Date July 24th 2018 / Time 11:16AM / Status Not Recording
Location Presence Saint Joseph Hospital – Chicago, Illinois

After last night, I don’t even want to be here right now.

“Excuse me, Ma’am?”

I glance up at the nurse, standing in the doorway of the waiting room. She motions through the door, where they just took Maggie for her MRI.

“Would you like to go with her?”

Without a thought, I shake my head. The woman nods her head and goes through the doorway, letting the door close behind her. I sigh softly and sit back in my chair, crossing my arms over my chest.

Hell no I don’t want to accompany her back there. I’d rather not be here at all, but when I make a promise.. I keep it.

I told you…

I roll my eyes and look around the room at everyone else, obviously here for many varying reasons. None of them are probably here because their ‘girlfriend’ decided to go behind their back and get them taken out of a match that she shouldn’t have been in to begin with… And then gets herself hurt even worse than she already was – forcing this little hospital visit.

Yet she’s the one angry at me because I threw in the towel to keep Alan from ripping her arm clean off her body.

I told you she didn’t care.

Yeah… That much is pretty damn obvious, isn’t it?

I just don’t get her sometimes. Even if she wanted to keep me out of the match because she knew I didn’t like the idea of handicapping someone else, or that she didn’t like the very same thing, or that she thought I needed extra time to ‘recover’ from my own injuries… None of that shit matters.

She didn’t talk to me about it.

She didn’t see what I thought about it.

Nope. She just went out there on her own and nearly got herself put on the shelf for good. At least that’s how it sits right now. After this MRI, she may have fucked herself into an early retirement. I don’t know. All I know right now is that she’s angry at me and I’m just as, if not more fucking angry at her for being so childish and stupid.

You should just leave.

“Trust me, I’m going to…”

I mumble to myself. As soon as they let me know she’s done with the MRI. As soon as I keep my promise to JK, then I’m out of here. She so obviously doesn’t need, or want my help so whatever.

If you would have listened…

I shake my head softly. Just because he was right about one thing doesn’t mean this stupid voice is right about everything. But I should have known. I really and honestly should have realized that this is just the kind of person Maggie is.

“Ma’am?”

Again, I look back up – taking a quick glance at the clock, feeling shocked that nearly a half hour has passed since I saw this woman last. I stand up and move towards those double doors.

“Yes?”

“Miss Lockheart is out of the MRI. Would you like to go back and see her no–”

“Nope. Thank you for letting me know.”

I turn and pull my phone out of my pocket. Time to let JK know and get this entire thing out of my hands because I’m done.

Sometimes it doesn’t seem worth it, does it?

I shrug my shoulders as I head towards the exit.

“Sometimes…”

 

Date July 27th 2018 / Time 9:51PM / Status Not Recording
Location The Wylde Residence – New York City, New York

It’s not really that surprising that I’ve not gotten a phone call or a text from my so-called girlfriend since we briefly spoke over Twitter the other day. But to replace those calls and texts, it’s seemed like Joe has picked up where she left off.

I’ve ignored the calls though.

Probably for the best, he’s probably going to betray you as well.

I sigh and stare at the screen of my phone as it rings, looking at the picture of Joe that I took at a show – a picture he wasn’t all too happy about.

“Joe’s not that type of person. He wouldn’t keep things from me.”

You said the same thing about Magdalena.

Good point.

I let the phone go to voicemail again, watching the phone go black before I drop it down onto the floor beside me. There’s really no use in getting into a conversation with him. He’ll probably ask me if I’ve contacted his therapist yet, or he’ll ask what in the world is going on with Maggie and I again…

Neither of which I care to answer right now.

I know he cares. I know that’s why he asks. I just wish I gave a flying fuck about any of it right now.

Do you really think seeing someone is going to solve your problem?

“I hoped it would.”

I’m a part of you, Lucille. You just need to start listening to me.

I glance around the darkened room, feeling even more empty as I look around the sparsely populated area. I’ve not really moved any new furniture in here since everything happened with Gabriel. I haven’t had the motivation.

Things haven’t really been going my way.

“Listening to you… Yeah. Right. We both know what your end game is… Dad.”

Silence fills the room. Shocking, considering I was expecting an immediate response from him… Yet nothing.

That’s fine with me.

It’s bad enough some of the shit he’s warned me about is right. I don’t need any more of it to be.

My phone starts ringing again and again I see Joe’s face on the screen. Part of me wants to answer it this time, to rebel against what this damned voice is telling me… Because I care about Joe too… And he’s never been anything but honest with me. In light of recent events – That’s not something I can take for granted, not anymore.

Then answer it.. But you know that you can’t trust that. You might know what my endgame is, Lucille.. But I’m starting to think that that’s YOUR endgame too.