Date July 20th 2020 / Time Unknown / Status Not Recording
Location Carnage Wrestling’s Chaos 95 – Baltimore, Maryland

“We got you, Mags…”

I say softly as Mac and I help Maggie backstage. She’s still struggling to stand as we guide her over to a chair down the hall and sit her down.

“I’m gonna go get the doctor, you got her Lucy?”

Mac says, motioning towards the medical suite. I nod my head, keeping my eyes on Maggie. She hasn’t said a word since Mac helped her from the ring – and honestly she doesn’t really look like she knows where she is right now.

“Yeah, I got her Mac. Thank you.”

He nods and walks away, leaving me alone with her.

Mac Bane. Good man. A good man who just won the match he just had with her and instead of showboating, or walking away.. He stayed. He made sure she made it back here and now he’s making sure she’s going to get the help she requires… Because there’s definitely something wrong right now, and it’s worrying.

Worrying because Myra Lynwood (No need to learn anymore about her because she’s a momentous BITCH) nearly caved Maggie’s head in with the ring bell months and months ago. I admittedly don’t know much about what happened afterwards because Maggie disappeared.. She went away until about a month or so ago when she returned in my old mask.

The Jenova mask.

Maggie closes her eyes and lets her head fall forward.

“Maggie.. Maggie.. Don’t go to sleep. The doctors will be here soon, okay?”

I say, shaking her until she opens her eyes again. She looks at me, but I don’t see anything in her eyes… Nothing – and that makes my heart sink into my stomach. I pull my gaze away from her and look around us at all the activity going on in the hallway. Not one damn person gives a flying fuck that she’s hurt…

It’s like CJ was right in saying that no one cared when Myra did that and injured her before. No one gave a shit then, and they don’t give a shit now.

But I was one of them…

Last time.

I didn’t do anything when I saw that stupid bitch do that with no regard to the fact that she could’ve ended Maggie’s life right then and there. I just sat back and let it happen because… Well, I don’t even know why. Maybe I was still sore at her for the shit she did and said to Joe and I. Maybe I was scared… I don’t know. All I know is I’m just as bad as all these emotionless assholes who can just walk by while someone suffers.

Hell, the man who caused her injuries right now is the one getting the doctors. I guess that’s just saying something as to the character of one Mac Bane compared to the character of every other person mulling around this locker room.

Maggie’s head falls forward and I shake her again as I hear a frantic voice coming from behind me.

“Is she okay?! Where is she?”

I turn my head to see a dark haired woman rushing over to where I’m knelt beside her. Her girlfriend, I’m assuming.

“Maggie?”

She kneels down in front of Maggie, taking both of Maggie’s hands in her own.

I open my mouth to say something, but nothing comes out.

What the hell do I even say to her? She obviously has no interest in anything I have to say – rightfully so. I can’t even reassure her at this point… I don’t know what’s wrong, I don’t know if Maggie will be okay.

After a few moments of silence, she turns her head towards me.

“Where are the God damned doctors?”

I shake my head.

“Mac went to get them.. I don’t know. I..”

It feels like there’s an entire family of frogs in my throat, made up entirely of guilt and sadness that this poor woman – these poor women have to suffer like this. It’s such a shame – It really is. All I ever wanted for Maggie, regardless of what happened between she and I, was happiness.

I know I’m overreacting, I really hope I’m overreacting and this is just a concussion. But the uncertainty of it is driving me insane… I just want the doctors to get here, I want them to take care of her and I want her to walk away from this.

“Y-You’re Lucy. Right?”

I nod my head.

“Yeah.”

Silence settles between us as the world goes on around us. After a few moments though, Maggie’s girlfriend stands up and sighs.

“Well I’m not waiting all God damned night.  I’m gonna go call for an ambulance, Maggie?  I’ll be right back… I love you.”

She finishes, leaning in and kissing Maggie softly on the top of her head. She glances down at me, her eyes silently asking if I’ll stay here while she makes the call. I nod my head and she moves off, her phone already in hand.

I gotta respect the woman’s determination.  Not willing to sacrifice a second of precious time when it comes to making sure the woman she loves is taken care of.  I’m glad Maggie found someone like her.  She seems like she’s got a solid head on her shoulders – And she really does care.

I can see it in her eyes. 

Cared more than I did, I suppose… That thought makes my stomach clench with guilt.  But there’s no time for that now.  I turn my attention back to my former girlfriend, friend, partner… whatever you want to call her and I sigh softly, placing my hand on hers.

“Maggie… It’s going to be okay. I.. I, uh… I’m sorry.”

Just what she wants to hear right now, right? But instead of shutting up and waiting… I keep going.

There’s just a few things I gotta say.

“I’m sorry that I wasn’t there for you when you needed me. I’m sorry I let all these things happen to you – You said I was selfish, that I was only looking out for myself. You were right, I guess. You gotta be okay… Okay? I don’t want this for you.. I never did. But I guess I did a pretty bad job of showing it, huh?”

She doesn’t answer. I didn’t really expect her to… Hell, I don’t even know if she’ll remember any of this. I swallow hard and press on.

“Yeah, I fucked up. I ain’t worthy of that pedestal that you put me on, Mags. I ain’t worth you putting yourself through all this for the sake of protecting my legacy… You’re better than that. You’re so much better than that. I’m… I’m just sorry I let you down so many times, Maggie…”

“Ambulance is on the way.”

Maggie’s girlfriend says as she approaches.

“Thanks for staying with her.”

I shrug my shoulders and stand up, finally coming eye to eye with her.

“She’d do the same for me… And she has. Too many times to count.”

“I’m Amber, by the way.”

We exchange a brief handshake before she’s back down on her knees in front of Maggie, holding her hands for dear life as I just stand there like a fucking fool.

“Amber… I–”

I stop as Amber begins speaking to Maggie again.

“I knew this would happen… God damnit…”

I can hear the strain in her voice, the all encompassing worry for the woman she loves. Jesus Christ, this must’ve been how Maggie felt when they found me in that warehouse after my father kidnapped me. The pain in Amber’s face as she tries to soothe Maggie, it hits me hard.

“Maggie…? Maggie!”

Amber’s cries pull me from my thoughts and I look up to see Maggie’s head dipped down again. She shakes her.

“Maggie! Come on honey… Just a few more minutes.”

Maggie slowly lifts her head up and Amber heaves a sigh of relief just as I see the EMT’s coming towards us. Thank God.

I take a few steps back, watching them take no time at all in getting Maggie loaded up onto a stretcher with Amber right by her side the entire time, holding her hand and talking to her the entire time. Just as they’re getting ready to move her, Amber takes one more look back at me. I look back, my eyes lowering to Maggie.

“Hey, please let me know how she’s d–”

I stop myself mid-sentence as they rush back towards the exit.

Do I want to know if she’s okay? Yes. Absolutely. Without a doubt.

Do I deserve to know?

…

I don’t.

I’ve caused Magdalena Lockheart enough hurt.

I was her childhood hero for fucks sake. I was the example that she looked up to… And what a great example I ended up being. Look at her now. Look at all she’s been through, because of me.

I shake my head and turn away once they’re out of view, heading back towards Joe’s office. This night started out fun. Pizza party. Celebrating my Wrestlestock victory. Feeling good. Feeling like I’m on my way to proving that I have a firm grasp on my legacy.

And now?

Now I’m wondering who in the fuck I think I am, and what in the hell I think I’m doing.

And if my legacy is really even worth a damn.

It sure as hell isn’t worth Maggie’s, or anyone else’s well-being.

 

Date July 24th 2020 / Time 11:21AM / Status Not Recording
Location The Lee/Wylde Residence – New York City, New York

“You haven’t drank your coffee?”

Joe says, stepping out onto the patio behind me. I glance away from the city view and over at my cup.

“Now I know something’s wrong.”

I sigh and pick up the cup. Yep. Still full.

“I’m fine Joe.”

“Yeah, sure. And I’m really Jesus Christ.”

He walks around in front of me, motioning for me to move my legs so he can sit down in front of me. I oblige, only because I like him and he takes a seat, his eyes looking me over before he once again speaks.

“Come on, out with it.”

I roll my eyes and lay my head back against the headrest of the chair.

“You know what’s wrong. We’ve been over this.”

“Luce… You’re the guiltiest person I know, you know that?”

I let out a humorless chuckle. Leave it to Joe to give it to me straight. No filter.

“I keep giving myself reasons to feel guilty, so yeah. Guess you’re right.”

I close my eyes and he sighs.

“Don’t fucking sigh at me. If Maggie never fucking knew me, she wouldn’t be in the position she’s in right now. God only knows how she’s doing.”

“She put herself there, Luce.”

“No the fuck she didn’t, Joe. Yeah, I get it she made some choices but God damnit, where would she be if she wouldn’t of gotten involved with me?”

“You didn’t put a gun to her head and force her into the choices she made.”

I open my eyes and stare at him, our eyes locking in a silent battle of who can be more stubborn. I guess it depends on the day as to who wins. Today, I’m feeling kinda lucky.

“Maybe not but I sure as hell didn’t help things, now did I?”

“Lucy, blaming yourself doesn’t change a damn thing.”

I grit my teeth and turn my head away – staring out at the cityscape once again. I’d tell him that he has no idea how this feels, but I know that ain’t the truth. Not by a long shot. I know he’s been in this position. It doesn’t make me feel any better though.

“Her career could be over, because of protecting my legacy.”

“You–”

“And here I am, doing God knows what. Why am I still able to go out there and do this when someone like her… Someone with such a bright fucking future could just be gone.. Gone and forgotten like she was never the future of this business?”

And then I feel them – One tear, and then two; softly rolling down my face. I feel his fingertips touch my cheeks, wiping them away just as quickly as they came. I shake my head and turn my eyes back to him.

“It’s not fucking fair. And I know exactly what you’re thinking, Joe. You’re thinking that it serves her right for doing all the shitty things she’s done. You’re thinking that she dug this hole and it’s only fitting that now she’s laying in it. I could’ve said the same thing about you, you know?”

He nods his head.

“I’d deserve that too. I know what I am… Who I am.”

“That’s not the point!”

“Isn’t it?”

“No!”

I slam my fist down on the table, spilling my coffee all over it and myself. Lucky for me it’s cold, I guess. But now my outfit is wet and stained and all the wind has been taken out of my sails.

Maybe I’m just taking this too far.

I’m manufacturing a reason to feel bad when I never asked for her to jump in and do what she did. It’s just hard to accept that because she’s always been one of the people I knew I could count on. She was always someone who put me before herself, or anyone else for that matter.

God damnit, it’s like I’m going in circles in my mind.

I hate this.

“Fuck.. Maybe you’re right. I don’t know. I just… I don’t want things to be this way. I just want her to be okay and… happy.”

“That’s because you’re a good person.”

I scoff.

“Bullshit.”

Sure don’t feel like a good person right now.

“Fine, Luce. You win. I’m not gonna sit here and listen to you shit on yourself because I know you’re not the terrible person you want to portray yourself as. Were you a factor in the decisions some of us made? Yeah, of course you were. But they were still our choices, for better or for worse.”

He gets up and starts to move back towards the condo, but I grab his arm on his way past. I can’t let this conversation end like this. This is why we’re going to therapy after all.

“Joe..”

I run my fingertips softly along the lines of his hand, his eyes staring a hole through me – analyzing me – Trying to figure out what I’m going to say next, I suppose.

“I get what you’re saying and I’m sorry for making this so difficult on you. I forget that when I feel negatively about myself, it affects you too.”

I feel a bit of heat rising to my cheeks. I hate making him feel bad.

“It’s okay, Luce.”

I nod and let his hand go, bringing myself up off the chair as well and grab what’s left of my coffee.

“Yeah, it will be… I Guess we gotta get ready to head to counseling, huh?”

“Shit, yeah – I didn’t even realize it was already time for that.”

“Time flies when you’re having fun, I guess.”

He shrugs and heads for the door again. I follow but I nearly knock him over when he stops in the doorway and turns around.

“You know.. You could always make it up to me by telling me what you’ve decided to do with that Wrestlestock win of yours…”

He says with a sly grin on his lips.

“You wish.”

I reply almost immediately, moving past him and back into the condo, listening to him grumble behind me.

“God damnit.”

 

I gotta give it to you, Tempest. You’re an interesting lil guy. There’s a part of me that’s not sure what to make of you, honestly. But there’s another, larger part that knows exactly what to make of you…

First impressions?

You look like a knock off halloween store mannequin. No offense, obviously. If that’s your thing, who am I to say anything?

And maybe that’s my ego talking, right?

Maybe that’s just me being a bitch for no other reason than I came into Wrestlestock and won the entire God damned Cup and you… Well you couldn’t make it happen in the one night you had your chance to keep the Chaos Championship.

But that’s not it, Temp. Yeah, I’m riding high on that win – I’m damn proud of it too. But the fact that you lost the Chaos Championship, that doesn’t really mean much to me. I’ve seen you fight, I saw you beat Kenzi for that championship – I know you mean business.

I’m not underestimating you.

Anyone who knows me knows that I don’t underestimate anyone.

It’s just, I do hope you’re not gonna try and get into my head. Been there, done that with a certain Doctor who you’re already familiar with. You saw what happened to the Good Doctor Baal when he fucked with my head, right? Spoiler alert: It didn’t end well for him.

So do me a favor, okay sweetie… Don’t try your mind games with me. I’d hate to extinguish such an… vibrant flame so soon, you know?

Something tells me though that you honestly can’t help yourself. Gotta have enough ‘toys’ to keep that mind of yours busy, huh? I’d say you should stop breaking them if you wanna keep playing, but I feel like I’d be giving you far too much credit… Far too much power.

That’s what this is about, isn’t it?

Power.

You think that when you do what you do, when you go shopping in an abandoned grocery store, or.. Well that’s my main example here… But you think it gives you power over whoever you’re facing.  However… It makes it that much easier to guess what you’re gonna do next. I could be wrong, I probably am. Wouldn’t be the first time I’ve made an ass out of myself by assuming too much about someone I’m not familiar with.

But let’s just say I’m right.

What’re you gonna do this week?

You gonna go dig up my dead daddy and dance with him in a ballroom? Oh shit, sorry – That one’s been done already. I’d hate for you to copy someone else’s trope.

Maybe you’ll paint half your face to look like my fiance… Try to rile me up that way.. Try to take my eyes off the prize? Nah, that’s too easy for even you. Besides, you don’t look like the type of guy who enjoys repeat performances.

Whatever you do, honey – I just hope you know that Lucy Wylde isn’t just ‘another UGWC vet, coming back to tell you how much better I am than you.’ I mean I can tell you that all I want, but just like at Wrestlestock, I’m here to fucking PROVE it. I’m here to show you what I’m made of, Tempest. You and everyone else who may have forgotten.

I’m not in the business of stepping into the ring with anyone being completely confident that I’m gonna walk out victorious. I talk a good game, sure. Don’t we all? But all this talk doesn’t mean jack shit if I don’t back it up in the ring.

So yeah, I can sit here and say that you’re one motion activated, severed hand candy bowl away from owning your own Spirit of Halloween franchise – but in reality, what you look like and what you say means nothing to me. It doesn’t mean a God damned thing.

Come to Synergy and show me why you were the Chaos Champion. Show me what kind of fighter you are so that when I beat you – I know that I earned it.

I have no doubt that you’ll do just that. You don’t seem like the type who half-asses anything.

Neither am I.

I guess that’s why I’m back.

Leaving the way I did, it didn’t sit well with me. I thought I could live with it – and for a while, I did. Deep down inside, though, it gnawed at me. It ate me from the inside out, the feeling that I hadn’t accomplished all that I wanted to accomplish here in the UGWC.

So look out kiddies. Lucy’s back in the big kids pool now, and she’s not gonna stop til she’s done everything there is to do around here.

And I guess that starts with whooping your ass, Tempest.

See you soon, dear.

OOC: Mac Bane, Maggie Lockheart & JC Used with Permission!