“I want to turn back the clock to before.”

This seems to be a common thought in the mind of “Godly” Ken Davison. Perhaps, that’s why he is standing here, at this moment. There’s a restless feel to the place. However, the small town of Rockland, Massachusetts, located on the South Shore of the state, is usually a pretty quiet and boring place. With the sun setting off in the distance, the clouds creating a drab and overcast gray sky, there is absolutely nothing eye-catching as even the snow on the ground has melted and the few piles that remain are blackened with the dirt and gravel that were mixed in during plowing. Slowly driving into Holy Family Cemetery is a black 1989 Pontiac Grand Am with Maryland plates, a vehicle that is familiar to the caretakers of the grounds. Tall, weathered oaks line the driveway, standing like silent sentinels watching over those who rest here. As the car rolls towards a large gray marble monolith in the center of the grounds, it turns down the last path to the right. The sound of small pebbles underneath the tires breaks the silence as the car comes to a stop.

From the driver’s side, Ken steps out. He is noticeably dressed down, wearing black jeans, a plain black t-shirt and a black leather trench coat. He reaches back into the car, grabbing a small bouquet of pink carnations. He walks past two plots reverently before stopping by the third. He walks over to the headstone and kneels, placing the carnations at the foot of the headstone, then kissing the top of it.

“Long time no talk.”

Ken’s voice is quiet, soft, caring.

“It’s been a while and I wanted to come by and say hi. Let you know what’s going on. I’m at a bit of a crossroads and wanted to ask for your advice.”

Ken pauses, as though waiting for some kind of silent answer. The look on his face is telling, as though he was talking to an actual living, breathing person who, if alive, would be his most trusted confidant.

“Kyra, Adina and I are doing great. There were a few rough patches there. Kyra barely talked to me for two, three months. I guess I still haven’t figured out how to talk to anyone as easily as you and I. Then again, our conversations are always pretty one sided.”

“I know I’ve told you before, but you’d really like her. She holds me accountable. But, I’ve been…” Ken takes a deep breath and then sighs. “I’ve trying to figure something out. The way the lines cross, this is like a soap opera without the murders, at least, there haven’t been any thus far. Things with Mac are… tenuous at best. This whole situation with Masque has been a blessing and a curse, the literal definition of the old idiom about the double-edged sword. Masque has done things to Amber that I would have been proud of a few years back. She took the ‘blood stained hurricane’ and painted a sadistic masterpiece. Even after that, even knowing that Amber is Mac’s wife, she got in my ear. She’s reminded me of who I used to be. She’s reminded me of what I can do. But, this has put me at odds with Mac. We’re in the same book, but by no means on the same page.”

Davison’s face is crossed with guilt. He lets out a sigh that could probably be heard from three rows away, loudly expressing his frustration.

“Still, I can’t argue with the results.I recaptured the SCW World Championship. I marched in and started off the UGWC Global Challenge with a win. I feel a lot like the man I used to be. I feel confident. I feel…” Davison slouches, thinking about his words. “I feel a lot like the man I was when I met Kyra… Fuck! I’m a real piece of shit. Aren’t I? I know I shouldn’t dwell upon the past. I have to prove who and what I am NOW. I cannot rest on my laurels and coast on past accomplishments. That’s what you would have told me, I’d bet. But I know that I haven’t done the best in UGWC. I feel like everytime I lose, I am letting Kyra down. I watched her win the Massive Melee and I was… I don’t know if jealous is the right word. I was fucking proud of her. I didn’t want her spot, but I wanted to know that I could do it, just one more time. The last time I won a rumble style match was back in 2013. Yeah, yeah, I know most people don’t ever win that kind of match, but I still put that pressure on myself, the pressure to be the best.”

Ken stands up and lets out a sigh. He begins nervously pacing back and forth trying to process the thoughts going through his head.

“That’s why I need to win the Global Challenge. This is why I need to step up and become the man I used to be. There was a time when the name “Godly” Ken Davison meant something, not just in the companies I worked for, but throughout the entire business. I know that I can do this. I know that I can win this. I mean, I’m an old man now, this could be it for me. Each year gets tougher and tougher. If it is, then I want to go out on top. Maybe that’s the problem. Maybe my ego is the reason I put too much pressure on myself. I’m right. Aren’t I?”

Ken doesn’t even need to finish his sentence. He knows the answer. He knows that Kyra will be proud of him no matter where he finishes. The pressure he is putting on himself comes from within.

“Thanks, I needed that,” Ken says as he wipes the small amount of dirt sticking to his jeans off. A buzzing is heard coming from Ken’s pocket. He looks down at his phone. There is a message from his wife.

“I know you’re visiting family, and I wasn’t going to bother you but I really need to see you. Somethings come up. I love you, be safe.”

The car door can be heard quietly closing somewhere in the background. The car slowly pulls away, leaving Holy Family Cemetery behind it.

“As we all know, people cannot live forever. While many of us thought someone might step forward to defy the odds of humanity, that simply hasn’t happened yet. I can’t remember who said it first, thanks to all those comedians out there recycling each other’s jokes, but someone mentioned the fact that we used to cure illnesses like it was our job. Polio, measles, tuberculosis none of these stood a chance when the greatest minds of the world were put to work. So explain why we still have someone wheeling Jerry Lewis out on stage every year for his Jerry’s Kids foundation? Do they even still do that, like some kind of ‘Weekend at Bernie’s’ kind of deal? No? Anyway, you would think that with all the money that old racist bastard raked in you’d think they’d have found a cure for little Billy, right?”

“Rarely in life are you given the chance, the opportunity, to start your life over. This doesn’t necessarily mean being reborn as an infant, but falls more under the category of reinventing yourself. We spend all our lives building ourselves up only for others to break us down. Little by little the walls we erect to protect crumble down until what and who we truly are lays open and exposed. Naked and crying for help we can not fathom how we got to this point. Labels and stigmas mar our bodies physically as well as emotionally. Rebirth in this case truly means being given the gift to reinvent who we are. Think of it as a life mulligan , a do-over of epic proportion. To some people this sport is a job; a means of making a living doing something you enjoy. To others it’s more than just their livelihood. This job represents something on a much deeper, more profound level. To some, the idea of giving up the comfort of being the big fish in a little pond is terrifying. Their whole careers have been spent building to this point haven’t they? Becoming so marketable that they’ve transcended merely entertaining; the burdens of the ego maniacs at their best. But for others, to be able to look around the locker room and know that each and every one of those men and women respects them because of their legacy; to them that’s what’s most terrifying to ever relinquish. How do you go from being everything, to being nothing?”

“The big fish can’t thrive in a small pond forever. At some point he’ll need to seek out a bigger stomping ground in order to survive. I was the biggest fish in my pond for a few years; I had the respect, the admiration and the ability to tell management what I wanted knowing I’d get it. Look at where that got me? A reservation on the unemployment line when, what I considered to be, my whole world went belly up. That was almost three years ago. Few men in my position have the ability to learn from the sins of their past and use that knowledge to forge ahead and pave a path to their future. If there’s one thing the Coalition has learned about me at this point, it’s that I’m not like most people. That is why I came to THIS pond. That is why I am here in the Global Challenge. Welcome to my world; welcome to my clean slate. This is my rebirth. That is the exact reason why this match is so important to me. I know that at this point in my career, I only have a certain number of punches left on my bump card. More and more each day, I realize it. Just as I did against Holden Orson, I have to do the same to Dave Rydell.”

“You see, I’m a realist. As everybody knows, I’ve got average size and speed and average ability. But I’ve parlayed that into what I would call a very successful career. And I did that on sheer will alone. What you should be concerned with, Dave, is the intangibles. It’s those unseen qualities that drive me into the status of the elite. It is my toughness, my grit, my ability to take a beating and take a loss and turn a setback into a motivator. All those matches that I didn’t win, they were against the best of the best that UGWC has to offer. It made me realize that they wanted it more because winning is simply a mindset. The difference between myself and Rogan and Lucy and SEB is not that they are more talented than I am. They won because they wanted it more. They put in more effort. Kyra and I were on top of the world and that made me complacent. I can’t speak for her because my queen bounced back and won the Melee that night.”

“I lost a lot at the end of the year last year. It wasn’t until we went on break, when I was looking at our year-end Awards, that looking at the nominations made me go back to when the Baltimore Elite were chasing after the Cooperative championships. The reason that we were able to go undefeated for as long as we did, and we were undefeated for over a year, is because we were willing to put in the work when everybody else was taking a rest day. We put in extra effort when everybody expected us to give up. We were willing to put in that effort for each other and because of that we were able to pull ourselves off the canvas when we’d been knocked down. People who win consistently don’t get to where they are because they are lucky. I lost sight of that. Because I, like so many people, are quick to blame their failures on luck. I did it when we lost the cooperative championships. That was bullshit. It wasn’t luck. It was the fact that instead of going to the gym or going to the ring to train, we decided we were going to jump up and down on a bouncy house after our kids’ birthday. That is why we lost.”

“I want you to understand something, Dave. I want to like you. I really do. You’re the type of guy who’s willing to take three or four shots just to give one. The tenacity is admirable. However, I think Napoleon may have said it best: “Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever.” For me to return to a position of Glory, for that to become my future, that means that I must take your glory and lead it to extinction. Ultimately, my admiration will not prevent me from doing what it is that needs to be done.I started training in this business when I was 15 years old. I started making my name by hurting people, people like you, when I was 19. I didn’t care about the pain and suffering that I caused. I wanted to. I really did. but I’ve done and seen so much in that time, 26 long years. working with kyra, I tried to be the good guy. I tried to be the White Knight. that’s not who I am. that’s not who I want to be. And while I will be the best husband and father I can be, that does not affect who I am between the ropes and I lost sight of that.”

“Understand this, there is no salvation for me! Where I’m going the only way to advance is to cause more pain, inflict more damage and cause more suffering. I know who and what I am. I remember who and what I am. I live a life without illusions, and unfortunately illusions are the one thing that comfort us all. I was once the most ruthless, unforgiving person on the planet, a human cancer, if you will. I am a killer and a warrior and a slaughter of so many souls, that even God, Allah and Buddah working overtime had a hard time keeping score. There is no balance. When Traglia d’el Arte challenged us in a death match, you all got a look at who and what “Godly” Ken Davison truly is.”

Dave, I’m sorry, but some must lose, so that others may live. I have a legacy to fulfill and you’re standing in the path of my immortality. If I could, I wanna comfort you with the words that my evil, abusive father said to me. He said, ‘this is gonna hurt me a lot worse than it’s gonna hurt you.’ But that would be a lie and we both know it. I need to hurt you. I need to make sure that you are in so much pain that you simply give up. To win this match, it is simply not enough. To put you in the hands of God, to gain that submission victory, that is the goal because I don’t want to just take the lead in the Global Challenge, I want to take a commanding lead. I want to watch as your pupils dilate in those last few moments of fear before the lights go out, the moment when you realize that everything I have told you today is true… I simply want this more.”