into just another wrestling promotion that’s worried about nothing but the money it can take from the people who are the lifeblood of this business.

Carnage Wrestling is more.

I might not be the leader that Carnage Wrestling needs, but neither are you Jason. Neither are you.

And if you think for one fucking second that ripping Carnage Wrestling away from its roots isn’t going to kill it – then you don’t know Carnage Wrestling at all. But I’m not going to let it die, Will and I, we’re not going to let you kill it. We’re not going to let the money grubbing network executives kill it.

The Network be damned.

Carnage was fine before the network and it’ll be fine after.

We’re different. At least we were. Don’t you get that? You can’t turn us into just another OWF or another Boardwalk… You can’t just make us blend in with the rest of the wrestling world. You can’t just take us away from the place that built us and expect us to thrive. That’s not Carnage.

Baltimore is Carnage and Carnage is Baltimore. That’s the way it is, and that’s the way it will always be, Jason.

But I guess you’ll have to find that out the hard way. And I guess I’m going to have to go through Robert Zodiac and Sebastian Steel in order to teach you that lesson because I’m not only fighting for myself and for Will Prydor.. I’m fighting for those people back in Baltimore who don’t deserve the shit you’ve given them. I’m fighting for Carnage Wrestlings future, a future you don’t care about unless it’s done your way. Well guess what motherfucker? You don’t always get what you want… And come Sunday night.. You’re going to fucking realize that without a shadow of a doubt.

I’m not going anywhere.

And I’m going to fight to bring Carnage back to what it once was, without you.

 

OOC: Thanks to Joey for use of Joseph War and Thanks to Dustin for Jack Michaels!  PS, Read Jack Michaels RP if you wanna see the conclusion to that second section!