Date October 30th 2017 / Time 7:17AM / Status Recording
Location UGWC Battleground – Madison Square Garden – New York City, New York

Breathe… Just fucking breathe.

It’s okay. Everything is just fucking fine.

I pull my head out of my hands, looking up into the expectant eyes of a bright and cheery young woman who introduced herself as Rosy Malcolm.. Or was it Roxy? I wasn’t really listening to her when she said her name, obviously. I was far too busy sitting in here by myself; well me and an undisclosed amount of whiskey.. feeling sorry for myself.

Far too busy being a prisoner in my own mind to care that the UGWC fans might want to hear about Lucy Wylde’s thoughts on tonight.

“There’s nothing quite like losing to make someone feel young again, right?”

I laugh, wiping the sweat from my forehead – watching the smile flicker on her lips. As if she wasn’t already expecting a dejected and upset Lucy Wylde to be inside this locker room when she happily knocked upon it. As if her stupid fucking smile could be enough to bring me out of this funk, right?

“I’m not sure I understand.”

Of course she doesn’t. Little bitch probably hasn’t ever stepped into a ring, probably hasn’t ever felt the fear, the nerves.. the inevitable feeling of not being good enough when shit like tonight.. when shit like the last few weeks, happens.

“I guess you wouldn’t. There’s nothing like losing when you said that if you lost you’d lose what pride you had left… not to mention the title belt you worked so hard for, fought for, respected… Losing it to someone who you can only hope realizes the full gravity of this moment.”

The full gravity of this moment settles in on me.. it settles on my chest like an elephant. My reality though is a bit different than the fire eyed woman who’s celebrating with my belt right now.

“Do you, Sarah?”

I ask, turning my attention to the camera that’s seated between us.

“Do you get it? You just won your first singles title. You did it. You were the better woman… tonight. Weeks upon weeks of trying to make me feel like an inferior woman, trying to make me feel old… I hope it was all worth it… because you succeeded. You won.”

I pull in a hard breath, exhaling deeply before I continue.

“Contrary to popular belief, I’m not being sore about it. You won. I knew coming into tonight that this was always something that could happen. I’ve always said you have the talent to accomplish things like this, and I’ll continue to do so… personal feelings aside. Congratulations, Sarah. Just do me the favor of treating that belt with the respect it deserves, eh?

I stare into the lens for a few more seconds before turning my attention down to my hands, almost forgetting there’s another person in the room with me – that is, until she opens her mouth to speak again.

“I’m sure the loss tonight was difficult for you, Miss Wylde.”

“No more difficult than any other.”

Liar.

It hurts like hell.

“I see. If we’re being totally honest here, the last couple of weeks haven’t been easy for you, have they?”

“No, they haven’t.”

Where in the hell is that bottle… I know I put it around here somewhere. I uncross my legs, searching for my missing drink while Molly drones on about how rough my life has been as of late. Blah, blah, blah…

Ah. There the damn thing is. Somehow ended up under my chair. I reach down and grab it, pulling it up into my lap.

“What were you saying?”

I ask, unscrewing the cap – trying to quell my trembling hands.

“I was just saying how the news that Gabriel Baal was the fourth member of the Court must have affected you.”

I bring my hand, and the bottle up to my mouth – wrapping my lips around the mouth of the bottle before it shakes enough to let anything slosh out onto myself, or worse.. the floor.

“Oh, yeah… That. Really shook the UGWC to the core, huh? I’m sure it was so surprising to find out that Gabriel Baal really is the serpent that he’s always claimed to be. I guess you want me to tell you that I was so distraught about that news, that perhaps that was the reason I fell to Sarah here tonight?”

A dry laugh escapes my lips.

Saying his name, it pains me. It makes my stomach churn, and my chest tighten. It makes me need more of this drink in my hands…

“That would be perfect, wouldn’t it? That’s the perfect thing for everyone and their brother to hold over me forever, right? That I was somehow bothered by something that honestly shouldn’t bother anyone around here. Apparently the UGWC is full of people just like Gabriel.”

“Well, I–

I put my hand up.

“I wasn’t done. You’re right. It did affect me. Guess I know how you felt now, don’t I Gabriel?”

Again, I turn away from her and turn to the camera – my eyes piercing though the lens as if I were looking into the snakes eyes in person.

“Outlast. I’m sure you remember. The night you lost your coveted world title. The night I’m sure you’ve blamed on me many, many times. What you don’t know? I’ve blamed myself for weeks over that. I’ve hated myself for putting you in that position, and having to stand by and watch you lose something that you held dear.”

My cheeks start burning with embarrassment, exposing my secret to the world.

“But I’m going to go out on a limb and say that you don’t hate yourself one God damned bit for lying to me, do you? I mean, why would you? You’re not a good man, Gabriel. That is what you’ve said to me, over and over. “

I smile softly, tucking my sweat soaked hair behind my ears.

“And yet? I honestly thought I saw a glimmer of a decent human being somewhere deep down within you.. and I saw something that could have been a real and true friendship between us. Something that wasn’t forced by necessity or by desperation. But stupid me, right? Silly Lucy, getting herself all caught up in the moment… Trusting people that she shouldn’t…”

Am I ashamed of myself? Hell yes. Would I change anything I did if I were to do it all again? No. Does that make me even dumber than everyone probably already thinks I am? Oh yeah. No doubt.

Can’t change who I am though. Can’t change the positives… or the negatives about my decisions, even if this one burnt me bad.

I pull in a hard breath, holding it for a few seconds before exhaling softly – my eyes never breaking their focus on the lens of the camera.

“The funny part? You had a friend. You had someone that would have put her God forsaken soul on the line just to help you. You had someone willing to trek thought he proverbial mud and much, just to keep you from getting dirty. I defended you. I fucking defended you whilst you sat back and chuckled at my expense. I’m sure you and your ‘real’ buddies had a good old time laughing at me.. How can someone with my level of knowledge and the years that I’ve got into this career still be fooled by people like you? I don’t know. Maybe it’s a curse… Maybe my trusting nature will be my downfall… I mean I started it off well by losing my belt, don’t you think?”

I shrug my shoulders.

“But here you are, Gabriel.. Aligned with three people who will stab you in the back the first second that you’re of no use to them anymore. Aligned with three people who are only out for themselves.. Sounds familiar, right?”

I try to maintain the smile on my face while that familiar stinging hits the corners of my eyes.

“Wait a minute.. what’s that word we’re so fond of using around here? Oh yeah… Deserve. Typically I don’t like using that word… but you’ll deserve that knife in your back… Friend.”

A tear slips out of the corner of my eye and slides down my cheek.

“But I forgot, you’re the mighty Gabriel Baal so you’re already expecting that knife between your shoulder blades, right? Of fucking course you are.”

Another tear, but this one I wipe away.

“It’s ironic. I thought I’d found a friend here. I thought I’d found a person that helped to make it not so damned lonely around here… But thank you Gabriel. Thank you for finally forcing me to feel what I’ve been hiding from everyone for so long.”

My voice shakes as I finish that statement, and my hands grip onto the bottle in my lap for dear life as I continue.

“Thank you for being the straw that broke the camels back. For it to be anyone else, well it wouldn’t have been nearly as fitting. Thank you for being my wake up call – God know’s I’ve needed it.”

I laugh out again as the tears roll down my face.

“And thank you… for helping me realize how utterly alone I am here in the UGWC. My only wish is that you someday understand what that feels like…”

I don’t break eye contact with the camera right away, but when I do – I turn to see the wide eyed expression of the woman who was supposed to be interviewing me. I wipe my face off and take a swig from the bottle – shrugging my shoulders again.

“How’s that for ‘thoughts’?”

 

Date Unknown / Time Unknown / Status Unknown
Location Unknown

“Look at you.”

My eyes fly open and I sit up – looking around, until I finally see him.. standing in the corner of my bedroom, a wry smirk on his lips.

“What the hell are you doing here?”

“What wouldn’t I be doing here?”

He asks, pushing himself away from the corner, taking a few steps forward – his face finally coming into the light. My eyes widen, and I slide backwards on the bed, still a bit groggy and trying to figure out how he got in here.

This can’t be happening.

“This is my home. You’re not welcome.”

He laughs.

“Come now. Look at you. You’d welcome just about anyone into that bed with you at this point.”

I scoff, although his words echo in my head as I continue to move away towards the opposite edge of the bed. As my feet hit the floor, the chill of the hardwood sends a chill through my body. I bring my arms up to my chest instinctively as I turn around, shaking my head at him.

“Why don’t you just leave me alone?”

He moves around the bed, smoothing his hands over the front of his suit jacket – that smile on his face growing more sinister, the closer he gets. And the closer he gets, the faster my heart beats in my chest, the harder my lungs have to work to get air into by body… But despite all of that, I hold my ground.

“Get the hell out, Ga-”

I move my arm to point towards the door, but he grabs me by the throat before I can even finish the sentence. His fingertips dig into the sides of my neck as he pushes me over my nightstand and presses me into the wall – my head hitting hard enough that I’m seeing stars.

I reach up and grab his arm; trying desperately to pry his hand from my throat but I’m already starting to feel the effects of the lack of oxygen.

“G-ga….”

“This is exactly what you wanted. Isn’t it?”

I open my mouth to answer, but he only tightens his grip. My eyes widen and my struggle turns even more desperate, my fingernails digging into his forearm – trying anything to get him to lessen his vice-like grip on my windpipe.

But instead, he picks me up and tosses me by my throat onto the bed.

I manage to catch my breath for a moment, trying to scramble away but he grabs me by the hair and jerks me back towards him.

“Get off of–”

My eyes start watering as he pulls on my hair again, pulling some of it out in his haste to bring my back. I scream out, hoping that someone in one of the other apartments will hear me and call for the police.

“HELP!”

I barely get the word out before he pushes my head down into the mattress before rolling me over onto my back. I reach out and claw at his face, but I don’t know if I manage to get a piece of him before he wraps his hand around my neck once more.

“You like this.”

I shake my head as the tears flow from my eyes and down the sides of my face.

“Oh don’t cry, dear… There’s plenty of time for that…”

I feel the blood rushing to my face and I close my eyes –

“Don’t do that, Love… I want you to see this.”

He lets go of my neck and I open my eyes to find his face nearly touching mine. I gasp and try to wriggle away from him, but his hands find my wrists and he pins them to the bed. His hot breath envelops my face and my stomach begins churning.

“Just let me go…”

I manage to whisper, my voice raspy and my throat feeling like I swallowed sandpaper. I don’t know what pleading will do…

“Let you go? But you wanted this.. All of this. Didn’t you?”

His lips lightly brush the side of my lips and I try to bite him. He chuckles and squeezes my wrists tighter – his strength nearly snapping the bones in half; at least that’s how it feels. He moves his leg in between mine, shoving his knee up as far as it can go – making it nearly impossible to do anything with the lower half of my body.

If panic hadn’t set in yet, it is now.

I move my face away from his, turning my head and crying out.

“No…”

“Your lips tell me no, but your eyes… They tell me that this is what you’ve wanted since, well.. you divorced your husband. You want to be controlled… you want to be taken…”

I feel his lips on my neck and I shudder.

“You can’t deny it… You’re shaking.”

I am. I am shaking. I can’t believe this is happening. I’m scared. I’m helpless and I’m at his mercy. Slowly, I turn my face back to his, that sickening smirk on his lips. I push my arms against his hands, trying to force him off of me.

“JUST GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME!”

I screech, an instant burn rising up my throat, my windpipe feeling scorched as I swallow hard.

“Why must you lie?”

“I-I’m not!”

Much to my surprise, he releases my hands and he sits up, his arms dangling at his sides. It starts out as a chuckle, but quickly grows into a hearty laugh, emanating from deep within the man. Disgusting. I can’t believe I ever found him to be attractive.

“You know? You really are quite worthless, my dear. Here I am, giving you exactly what you’ve wanted.. what you’ve needed, and I don’t even get a simple ‘thank you’ or ‘yes sir’. Ungrateful.”

“T-Then.. Then I don’t deserve this… favor.”

He grins.

“Quite right.”

He moves, and I think he’s moving to get off of me – but before I realize it, he’s got me by the shirt, pulling me up towards him, an evil look in his eyes.

“But you do deserve this punishment.”

He pulls my face to his, his lips touching mine as I try to get away. He pulls away after a few seconds, his hand cracking my face, my head turning sickeningly to the side with the force of the blow. I cry out as it feels like a thousand bees are stinging my face, the tears flowing freely as I see him above me reeling back for another.

“Please.. N–”

 

Date November 6th 2017 / Time 11:21AM / Status Recording
Location The Wylde Residence – New York City, New York

I open my eyes, my hand immediately moving to my face as my phone rings beside me on the nightstand. I fully expect to feel the warmth of a fresh slap, but instead I feel the clammy skin of someone who drank far too much the night before. Bringing myself to sit up, I look around the room for any disturbances or rather.. any one.

It felt so real.

And it’s just what I need.

I roll my eyes and pull the blanket from my body, realizing that I’m drenched in sweat. Jesus. How fucking pitiful am I? I grab the phone from the nightstand and bring it to my ear without looking at who’s calling – there’s far too much on my mind right now to care.

“Luce?”

“Kyra?”

“I was wondering if you were ever going to pick up.”

I wipe my forehead and sigh. I’m really not in the mood for this right now. I still feel like I’m inside that dream, expecting him to just walk back in at any moment.

His eyes. I can’t get them out of my head.

“Listen, I just got up.. can I like.. Call you back or something?”

“You just got up?”

I put my free hand up to my forehead, pressing my thumb and pointer finger into the bridge of my nose. I can feel the headache coming on.

“Yeah. Is that okay?”

“Oh, someone’s snarky. Got a hangover?”

Yes.

“It’s none of your business.”

I say pointedly.

“So it’s not. I didn’t call you to question your life decisions.”

“Shocker.”

“Actually, it’s serious. Have you read the paper lately?”

The paper? I shake my head.

“No.. I’m in New York, you’re in Florida…”

“You might be interested to see what’s running in the USA Today from this past week.”

My eyebrows go up.

“…Why?”

“Just go read it.”

“Kyra just tell m-”

I stop speaking when I realize I’m talking to an dead line. How nice. What the hell could be in that paper that would be of any interest to me?

 

So here we are again, Alan… Jessica… Here we are again forced together into a match that means what, exactly? Is there anything at stake here? I appreciate the little shout out on Twitter though, Jess – It was pretty cute how you actually thought that that was going to garner you any favor heading into Synergy.

Sure, you’re a wrestler and you’re coming off of a huge win against Killian at Battleground. So congratulations on that. It’s just… well, I’ve been there and done that. Really, it shouldn’t be a defining moment in your career, sweetie.

Forgive me if I seem a bit… out of sorts. I’m sure you’re going to bring your A-game to this match because you ‘respect’ Vain and I… probably. Or maybe you’re just full of shit like the rest of the jackasses around here. I don’t know anymore, nor do I give a flying fuck. To me, you’re just another stepping stone to get where I want to go… and if you can’t figure out where I want to go after the events of the last few weeks..

Then I don’t think there’s any hope for you, Jessica.

Now, Alan – you understand where I’m headed. At least I hope you do. I’m not really in the mood to explain though, so we’ll just assume you do.

The two of you walked out of Battleground winners. But with all-due respect, I’m here to make sure you walk out of Synergy losers. I walk into this week with absolutely nothing to lose and I plan on taking advantage of that. I got a little high on my horse, but not to worry, little Mrs Lacklan and The Court knocked me right back down to terra firma… and well, here I am.

No title belt.

No friends.

Nothing.

Right back to where I started.

Story of my life. But you know? That’s fine by me. Like I said, I ain’t got shit to lose here this week, and everything to gain. Lucy Wylde doesn’t go on losing streaks, so don’t expect to be the one who adds the second loss in a row to my record, because it’s not happening. I refuse to sink any further into the depths of which they would like to bury me into.

And if that means putting the two of you beneath me to keep myself above sea level?

So be it.