Wednesday Evening
The Velvet Rabbit

Two days wasn’t nearly enough time. Yet here Lucy sat, head down, nursing her fourth drink of the evening. She came out, not because she wanted to celebrate even though this was clearly a celebration of the biggest win of Sebastian’s career. She came out to avoid conflict.

Once again, Lucy Wylde backed down.

After a week of taking what was hers, she ended it in defeat. She ended it by reverting back to the same old, resilient Lucy that everyone takes for granted.

“You doin’ alright, Lass?” Rogan asked, drawing her attention from the nearly empty glass before her. Rogan knew she didn’t want to be here right now, amid the festivities, but he also knew she was only suffering through it for the sake of her friendship with Sebastian. And one look in those blue eyes of hers told him that she was, indeed, suffering.

Lucy shrugged her shoulders. “I’ve been better.” She said quietly, not wanting to invite the attention of any of their friends who were celebrating around her.

“I know. If you wanna go…” Rogan began, but Lucy shook her head the moment he’d begun that last thought.

“No, It’s okay. It’s just.. It’s like a slap in the face, you know?” Lucy took a subtle glance across the bar at a smiling Seb and Sloane as they chatted with Thad and everyone else before looking back at Rogan. “None of them gave a shit about how I felt going into Monday, and I’m supposed to believe it matters now that they all got what they wanted? Inviting me out was supposed to do what, comfort me? When all it really is is rubbing it all in my face.”

Lucy lowered her gaze again before finishing off the rest of her drink. Rogan sighed and wrapped an arm around Lucy’s back, pulling her close and kissing the side of her head. “I don’t blame you for feeling that way, Lass..”

“But I am happy for him.” Lucy continued, barely acknowledging Rogan’s reassurances as she took another glance at Seb. “I meant everything I said, but in the same vein, this fucking blows.”

She pulled in a breath, ready to keep going but stopped herself as Thad approached and grabbed her empty glass; refilling it and winking at her before stepping off to take care of other patrons. Once he moved far enough away, Lucy let out a sigh and sipped from the newly refilled glass.

“So much for making Lucy feel better, huh?” Lucy chuckled dryly into her glass.

“They mean well, Lass. I don’t have any reason to believe they would have wanted you here simply to–”

“I know they didn’t. But who would have figured that the moment the great Sebastian Everett Bryce stepped into the place people would be all over him, congratulating him for…” Lucy motioned her hands so she didn’t have to repeat herself again, “…Well, you know..”

Taking another drink, she shook her head. Rogan simply sat and watched her, unsure of what to say, or do to help her in the face of what she deemed ‘the most recent of her greatest failures’.

This one hurt her, it stung far more than any of the others. Maybe it was because of the nature of the match itself, being against someone she cared for so deeply. With that same person being someone she’d never come out on top against, it just confirmed what Lucy had felt deep down, that she wasn’t sure how much more she had to give to the industry that she loved.

Lucy knew that line of thought would do her no good, but she also felt insulted when others told her she shouldn’t feel the way she felt. That she’s more than just one loss, one failure.

“It feels like I’m just as good as what I can do for them. No one really cares whether I stay or I go.. They just care that I won’t be around anymore to be Lucy, the doormat.” She finally said, bitterness dripping from every word. “My success is only acceptable when it doesn’t conflict with someone more important.”

“I don’t believe that for a moment, Lucy.” Rogan began, putting his hand up to stop Lucy when she’d opened her mouth to retort. “But the wound is still fresh. You haven’t time enough to process it. Give yourself a break, Lass.”

“But I don’t want to. I’m tired of it, Rogan. Everyone wants to remind me of how great I am because I bounce back from shit like this and I keep going. It gets old after a while. I never wanted to be known for my ability to recover from constant failure and still be a difficult-to-beat – yet completely beatable opponent.”

“But that trait is why so many look up to you, Lass. You do what so many can’t, yeah?”

Lucy shrugged. “Yeah. I guess.”

She didn’t want to argue with Rogan, so she let it go. She finished off drink number five and let the glass clink against the bar when she put it down. Taking another glance at her friends, her eyes met Sebs and she forced a smile on her lips until he nodded and returned to whatever conversation he was having with Sloane and everyone else.

Instead of feeling better, Lucy found herself more angry. Watching Seb continue on with his night, not a care in the world, happy as could be – it made her mind wander back to the week before, and everything she’d done leading into their meeting in London.

That feeling of taking what she wanted without worrying about what anyone thought. Embracing darkness she’d shied from for so long and the rush of taking control back from those who’d stolen it from her… She wanted that feeling back more than anything.

She shook her head, she knew she shouldn’t feel that way. Being a beacon of light to others wasn’t the worst fate imaginable… So why was her stomach churning at the thought of doing it again? Finally, Lucy brought herself to her feet and squeezed Rogan’s hand. It was time she told Rogan everything.

“I think I’m ready to go. I’ve got some explaining to do and I’ve got something I want to show you.”