“Just fucking do it.”

Ken and Kyra Davison are sitting on the porch of the Daniela Restaurant and enjoying this sunny Baltimore afternoon. The brown wicker chairs are thankfully more comfortable than they look, and most certainly more comfortable than Ken is at that moment. His body language is stiff, almost defensive. Kyra reinforces her words by pointing her fork directly at her husband.

“Why? So I can be the third wheel? It’s one match, we don’t have to get along. We just have to win. You know Lucy isn’t thrilled with me.. and Seb, well, he’s Seb.”

Kyra’s eyes roll, although at this point both Davisons know how stubborn they both are… at least, they should.

“You’re the one that started this fire. You need to be the one to put it out. It’s not like you ever apologized to Lucy. Don’t you think you should consider doing that?”

“I don’t like your tone, mama. I’m not here trying to fight with you. I just wanted to have a nice dinner with the woman I love…” Ken hesitates for a split second. “A nice, peaceful dinner.”

“Dammit, Ken. You don’t get it. You need to make things right with Lucy.”

“I told you, it’s one match. It will be fine.”

“You’re so fucking dense sometimes. It’s not about the match. It’s about our FAMILY! Or did you forget she’s my sister, not to mention our children’s aunt?”

“You think that Lucy is even going to give me the time of day? She’s as bullheaded as–”

“You are,” Kyra says flatly, finishing Ken’s sentence.

“As I am…”

Ken had to admit defeat. Kyra took all the piss out of him with two simple words. He dejectedly pierces his Caprese and places it in his mouth. The balsamic vinaigrette overpowers his taste buds. More importantly, the chewing buys him time to plan his next step.

“Well?” Kyra presses Ken.

“Well, what? I need a minute. You know I suffer from diarrhea of the mouth and constipation of the brain. I know that I’m never going to see eye to eye with her, but I really do respect her.”

“Then show her that respect. It’s not that hard to call her. It’s not like you don’t have her number.”

“Babe, I doe….”

Kyra interrupts Ken by sliding her cell phone across the table. On the screen: Lucy’s contact information.

“Shit.” Ken lets out a sigh. “You’re actually going to make me do this, aren’t you?”

“I’m not going to make you do a Kendamned thing. You’re going to answer these three questions, then you are going to decide. One: Do you love me? Two: Do you want to do what’s best for our family? Three: Do you realize that this is more important than some stupid wrestling match?”

Ken doesn’t say a word. He pulls Kyra’s phone over and starts typing in the number. Kyra reaches across the table and grabs his cheeks, gently forcing him to make eye contact with her.

“Hey, don’t do this for me. I’m just telling you that I went through all that shit because of where I was with Lucy. How many nights did you lie awake just holding me because I kept having flashbacks? How much time and effort did you put into making things right between Lucy and me because that’s what’s best for Adina? You put in all that time. Just because things are weird, that doesn’t mean you can’t take another minute to extend the olive branch.”

The scowl that has been sitting on Ken’s face is still firmly planted on it. He looks down for a couple of more seconds before dropping his phone down, as loudly as possible, on the table.

“There. Happy?” The exasperation in his voice comes through, despite trying to stifle it. Kyra’s right. He knows she’s right. But, he doesn’t want to admit that she’s right. “Well?”

Kyra smirks despite herself. The little twinkle in her eye gives away exactly how amused she is.

“Let me see that,” she says as she grabs his phone off the table. Kyra puts her hand over her mouth to stop herself from laughing too loudly. “Did you? Really? I can’t. I can’t believe you did that. Is that what I think it is?”

“Yes. It’s a picture of an olive branch.”

“Did you honestly think that was going to work?”

“It’s a start. Okay?”

“You do it the right way or I swear I will give Adina your phone and Lucy will get a message that says something like ‘Hey, Auntie. It’s Adina. I’m sorry my daddy’s being a stinky poophead. Please talk to him. He needs help.’ That’s almost exactly what the message would say and you know it.”

For the first time in a while, a smile breaks Ken’s expression of annoyance.

“It can’t be that hard. You talked to me after we had two bloodbaths in the ring. Lucy’s like fifty percent me, and probably the nicer half.”

“You make it sound as though that’s any less threatening.”

Kyra simply stares Ken down, giving him as serious of a look as she can muster at the moment.

“Alright. Alright. You win.”

“Don’t be a dick.” Ken waits for the punch to the arm that usually accompanies one of Kyra’s insults. It never comes.

“Hey, what’s that one pizza place in Chicago you like?”

“Vito and Nick’s.”

Ken presses a button on his phone and it gives off a noise to let him know that it’s recording.

“Hey. Why don’t we get together and talk about strategy before the match? You, me, and Seb. Vito and Nick’s the night before the show. I want to make sure we’re on the same page.”

The phone beeps again, announcing that it is done recording. Ken presses the send button and slides the phone to Kyra for approval. She picks it up and nods at Ken.

“Was that so hard?”

“Yes,” Ken grumbles, complete with crossing his arms to cement his grumpy old man status. Suddenly, a car comes cruising by blasting its radio. An all-too-familiar piano intro plays, catching the couple’s attention.

“Making my way downtown Walking fast, faces pass and I’m homebound,” croons Vanessa Carlton’s voice.

“I hate this fucking song,” quips Ken.

 

“Making my way down town, Walking fast, faces pass and I’m homebound!” Sang Sebastian at the top of his lungs.  “Staring blankly ahead, Just making my way, Making a way through the crowd!”

“… What the fuck are you doing?” Asked Lucy, glancing at Seb as he took both of his hands off the steering wheel of the hire car they were in. “WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!”

Seb reapplied his hands to the steering wheel but increased the peril by taking his eyes off the road and looking directly at Lucy.

“And I need you, And I miss you, And now I wonder…” Seb sang.

“Oh don’t you dare, Sebastian Everett-Bryce!” Said Lucy, with wide eyes.

“If I could fall into the sky, Do you think time would pass me by? ‘Cause you know I’d walk a thousand miles If I could just see you…” Seb paused, building the tension, Lucy opened her mouth to say something but before she could speak…  “TONIGHT!”

“Oh… my… god.” Said Lucy as Seb turned his eyes back to the road.  “If you sing at me like that again, I’ll make you walk a thousand miles.”

“No can do, Lucy-Lou – the car is in my name, and I haven’t had the chance to drive for a long, long time. And I’m enjoying myself. Which means if either of us are going to get out and walk…” Said Seb.

“It’s gonna be me…” Said Lucy.

“That’s the spirit!” Said Seb, turning to glance at a confused looking Lucy. “I didn’t peg you for an N-Sync fan. Perchance.”

“Oh will you stop?” Said Lucy, allowing herself a small chuckle, glancing down at her phone again, a small Bluetooth bud in her ear. As she did, it beeped. She quickly began tapping away at the screen.

“That’s eerie – were you waiting for that message?” Asked Seb.

“Oh… No… It’s just Ken.” Said Lucy.

“Davison?” Asked Seb.

“No, the doll from the Barbie movie.” Said Lucy, giving Seb an incredulous look. “Of course Ken Davison.”

“No need to be snippy.” Said Seb. “Say hello to Number Two for me.”

“Number two?” Asked Lucy.

“He knows.” Said Seb with a smirk. “What’s he want? Perchance.”

“… To meet with us.” Said Lucy, with a slight look of confusion on her face. “Kyra must have told him we were getting together today and probably made him reach out.”

“Why would anyone need to be made to reach out to me? I’m a delight.” Said Seb looking confused.

“Me, not you.” Said Lucy.

“Oh that makes much more sense.” Said Seb. “Alright – so where are we going?”

“I haven’t decided if we’re going yet.” Said Lucy.

“I mean, I hate to make this point again, but I’m driving so really it’s not up to you.” Said Seb.

“Yes, but I have the address of where he wants to meet, sooo…” Lucy said with a sparkle in her eye.

“And I could drive us to go and visit Matt Knox instead. Wouldn’t that be fun?” Said Seb. Lucy stared at him for a moment with every narrowing eyes.

“Why are you like this?” Lucy asked as she leaned forward to punch the address into the Sat Nav.

“Utterly fabulous and incredibly cute?” Asked Seb.

“… Yes, Sebastian. That’s just it.” Said Lucy, rolling her eyes.

“How very Eden Morgan of you. Perchance.” Said Seb, with a smirk.

“Why the hell do you keep saying perchance?” asked Lucy.

“Word of the day toilet paper in the hotel.” Said Seb.

“Did you even read the definition?” Asked Lucy.

“Nope.” Said Seb.

“Of course you didn’t.” Said Lucy with a chuckle.  “And by the way, I know you wanted to insult me, but I take comparisons to my best friend as a compliment.”

Seb slammed his foot on the break, the car coming to a hard stop in the middle of a busy road.

“Seb what the fuck?!”

“Comparisons to your WHAT now?!” Seb asked with incredulity.

“My best… Oh… Fuck.” Lucy said, turning slightly in her seat. “What I obviously meant to say is my FEMALE best friend.”

“You’d better have meant your FEMALE best friend.” Said Seb, with a scowl.

“Could we maybe start driving again before a semi plows into us from behind?” Asked Lucy.

“You make a good point – if we’re going to get plowed from behind, it best not be a semi.” Said Seb with a smirk. Lucy opened her mouth to admonish him and then…

“I want to tell you off for that, but you’re right.” Lucy said, a little churlishly. “I don’t like it when you’re right.”

“Well get used to it – it’s symptomatic of being my best friend. Ask Thad.” Said Seb, before pausing. “Actually, don’t ask Thad. He never thinks he’s wrong and that kind of rains on my parade. Ask Sloane – she was the predecessor to your current position.”

“Yeah, well, let’s be clear that I’m not looking for her promotion.” Said Lucy.

“I would never – for one thing, I like Rogan. For a second, I would have to spend far too much time focusing on your wardrobe before we could go out on dates. Thirdly… And most importantly… Ew.”

“Hey!” Said Lucy.

“Oh, it’s not an ew, ew. It’s a ‘you’re-like-a-sister-best-friend-not-a-best-friend-I-want-to-marry-one-day-best-friend’.” Said Seb. Before glancing over and catching Lucy looking down at her phone. “Hello?”

“Hmm?” Said Lucy, glancing back up at him.

“… I literally just told you I want to marry Sloane one day and you completely ignored me.” Seb said,

“Oh, sorry.” Said Lucy, glancing back at her phone again. And then she paused, and looked back up at Seb. “Wait… Did you just say…”

“Ohhhh no. You don’t get a second chance at this – you missed it. Now you have to wait for the next time I slip it into a conversation and you get to react to it then.”

“But…” Said Lucy.

“No!” Said Seb.

“I…” Said Lucy.

“Ah, ah, ah…” Said Seb.

“Just…” Said Lucy.

“Sh, sh, shhhhhh.” Said Seb.

“God damnit.” Said Lucy before crossing her arms over her chest.

“What’s going on with you?” Asked Seb, as Lucy lifted her phone up to glance at it again.

“Just waiting for a reply from my BEST FRIEND.” Lucy said before giving Seb a satisfied smirk.

“Now you’re just trying to hurt me.” Said Seb. “Shame on you.”

“Did it work?” Asked Lucy.

“As way to distract me from you being sketchy and focusing on your phone as if you’re waiting for a reply on Tinder. Or Bumble. Or Plenty of Fish. Or Match. Or… Grindr.” Said Seb.

“You have an extensive knowledge of dating apps.” Said Lucy.

“Until roughly four years ago I was essentially, a slut.” Said Seb with a shrug. “Honestly, it was exhausting. I have no idea how I kept up with everything. I would have multiple conversations going across multiple apps, and yet… I WOULD STILL BE LOOKING AT MY PHONE LESS THAN YOU!”

Lucy bit her lip and slowly lifted her eyes from the phone and broke into a smile.

“Hey bestie.” She said in her best imitation of innocence.

“What’s going on, Luce?” Asked Seb.

“Oh, that’s simple. We’re going to meet up with Ken!” Said Lucy, with a sparkle in her eyes. “You know, so we can talk about about our match against Donovan and Phrixus and Tr…”

“… Do not say that name. I’m having a perfectly good day, and I haven’t planned a way to make his head pop off his shoulders.” Said Seb.

“Fair enough – I sense that this is a touchy subject, and I would be a terrible best friend if I launched into a subject about which you’d rather not talk.” Said Lucy.

“Precisely.” Said Seb. Lucy paused for a second.

“So Travis Pierce beat the shit out of you, huh?” Said Lucy.

“Wow.” Said Seb. “Just wow.”

“Oh come on, I’ve been dying to hear all the things you plan on doing to him. Mr. Man of a Million Suplexes or whatever.” Said Lucy.

“Well you’ll have to wait and see Miss Calamitous fashion sense or whatever.” Said Seb.

“You know, you’re just rude sometimes.” Said Lucy.

“You wouldn’t have me any other way.” Said Seb.

“… Why are my two best friends the two people that give me the most shit?” Asked Lucy.

“You might want to ask yourself why you surround yourself with the people who give you the most shit.” Said Seb as Lucy glanced down at her phone. “Sounds like you have a kink to me…”

“… WHAT?!” Said Lucy looking up from her phone with wide eyes.

“Oh, that got your attention.” Said Seb. “You going to tell me what’s going on now?”

“You have arrived at your destination.” Said the SatNav.

“Oh… Damn… And I was just about to tell you.” Said Lucy as Seb pulled the car up into a parking space. “Sorry about your luck.”

“God damn you Lucy Wylde!” Seb said as she opened up the door of the car and started to climb out. He lowered his voice. “God damn you…”

 

The camera opens up to the trio of Sebastian Everett Bryce, Ken Davison, and Lucy Wylde. The two champions seem comfortable standing side by side with their respective Championships draped over their shoulders. Ken stands behind them, with a fairly noticeable distance between himself and his teammates. Despite this, Ken is the first to pipe up.

“I don’t know what else we can say. Hastings is a washed up has been who’s been holding on to what used to be for far too long. Pierce is nothing else but a mark for his own publicity. And Deimos is as useless as a white crayon. Can I go now?”

Lucy takes exception to Ken’s attitude and turns her attention to him.

“I mean, your assessment of the Trio of suck isn’t wrong – But if you don’t wanna be here, no one forced you to be.”

Ken scoffs.

“Man, you really don’t know my wife, do you?”

Lucy thinks about it for a second and begins laughing. After listening to Lucy laugh and watching Ken, and imagining him trying to launch himself into a black hole of grumpiness… A ‘Grack hole’ if you will – He clears his throat.

“Maybe, we should get this over with, as quickly as possible so that you can tell Kyra that you indeed tried and we can…”

Seb wasn’t able to finish his thought.

“Alright, you’ve made your point.” Ken just turns around, giving Seb and Lucy time to speak, but not before mumbling “Not everything is about Kyra… Jesus.” under his breath.

Seb and Lucy, however hear that last part and give one another a look before Seb drops to a knee beside Lucy as Lucy places a hand on her chest, looking shocked.

“Kyra! Wherefore art thou Kyra!”

Seb reaches up and takes Lucys hand.

“My dearest Ken!  It doth not matter what you wish… ”

“My world.. It revolves around you! I shall forever more do anything you doth ask!”

Ken turns around, bright red with that one little vein that signals he’s about to lose his shit popping out of his forehead.

“And that’s a problem for the two of you how? I didn’t come out here for this. And I really, really didn’t come here to be mocked. I told you that I wanted to walk into this match, I wanted to make sure we understood what we had to do, and we handled it. That’s all I wanted. But, this… this is a big steaming pile of ponyloaf. So, are we going to do this or not?”

Lucy releases Sebs hand and turns her attention back to Ken, but not before rolling her eyes.

“Listen, you’ve made it obvious this entire time that you don’t wanna be here. Whether that’s because you lost at Survival of the fittest, or for some other reason… These are the facts. I don’t dislike you Ken. I’m glad you’ve got what you’ve got with my sister but for fucks sake… loosen up. Seb and I have done this enough over the last few months and we’ve just decided we’re gonna have fun with whatever the powers that be decide to throw at us week in and week out. And regardless of how you feel about me, or Seb or whoever.. You damn well know we handle our business, so climb down from that pulpit you’ve got yourself perched on and chill the fuck out.”

Seb let’s out a small belch. Ken and Lucy both turn to look at him.

“… Sorry. I ate too many Sour Skittles and now I feel sick.” Said Seb.”But Lucy is a rather good point, Number two. We’ve been on this train more than once in the past couple of months. T’is how we became best friends in the whole wide world. But if you’re just going to slip back inside your trashcan and oil up your greasy green hair, then you’re just going to be a hindrance to us. And I’d much rather we were all on the same page.”

Seb paused for a moment.

“Oof. Sorry about the hair thing. That was insensitive.” Seb added.

“Where the hell did you find sour skittles?”

Ken looks back and between the two with a look of disbelief.

“You don’t have to worry about me in that ring. I’m not going to be the liability if there is one. In case the two of you forgot I am half of the greatest collaborative team this company has seen in over a decade. We went over a full year without getting pinned or submitted. I know a thing or two about this whole tag team scenario.”

Ken turns and shoves a finger into Seb’s chest.

“And the hair thing is by choice assho… Ugh! Nevermind.”

“… Really? A bob would really frame your face.” Seb added with a shrug. “Thing is, Number Two, that’s not the team you’re a part of this week. You’re now an honorary Angry Pirate. And whilst you’ve got grumpy down to a tee, I’m not sure we’re seeing the fire that’s needed to be our bosun. That being said, I’m going to throw you a bone, so here it is. Aside from Lucy, there’s a very short list of people I would welcome to stand at my side when facing eyebrows and the creep.” Said Seb.

“And Pier…” Lucy began.

“Do not use that name when you address me.” Said Seb.”Eyebrows, The Creep and The Snake. You’re a deadly competitor, alongside one of the greatest World Champions of our generation and THE greatest Champion in UGWC history. We have the advantage. Three of them in fact. You. Me. And Charity Shop Barbie.”

“Hey!” Said Lucy.

“Great. Now they’ll start with the Ken and Barbie bullshit. Be that as it may, I’d like to remind you who it was that offered Lucy back up when all that bullshit with Tempest was going on. You don’t have to worry about me pulling my weight.”

Ken waits for Lucy and Seb to say something and gets nothing.

“Isn’t this the part where one of you two is supposed to give me shit about how if I don’t pull my weight I’m gonna have to go home and answer to Kyra for letting her sister down?”

Lucy shrugs her shoulders. “I figured you did that either way.”

“What the hell is that even supposed to mean? I don’t give a crap… I don’t…”

Ken is struggling to find his words because hes reached such a level of being flabbergasted.

“Do you think I worry about letting you down on a day-to-day basis?”

Lucy pinches the bridge of her nose between her fingers and sighs.

“I was talking about answering to Kyra, but sure.. Let’s go with letting me down.”

“My relationship isn’t on trial here. Why don’t we get back to unibrow, wannabe Jerry Springer, and Dollar Tree Hot Topic?”

“Might as well. This get together has turned out to be as fun as the one I’m sure Donny is having with Voldemort and Voldemort Dark.” Lucy stops and smirks at her joke for a moment, before shaking her head. “Right, no time for fun. It’s just, I’ve run out of shit to say about these fucks, honestly. Seb wants to punch one of them in the face, really, really hard. I’d like to punt them all into oblivion…”

Lucy doesn’t finish her sentence, instead she pulls her phone out of her pocket and reads the message that pops up on the screen – Garnering Sebs attention, that is until Lucy spots him trying to read her screen and she puts the thing away, shaking her head.

“The point is, we’ve all proven everything we need to prove against all of them, at one point or another. They’re always out trying to be the center of attention, yet they never can quite catapult themselves back to their former glory.”

“Aside from bitch slapping Hastings on Chloe’s behalf, I think I’ve covered everything.”

“I mean… I could go for beating the shadow off Phrixus’ face. I still owe him for beating me back in 2019…” Seb said. Lucy and Ken cast him a look. “What? I have a vindication thing. It’s what I do.”

“You’re a mess.” Said Lucy with a chuckle.

“Well… Yes.” Said Seb.”Serious question though, how do the manage to keep that shadow on Deimos’ face while he wrestles? It’s always puzzled me. Do you think he has a snaggle tooth and a unibrow?”

“Hey! Be serious! You’re going to make Ken grumpy…” Said Lucy, glancing at Ken. “… More grumpy…”

“Awwww come on, Number Two. Turn that frown upside down! We get to beat the bullshit out of three UGWC originals… Not bad for the new generation.” Seb added with a smirk. Even Ken lets out a very slight smile at this point.

“I don’t think I’ve counted as a new anything since 1998. Still, point well taken.”

“Now. Onto more pressing matters.” Said Seb, glancing at Lucy again. “Who was that on the phone?”

“Oh my god, no.” Lucy said, holding up a finger to stop Seb on his tracks before turning to stride off.

“Lucy! Wait! I have to know!” Said Seb as he he followed after her. As Lucy and Seb walk off, Ken yells after them.

“And I don’t answer to your sister. It’s called communication and my therapist says it’s very healthy!”

Pause.

“Lucy? Hello?”

More silence.

“Dammit!”