Date May 24th 2017 / Time 09:17AM / Status Not Recording
Location Tokyo, Japan – Tokyo Haneda Airport

I’ve never really noticed it before.

The tearful goodbyes, the ecstatic reunions… the raw emotions involved in both. I’ve never truly stopped to watch other people, to witness their most vulnerable moments, the moments in which they feel the happiest of happiness or the saddest of sadness. There really is no in between.

Not here.

Sure, as I look around this airport, seated by gate 14 – there are plenty of people walking into or out of here with seemingly no care whatsoever about who they’re leaving or what they’re heading to. But out there somewhere, maybe even lying beneath those calm, cool exteriors… there’s someone who does care, someone who does feel something about their arrival or their departure.

I’ve never really noticed it before.

Not until now.

You see, I’m waiting on a reunion of my own.. and frankly I’m not one hundred percent certain how to feel about it. Little over two weeks ago I told someone that I was leaving and that I wasn’t coming back because I honestly wasn’t sure that I was what he needed anymore. I stood there in our living room and looked into those Auburn eyes that I’ve looked into hundreds of times before, and I saw nothing.

I saw a shell of the man that I married all those years ago.

I saw someone that I didn’t know.

So what am I going to see when he walks through that gate in a few minutes? Who is the man who sent that tweet the other day… ‘I’ve made a decision. I’m tired of fighting it. Come on home baby. I love you’. The tweet read around the world apparently. The tweet judged around the world too…

I sigh and sit back in my chair, crossing my legs. What made him change his mind? What made him realize that I was… or rather I am something… Someone that he needs in his life? I pray to God that the man that walks into this airport isn’t the same man who I left a little over 14 days ago. I pray to God that there is some semblance of the man I love within those eyes.. because I don’t know if I could handle it if I found out that those words he typed were exactly what everyone else thinks they are…

Hollow.

Empty.

Lies.

His words echo though my head over and over, his words give me chills and makes me sweat all at the same time. That’s why I’ve never noticed any of this before… because I’ve never had so much at stake before.. and if I ever thought I had.. I was dead wrong.

My future hinges on this moment…

I just hope I’m not disappointed.

“Luce.”

I glance up; my heart skipping a beat as I see him. He step out into the unforgiving fluorescent lighting sporting a five O’clock shadow and dark bags under his eyes. He looks like he hasn’t slept for days…

“Ceej…”

I reply, my voice shaking as I bring myself to my feet – hiding my trembling hands behind my back as he approaches me, his eyes raking up and down my body; from my hair, tied back into a tight bun.. all the way down to that cumbersome knee brace and swollen knee that I’ve been sporting for what feels like ever.

I can feel my eyes stinging as he gets closer, I can feel my heart rate quickening the more I stare into those intense hues that seem… different.

“I–”

Before I can finish my thought, he pulls me to him – wrapping his arms around me and holding me tighter than I’ve ever been held before. I close my eyes, squeezing out a few tears into his shirt as I wrap my arms around his waist and take in the smell of him, the warmth…

“I love you.”

Upon hearing those words, I can’t contain the emotion anymore and the tears begin flowing freely from my eyes. It’s now that I really understand… truly feel the gravity.. the emotions that I’ve watched so many others go through. It’s relief. It’s happiness… It’s everything. It’s everything I was hoping would happen… It’s everything I hoped wouldn’t have ever had to happen in my marriage… but it did..

And here we are.

“I love you too CJ…”

I reply, pulling away from him – wiping the tears from my eyes as I look up at him.

“I’m tired of doing this…”

“Me too.”

I nod my head and open my mouth to speak, only to be cut off again – this time with him leaning in and placing a soft, warm kiss on my lips. I can’t explain it.. I can’t even begin to understand what I’m feeling; but it’s different… he’s different.

Maybe I did the right thing after all.

Maybe this was what needed to happen – no matter how hard it was… maybe this was the realization that both of us needed in order to come back to this…

Our reality check.

I wrap my arms around his neck, returning the kiss as people shuffle around us within the confines of the gate area. We honestly don’t care as people shove past us, obviously not in touch with their own emotions – obviously not as in tune with the intensity of returning or leaving as the two of us are right now.

I’ve never realized it until right now.

 

 

Date May 28th 2017 / Time 10:49AM / Status Not Recording
Location Tokyo, Japan – The Tokyo Dome

My reason for coming here in the first place; Carnage Wrestling’s Underground. Might not seem like much, might not seem like it’s worth a trip to Japan, but after the last few weeks… after the knee injury… I needed to get away. I needed to go and do something.. anything other than focus on my own career right now..

Or lack there of.

Yeah, I’ve contemplated hanging the boots up. I’ve seriously contemplated it.. and I’ve also read the judgments placed on me by people who have no right to judge me for my choices. So what if I feel like I’m done… So what if I feel like I don’t want to keep going.. Hell, I’ve made it clear that I would be perfectly content in retirement again.

So what makes anyone think that I give a fuck about their opinion of my little pity party.

And yeah, it was a pity party…

“How’s the knee?”

CJ asks me as we walk out of the arena; noticing the obvious limp that’s gotten worse throughout the night.

“It’s there.. that’s about all I can figure right now.”

Truth is… it hurts. It hurts a lot. I’ve never been injured. I’ve been lucky in all my matches, I’ve been seriously lucky to make it out relatively unscathed. Until UGWC.. Until Zane Scott.

I grimace as I take another step, wondering if I will even be able to get back into the ring… If I even want to at this point. Or the bigger question… Should I even risk it?

“Here, let me help you.”

He reaches out and grabs me, picking me up and carrying me the same way he did when we crossed the threshold of our home for the first time. I can’t help but to smile, despite the throbbing in my knee. It’s kind of nice to be taken care of for once… It’s kind of nice to be the one that needs some help, rather than being the one always doing for everyone else.

“You don’t have to–”

“Oh, shut up and enjoy it.”

A little color rushes to my cheeks as he lays his proverbial foot down. I love the way he talks to me. It’s not mean, it’s not rude… It’s damn sexy when he takes control. It’s damn sexy when he does what he wants, and doesn’t let me take back control.

“Yes sir…”

I reply, a devilish grin on my face.

So what if… this time.. I want to keep going for myself? What if I want to go out on my own terms, and not on the terms of some dipshit wielding a steel chair?

I don’t think that’s too much to ask..

That is if my knee cooperates.

He sets me down gingerly beside the car, opening the door an motioning for me to get in, but instead of complying, I lean against the back door of the car. He puts his hands on his hips and sighs.

“What?”

“Do you think I can come back from this… Seriously Ceej…”

He laughs and shakes his head; as if my question was the most ridiculous question he’s ever heard in his life. I cross my arms over my chest and frown. I know he doesn’t mean to, but damnit I hate it when he does that.

“CJ…”

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry.. but that’s ridiculous. Of course you can; if anyone could… it’s you hun.”

I sigh and run my hand through my hair, turning to sit down in the passenger seat, but he reaches out and grabs my arm – stopping me.

“Listen.. I shouldn’t have laughed. But you’re Lucy Wylde…”

“Yeah, and I’ve never dealt with anything like this before… I don’t–”

“And that’s the reason that you’re going to be just fine.”

I shake my head.

“It might be my downfall too.”

 

OOC Notes: CJ Wylde used with permission.